


Falling In Love With a Lie

by kennac



Series: Decent Into Darkness [3]
Category: A-Team (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-23
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 21:33:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kennac/pseuds/kennac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain HM Murdock has been with Smith's alpha team for nearly a year but he still worries that the Colonel will think he's more trouble than he's worth. Then there's Murdock's best friend in the hell-hole of Vietnam - Lieutenant Templeton 'Face' Peck - who thinks it is his mission in life to get the romantic pilot laid.</p><p>Enter USO showgirl Sheila Downey. Murdock can't deny an immediate attraction to the pretty little lady who can play piano and sings like an angel. But he doesn't really fall for her until he begins to suspect there's far more to the petite woman than a talent for music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meeting

“We’re in luck, Murdock. Viola’s with this group.”

Captain HM ‘Howlin’ Mad’ Murdock shook out of his semi-comatose state as his best friend, Lieutenant Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, grabbed his arm and pointed up to the stage. 

Murdock followed Face’s gaze to where several pretty, young, female members of the USO tour that had arrived that morning stood. Unfortunately, he had no clue which young woman he was supposed to be looking at. The truth was he didn’t even really remember walking from the airfield to the stage at Nha Trang Military Base in Vietnam.  He yawned.

Face gave his arm an exasperated thump. “Jesus, Murdock, wake up. You know how it is when these girls come on base. If we don’t lay claim now, we’re going to become part of the rabble. Of course, with Vi here, that gives us a leg up. Am I happy to see her.”

Murdock grunted in response, too tired to plot Face’s next sexual conquest. Colonel Vickers, his Aviation CO, had had him running ops until the wee hours of the morning. Then as he was dropping into bed Colonel Smith, his Special Forces CO, had called an impromptu briefing and they had completed a recon sweep for their next mission.

It was late afternoon when he had finally wrapped up everything with the bird. Then Face had shown up and dragged him to the stage. His friend hadn’t even give him a chance to change out of his flight suit.

“Vi is the woman of my dreams, Murdock. I’m telling you, buddy, Viola is like the embodiment of the free love movement.”

Stifling another yawn, Murdock muttered, “Free love, huh? Seems to me you ain’t ever short on free love, Faceman.”

Face’s smile was a strange combination of dreamy and lewd. “Vi is all about the sexual act as a natural part of human interaction...  and man, is she a natural.”

While Face jogged toward the stage, Murdock dragged himself after, shaking his head at the kid-at-Christmas excitement of his friend.  A shapely young woman with dark brown curls wearing a brightly colored, low-cut shirt and white short shorts screeched when she caught sight of him. Leaping off the stage, she ran to Face and wrapped around him. Murdock smirked. If he’d been guaranteed a greeting like that he’d be excited, too.

Face’s grin was broad as he swung her around. “Hey, Vi! What a great surprise.”

“My favorite soldier.” She gave him a warm, open-mouthed kiss before releasing him. “It’s been a while since I saw you. I figured for sure you’d have scammed your way stateside by now.”

“You know, Face, she’s right. Why haven’t you scammed yourself a ticket home?” Murdock asked.

“Well, hello there.” Stepping past Face, the perky woman tilted her head to the side, gaze blatantly appraising. “You gonna introduce me to your tall, handsome friend here, Templeton?”

“Viola Greene, meet Captain HM Murdock. Murdock, Vi.”

Taking Murdock’s right hand in both of hers, she said “Nice to meet you.” She ran her thumbs over the back of his hand. “Large, strong – very nice. What do you do with these hands, HM?”

Murdock shifted under her gaze. “I fly.”

Her smile was suggestive as she took a step closer. “I’d love to have you take me up sometime.”

Face inserted himself between Murdock and Vi, taking her hands.

“Down girl, he’s not your type. I’ve been working on him, but he’s still kind of an old-fashioned guy.”

“Old-fashioned, huh? Pity.” Vi smiled at Murdock coyly and winked, then turned her attention back to Face. “So, how much longer are you in country?”

“Who knows? I lose track.”

An amused snort was interrupted by another yawn, forcing Murdock to cover his mouth. Face knew how much time he had – they all did. In fact, Face had signed on for another year in this hell-hole just last month. He shook his head to clear the gathering cobwebs. It bothered him that he understood why; after extending his first tour, he had signed up for a voluntary second tour himself. Murdock liked working with Smith’s team. It had been a long while since he felt like he belonged anywhere.

“Hey, Murdock.”

Zoned out, it took him a few seconds to focus. When Murdock looked up, Face was motioning to him from up on stage. He jumped up to join him just as Vi took the arm of the woman sitting at the piano and pulled her to her feet.

“Captain HM Murdock, old-fashioned guy, meet Sheila Downey, old-fashioned gal. She just joined us in Saigon. She’s new in country. Originally from the great state of Texas, just like you.”

Petite at over a foot shorter than him, with a mop of honey-gold hair that framed a broad, expressive face, the woman next to Vi took Murdock’s breath away. Her full lips were curved up in a smile that could’ve lit a night sky. But what really caught his attention were the large, wide-set eyes, the color of the sky he loved so much.

Sheila held out a hand and he took it, admiring the firm, confident grip. “It’s nice to meet you, Captain Murdock.”

He hoped like hell the smile on his face wasn’t as goofy as it felt. “Murdock, um, you can just call me Murdock.”

“Murdock, please, call me Sheila.”

He nodded and couldn’t seem to stop grinning at her like an idiot. Then he realized he was still holding her hand and released it abruptly.

“S-sorry about that.”

Face sniggered. “Don’t mind him, Sheila. Murdock’s just captivated by the scenery.”

Eyes widening, Murdock protested, “I’m kind of out of it. I was in the air all night.” He considered Sheila’s inscrutable expression, and added repentantly, “Really, I’m not usually this slow.”

“Man, that’s the truth. Usually he’s totally manic. You just aren’t catching him at his best,” Face said.

A warm smile appeared on her face, accompanied by a low chuckle. “Well, I guess maybe we should try this again after you’ve gotten some sleep.”

 “We’ll definitely have to do that.” Murdock felt himself relax, smiling at Sheila fondly.

“Man, there goes my hopes for a new conquest this evening. Guess I’ll just have to make do with you, Temp.” Vi sighed and took hold of Face’s arm possessively.

Obviously happy to have Vi hanging off his arm, Face didn’t seem sure what to make of what she’d just said. Murdock couldn’t help but laugh.

“Face as the booby prize - now there’s a switch for ya.”

Face gave him a withering look before turning his most dazzling smile on Vi. “So, are you girls busy tonight?”

Sheila opened her mouth, but Vi cut her off.

“Absolutely not. What did you have in mind?”

mmm

It was a chore getting her reluctant roomy to dinner with the guys. Viola sat next to Face and staked her claim. Though Sheila sat next to the pilot, she seemed a bit standoffish, especially at first. She also kept pretty quiet. Vi blamed that on herself – she hadn’t given Sheila a chance to back out of the date or she probably would have. After all, she’d refused every double dating opportunity Vi had offered over the last month.

As it ended up, Vi didn’t talk a whole lot either. The two men were obviously good friends, and they played off each other like a practiced comedy team. They took turns telling amusing stories, each one more fantastic than the last. Murdock’s zany sense of humor seemed to drive Face kind of nuts, and the interaction between them was entertaining. Sheila even loosened up and by the end of dinner, they were all cracking up. Parting ways at the mess hall entrance, they promised to meet later at a nearby bar.

Vi grabbed Sheila by the arm as they walked toward their tent. “Those two are hilarious.”

“Yeah,” Sheila said with a laugh. “It was like watching two of the stooges, only without the eye-poking and head-slapping.”

“I think they came pretty close a couple times.” Vi patted Sheila’s arm. “I’m glad you came. I know you were nervous, but Murdock seems like a really nice guy.”

Smile thoughtful, Sheila nodded agreement. “Yeah, he does seem really nice. I’m glad I came, too.”

Vi grinned in triumph. She was finally making progress with her tight-laced roomy.

mmm

Murdock dropped onto his bunk and closed his eyes. Coffee had helped him make it through dinner, but the buzz had worn off pretty fast. He needed to sleep for at least a little while before they met the girls at the bar. Unfortunately, Face was in the mood to talk.

“So what do you think? Vi is hot, with a capital ‘H.’ I’m sorry you drew the short straw, bud. Maybe Sheila will liven up with a couple drinks in her.”

Rolling onto his side, Murdock opened his eyes and looked at his friend.

“First of all, I believe Vi indicated she was the one who drew the short straw. And secondly, I think Sheila is nice, just a little... shy. I mean she just got in country and you know what a culture shock that can be.”

“Vi did not draw the short straw.”

Murdock grinned. “Neither did I.”

Face shrugged. “Hopefully. I’m sure Sheila will be fine once she loosens up. I mean, she’s Vi’s roomy, she’s gotta be an easy lay –”

“You know, Face, it’s not all about getting laid.”

“Yeah, yeah – I know, you’re looking for what your grandparents had.”

Murdock groaned, tired of having this conversation with Face.

“I’m not saying that Sheila is _the_ one. But she’s someone’s daughter, and she deserves a certain amount of respect. You treat every woman like a walking vagina. They do have brains, Face.”

“Whatever. I keep telling you that you should take what you can get. Sheila’s only here for a few days, anyway. It’s not like you’re gonna forge a lifelong relationship with her. Screw her and move on. You can look for your soul mate once you’re stateside.”

“You don’t _look_ for your soul mate, Face, you just find them.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in God,” Face said.

“I never said that…” Murdock’s half-hearted denial trailed off into a yawn.

“Well the way you talk about love is the way some people talk about the hereafter…”

Half-listening to his friend, Murdock found himself remembering Sheila’s eyes. Wide and sky-blue, they were probably her best feature. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then what he saw in hers told him she was worth getting to know. Face was still going and Murdock shrugged as he rolled to his back. Sometimes, it was kind of fun to get Face spun up.

“Then again, who knows, maybe Shelia could be the one. I’m certainly not one to ignore the possibility. I’m looking forward to getting to know her.”

“I do hope you mean in the biblical sense. I really don’t want a repeat of the Nurse Jensen incident...”

Murdock closed his eyes and tuned out the ensuing lecture. He’d heard it before anyway.

m

Face stopped mid-sentence when Murdock snored. He looked over at his sleeping friend in disgust. The pilot’s romantic bent was a little hard for him to fathom. Murdock actually wanted to find a woman he could spend the next sixty years with. The thought made Face feel claustrophobic. Who in their right mind would voluntarily sign up for that?

He appreciated the irony of that thought. A lot of people would wonder the same thing about his choice to voluntarily re-up last month. Murdock understood the why – he had made the same choice just a few months ago, himself. Maybe Face should stop wondering why Murdock wasn’t riding his shirt tails through the nursing corps and try to understand why he was so hell-bent on finding the woman of his dreams.

Laying back on his bunk, Face snickered to himself. No way.

mmm

Back at their quarters, Vi stripped down to nothing, then spent quite a bit of time picking what to wear, and almost as importantly what not to wear. By the time she had decided, she turned to find Sheila dressed and reading a book.

“You are _not_ wearing _that_?”

Sheila looked up. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

The girl was so Midwest it wasn’t funny. For a big city girl, she certainly didn’t have much style; blue jeans and an unremarkable blue shirt with tennis shoes. Other than the color of the shirt, which complemented Sheila’s eyes, the outfit was decidedly pedestrian. Her shy roomy obviously needed help and Vi was just the girl to give it.

Holding up a very short and stylish go-go dress, Vi said, “Sweetie, if you want to turn Murdock’s head, you are going to have to get with the times and wear something like this. What you have on might be ok if you were headed to the barn to milk cows, but not for a night out on the town with a tall, handsome pilot.”

She tossed the dress aside and turned to look in her closet again, certain that Sheila didn’t have anything appropriate.

“You know, Sheila, you have great legs, you need to show ‘em off in a mini. And you may not have a whole lot up top but that shirt _really_ ain’t doin’ much for ya. We’re about the same waist size, I’m sure I have something in here that will fit you.”

“I don’t know, Vi. I’ve never really been into the whole fashion scene.”

Pulling out a blue jean miniskirt, Vi gave a satisfied nod. “You just let Viola fix you up, Sheila. I know what men like.”

mmm

For at least the fourth time since they left their quarters, Sheila tugged down on the miniskirt and Vi sighed in exasperation. She was glad she had decided against the red sleeveless shirt with plunging neckline and opted for the more conservative electric blue spandex top. The color really highlighted Sheila’s eyes and the snug fitting fabric hugged the few curves she had.

Sheila’s fingers trailed along the hem of the mini, and then tugged on it again.

“Vi, it feels like my ass is hanging out of this thing. I’d really rather go back and put on my own clothes.”

“If you do that, we’ll be late. The guys are probably already waiting for us. C’mon, Sheila, trust me. Murdock is going to love it.”

They walked into the bar a few minutes later. Vi waved at Face with a big smile, then sighed as Sheila tugged at the skirt again.

“Would you stop fidgeting with the damn skirt, Sheila. It’s fine. Your ass is not hanging out.” _Any more than it’s supposed to_ , she thought with a wry smile.

Putting her hands on the shorter woman’s shoulders, Vi pushed her toward the table in the corner where Face and Murdock both stood waiting for them.

“Hi boys. I hope we didn’t keep you waiting.” Sidling up to Face, Vi gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Murdock held out a chair for Sheila, and Vi shot her a warning glare as she started tugging on the skirt again. Shrugging apologetically, Sheila sat down.

“What do you girls want to drink?” Face asked.

“I’ll take a gin and tonic,” Vi said. Worried that Sheila would ask for something embarrassing like a Shirley Temple, she added hastily, “So will Sheila.”

Sheila flashed Vi an irritated glare and Murdock chuckled. “Stop putting words in her mouth, Vi. Whatcha want to drink, Sheila?”

Smiling gratefully at him, she said, “ _I’d_ like whiskey, please.”

“I’ll go get the drinks,” Murdock said.

Sheila’s eyes followed the pilot up to the bar and Vi had to stifle a laugh. She strayed a look herself and nodded appreciatively. At least the girl wasn’t blind.

Face’s arm slipped around her, his breath tickling her ear as he leaned in close.

“C’mon, Vi, quit playing me like that. No need to make me jealous by drooling over my best friend.”

“I didn’t think it was possible to make you jealous, Templeton.”

Looking into his blue eyes, she heaved a dreamy sigh. Templeton Peck was one of the best-looking men she had ever met, from his carefully-groomed platinum hair, to his blue eyes and thousand watt smile, to his muscular physique – he had the whole package. As much as the captain’s hands fascinated her, she knew she’d enjoy her night with the lieutenant.

Sheila could have the pilot.


	2. Getting Acquainted

The bar was fairly quiet, but more people were coming in steadily and Sheila knew it would soon get loud. Personally, she preferred quiet bars, where you could sit in the corner and drink without anyone bothering you.

Murdock came back and set her drink in front of her with a friendly smile. His generous mouth and warm brown eyes were set in an angular face under a shock of unkempt brown hair which for the first time since she’d met him wasn’t hidden under a baseball cap. The high widow’s peaks hinted at his already receding hairline; but far from detracting from his appearance, Sheila thought it added to his rugged good looks.

So far, Murdock also came across as a very nice guy, attentive, and almost gentlemanly. Face, on the other hand, was already groping Vi.

Taking a deep breath, Sheila decided she shouldn’t judge the lieutenant based on how he was with Vi. They apparently knew each other, and anyone who knew Vi, knew she was definitely all for free love – particularly of the physical type.

She felt a breeze between her legs and shivered. What had possessed her to allow Viola to dress her up like a Barbie doll? She should have stuck with her own clothes – at least then she would have been dressed comfortably. As it was, everything about the situation was uncomfortable. Picking up the whiskey, Sheila shot it.

The amused expression on Murdock’s face caused her to flush as she set down the empty glass. Or was it the booze? Yeah, it had to be the booze.

“Want another?”

Hesitating briefly, she finally nodded. “If you don’t mind... maybe a double?”

“You’re the boss. I’ll be right back.” He picked up her glass and headed back to the bar.

Watching as he made his way through the gathering crowd, her cheeks warmed further. He was tall and wiry, and moved with an awkward grace that she found fascinating. Actually, after reviewing his file in preparation for this assignment, she found pretty much everything about him fascinating, from his education at the Air Force Academy to his recruitment by the CIA to his apparent fearlessness in the air.

In short order he was back, carrying another whiskey for her and a couple beers for himself and Face.

Smiling her thanks, this time she took just a sip before setting the drink back down.

“So, HM… um, can I call you HM? Murdock just seems kind of impersonal.”

“HM’s what my granddad always called me. Feel free.”

“Where are you from in Texas?”

“Born in Abilene, ended up just outside of Spur. How ‘bout you?”

“Well, I was born in Houston. But I only lived there a few years before Mom moved us to Chicago.”

“Chicago, huh? That would explain the Midwest accent – or rather lack of accent.”

“Yeah, I don’t even really remember Texas. I was only five when we moved.”

“So you’re from Chi-town, huh? Big city girl. Shy from Chi-town.”

He grinned at her and Sheila couldn’t help but respond in kind. His smile was infectious, and he had an easiness about him that helped settle her nerves. Unfortunately, Face and Vi had the exact opposite effect. They had already moved close, kissing and fondling, and she felt herself growing nervous again, wondering what HM might expect. Her resolve to nurse her second drink disappeared and she picked it up and emptied it.

“You better slow down, Shy, or I’m gonna be carryin’ ya outta here.”

A heat wave flashed through her at the thought. “I guess I’m just a little nervous.”

“About what?”

Her gaze strayed to Vi and Face before meeting HM’s warm, brown eyes. “I haven’t really dated much.”

At least that was the truth. Unlike her name, or even her birthplace. She wasn’t sure she had been fully prepared for her first undercover assignment. She couldn’t help feeling guilty for lying to a guy that seemed as nice as HM. She shook herself mentally and resolved to follow through. It was her first job and she couldn’t afford to screw it up. Her supervisors were just looking for an excuse to send her packing, and she would be damned if she was going to give them one.

mmm

Murdock rubbed the back of his neck, glad he had gotten at least a couple hours of sleep before meeting the girls at the bar. He was definitely more alert now.

He gazed at Sheila curiously. She had a smile that could light up a room, and blue eyes that he knew he could get lost in. But he didn’t know what to make of her. Sensing an underlying confidence that he admired, it seemed odd that she was so outwardly nervous.

Maybe it was just lack of experience with dating, like she said. He didn’t want her to think he expected anything, but Vi and Face making out like a couple of horny toads next to him probably wasn’t helping her unease.

He jabbed an elbow into Face’s rib cage and smiled in satisfaction at the grunt he elicited. “Don’t pay attention to them, Shy. They just don’t have any manners, that’s all.”

Face came up for air and cast an annoyed glance at him. “What?”

Murdock looked at his friend meaningfully. “We came here to get to know each other, right, Faceman?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Get to know each other.” He grinned suggestively at Vi, who giggled. Then he turned and mouthed, ‘biblically’ to Murdock.

Rolling his eyes, Murdock latched onto the first topic he could think of that might get Shy to relax. “Hey, Shy said she grew up in Chicago. Maybe she knows the big guy?”

“There’s gotta be a hundred thousand people in Chicago, Murdock. Chances that she knows BA are pretty slim.”

“Who’s BA?” Shy asked.

“He’s a big, angry, mudsucking Chi-town boy with a bad attitude,” Murdock said.

“Only when you call him a big, angry mudsucker,” Face said. “Sergeant BA Baracus is our slightly acrophobic communications specialist. I think he’s from east Chicago. What part did you say you come from, Sheila?”

“Here and there. Mom and I never stayed anywhere more than a couple years.” Shy’s smile seemed self-conscious as she added, “To be honest, I’m mostly familiar with the rougher parts of Chicago.”

Murdock grunted in amusement. “Rough would describe BA.”

“He is a little rough around the edges.” Face chuckled.

“And in between.” Murdock grinned. “BA’s really just a big ol’ pussycat... in angry mudsucker clothing.”

Shy looked at Murdock curiously. “I thought you were in Aviation, but it sounds like you’re in Face’s Special Forces unit. I’m confused.”

Shrugging in answer, Murdock chose not to answer her question. Though he felt comfortable with the team, he wasn’t really a part of the unit. It was a reality that was wearing on him right now.

“Technically speaking, Murdock is in Aviation, but we all consider him part of the team.” Face clapped him on the shoulder.

That put a smile on Murdock’s face. “’Cept maybe the great Baracan one.”

“BA just associates you with flying, and you know how much he likes that,” Face said.

Murdock caught his friend’s eye and they both laughed.

“Sounds like you guys spend a lot of time together,” Sheila said, head tilted to the side, gaze curious.

“Well, he may not be an official part of the team,” Face said. “But he gets to bunk with us so Colonel Smith always knows where to find him.”

“Somehow I don’t think it would matter where I bunked, Hannibal could find me. I do feel pretty lucky to have roomies like Face, BA, Gravy and Ray. Couldn’t ask for a more dysfunctional group of o’ guys.” Murdock smirked.

“We resemble that remark,” Face said with a snort. “No denying you fit right in, _Howlin’ Mad.”_

Shy’s eyebrows hovered over dancing blue eyes. “Howlin’ Mad, huh? Any wonder Sergeant Baracus is slightly acrophobic?”

“Yeah, well, I might contribute to that phobia just a little bit.” Murdock held his index finger and thumb about an inch apart, then widened them until he was holding his hands apart a few feet. He was elated when Sheila laughed with him.

Smacking his hands down, Face glanced across him to Sheila.

“So, Sheila, how’d a nice girl like you end up in a cesspool like Vietnam?”

Sheila shrugged and then flashed a teasing smile at him. “The scenery?”

“Oh, ha ha. You spend 24/7 with a bunch of sweaty guys and see if you don’t consider a couple of beautiful women nice scenery.”

Vi raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know, 24/7 with a bunch of sweaty guys sounds pretty damn good to me. What do you think, Sheila?”

“More your scene, Vi. I prefer limiting myself to one guy.”

She glanced at him and Murdock smiled as her cheeks colored.

Unsure whether it was the two drinks or the easy banter, Murdock was just glad to find that the ice seemed to be broken with Shy. She had a quick, cutting wit that he enjoyed. However, as the light conversation continued, it became increasingly apparent that Viola was growing impatient with the small talk.

Vi leaned in and whispered in Face’s ear. Tensing, Face turned to Murdock, who knew he was sending some kind of message with the look he threw at him. Unfortunately, Murdock wasn’t catching the drift. Maybe he hadn’t gotten enough sleep, after all.

Obviously exasperated, Face stood up and held a hand out to Sheila. “Would you like to dance, Sheila?”

The surprised look on her face was hardly a ‘yes’ but Face didn’t seem to care. Grabbing her hand, he dragged her onto the dance floor. Had Face wanted him to ask Sheila to dance? Why the hell hadn’t he just said so?

Tearing his gaze from Face’s fondling hands on _his_ date’s nicely-shaped ass, he looked up to find Face staring directly at him with a challenging smile. Murdock pressed his lips into a thin, disapproving line.

A few seconds later, Murdock had to bite back a guffaw when the smug look on his friend’s face turned to shock. Shy had taken his hands off her butt and placed them back on her waist. She tugged down on her skirt in modesty before putting her hands back on Face’s shoulders.

He had just decided to go cut in, when Vi’s fingers closed around his arm. “C’mon, flyboy, let’s show them how to do it right.”

Like Face, Vi didn’t wait for a response, but dragged him onto the dance floor. Once there, she moved close, snaking her arms around his shoulders.

When Murdock put his hands at her waist, Vi shook her head. “I said we should show them how to do it right, flyboy.”

“Huh?”

With an amused snort she moved his hands deliberately to her ass. She then slid hers around his waist and into his back pockets, kneading his butt as she pulled him hard against her.

She stretched up and placed her cheek against his, her voice a seductive whisper. “Feel free to roam lower, Murdock. I’m not wearing any panties so it’s easy access.”

He felt her tongue slide along his jaw line, as comprehension dawned.

Profound relief flooded through Murdock a moment later as Face put a hand on his shoulder and leaned between him and Vi.

“You made your point. Trade?”

Unable to tell if Face was talking to him or Viola, Murdock decided he didn’t really care. He was eternally grateful that Face took Viola and left him with Shy.

With a happy sigh, Murdock smiled at the petite woman now standing in front of him. “Do you still want to dance?”

After glancing over at Face and Vi, already heavily engaged on the dance floor, she took a bracing breath and offered him a thin smile in return.

“Sure, why not?”

She moved closer to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. Murdock reached up and took one of her hands in his, placing his other carefully at her waist. They moved slowly to the music.

“I promise to keep my hands where you can see them.”

Sheila looked up from watching her feet. Her teasing smile caught him off-guard, as did her needling response.

“Like you did with Vi?”

He wasn’t prepared for the dig, and began stammering, “I didn’t... it was not... Vi put my hands –”

“I know, I saw. You should have seen your expression.” Her smile broadened.

His face felt hot and she seemed to be enjoying his discomfort a little too much. Unaccustomed to being teased, particularly by a girl he thought was quiet and shy, Murdock decided on a little shock therapy of his own.

“For your information, that expression was not from having my hands placed on Vi’s butt.”

“Really? Then tell me, Captain, what was it?” The teasing smile still lingered on her full mouth and he found it captivating.

Leaning down so his lips brushed her ear, he inhaled the pleasant scent of lavender. He smiled when he felt her shiver as he admitted, “I was a little shocked when she told me she wasn’t wearing any panties.”

He pulled back as laughter bubbled out of Shy’s lips, which she had pressed together in a hopeless attempt to contain her amusement.

Joining her, they both dissolved in hilarity to curious glances from nearby couples.

“I imagine it was pretty funny. And truth be told, I was _more_ than a little shocked.” He cocked an eyebrow at her, and leaned in to ask quietly, “You are wearing underwear, right?”

She chuckled and shook her head, ‘no’ but said, “I never leave home without them.”

He straightened. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that.”

“Truth is, I think Vi kind of gets off on shocking people. She shocks me every chance she gets. Maybe that’s why I recognized the expression.”

They slipped into a comfortable silence, moving across the slowly-filling dance floor easily. But after less than a minute of effortless dancing, her feet began to get tangled with his and her gaze dropped to the floor again. When she was talking to him and not thinking about it she did fine. But when she started to concentrate it seemed to throw her off.

He pulled in their joined hands and put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “Relax and let me lead you.”

She pressed her lips together. “I’ve never been very good at that.”

“Relaxing or allowing yourself to be led?”

Sheila tensed as she stepped on his foot again. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been good at slow dancing and I haven’t had a lot of practice. Mom tried to teach me but even she gave up. And she was one of the most patient people in the world.”

“I only use the bottoms of my feet, you’re welcome to the tops. Really, it’s ok. I hardly notice.”

A rueful smile spread across her face. “You really are a nice guy, aren’t you?”

Unsure how to respond to that, it didn’t help that he could swear she sounded almost disappointed. He shook off the discordant impression as the tempo of the music picked up. They laughed their way through several faster songs in series before the music slowed again and he drew her back into his arms.

She sighed. “Are you prepared for another foot-trampling?”

“Your problem is that you think about it too much. You need to lighten up and just move to the music.”

Pulling her closer, he was pleasantly surprised by how well she fit against him even with the difference in their height. He let go of her hand and laced his fingers together at the small of her back.

She tensed and he looked down at her. “I promise, no lower.”

“I hope you don’t think I’m a prude. I’m just –”

“Don’t worry about it, Shy. All I want is to get to know you, have a little fun – you know, the clean kind. I’m not expecting anything else.” _Hoping, maybe, but not expecting._

She relaxed, her hands resting on his shoulders. He pulled her closer, nestling her head into the curve of his neck. Her mop of honey-colored hair tickled his nose with the scent of lavender, overwhelming the stale-beer odor of the bar. He let his eyes close.

“Just relax.”

Her head came to rest against his shoulder and he smiled. He could stay right here the rest of the evening and be content.

mmm

Viola slipped her hand into Face’s crotch and smiled at the rock-hard erection she found there. “Oh, baby, I want that between my legs in the worst kind of way.”

Face winked at her. “Eventually.”

Vi felt a shiver slip up her spine at the seductive look in his eyes. She could feel wetness between her legs in anticipation of the night to come. They had returned to their table in the rear corner of the bar, where the light was dim, and they had a wall at their back. Murdock and Sheila were still out on the dance floor, and their empty chairs shielded the antics under the table, not that anyone was looking. There were other couples similarly engaged at other tables, and for the most part, they were just ignored.

She licked her lips and leaned in to kiss him again, pushing her tongue into his mouth and savoring the taste, a pleasant combination of beer and mint. Deftly, she unbuttoned his pants and slipped her hand inside, allowing her fingers to glide along his hard shaft to its base.

She fondled his balls lightly, then traced a throbbing vein up to the tip. There she slid a finger along the slit that would pulse his juices into her, before tracing the edge of the head. His only response was to bruise her lips, his tongue probing deep into her mouth, pushing in and out in a steady rhythm. She wrapped her hand around him, matching his rhythm with her own.

Face pulled back and stilled her hand, his voice husky. “Alright, we need to slow down a little.”

“I don’t want to slow down,” Vi murmured, though she did let him go to slip her hand up along the hard planes of his stomach. She was horny enough to do it in the bar. Wasn’t that why she hadn’t worn any underwear? “Indulge me, Temp.”

His eyebrows went up. “Here?”

She moved closer to him, and freed his penis from his underwear. She glanced down and smiled at his readiness, then leaned in and put her lips against his ear. “Just slouch down and lean back, I’ll do the rest.”

He complied. She shifted to his lap and locked lips on his again, stroking him until his cock was bucking in her hands. His hand slid between her legs and his fingers found the most sensitive part of her, sliding along her clitoris into her vagina in a rhythm that made her want to scream.

In a nimble movement, she turned her back to him slightly, and shifted so she could lower herself over him. She bit back a groan as she felt the length of his hardness enter her. She was so close her breath was coming in little gasps that Face echoed.

Turning her head, she looked into his blue eyes, and the smoldering fire there only served to take her closer to the edge. A smile curved his lips and Vi felt him move inside of her, though there was no outward evidence of it. She gasped in pleasure. His smile widened as she felt it again, and again.

Her lips parted as the pace of the movement increased and Face’s fingers once again found her clit. One stroke was all it took to send her over the edge and each additional stroke only served to heighten the orgasm. She felt his lips against her ear, “shhhhh,” even as she felt his own release pulsing into her. Clamping down on her lip was the only way to keep herself from crying out in the middle of the bar.

The orgasm faded to a pleasant tingling feeling throughout her body. As his spent member slip out of her, Vi turned to wrap her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder.

“How was that for dangerous sex?” She cooed into his ear.

“Incredible, Vi. But then you always were. We’re gonna have to spill a beer in my lap to hide the evidence, though.” An amused smile lit the handsome lieutenant’s face.

Leaning in, she smiled seductively and then gave him a long, deep kiss before asking, “Think you might be up for an encore in a little bit?”

Face grinned at her and glanced down. “What do you think?”

She followed his gaze and smiled appreciatively at his already hardening cock. It was definitely going to be a good night.

mmm

Murdock and Shy stayed out on the dance floor for a long time, even though, or maybe it was because, Vi and Face were back at the table. It was getting crowded and Murdock really wanted to leave. A glance over at the other couple told him they were engaged in some heavy petting.

Shy finally seemed at ease. He hated to put her back on edge by joining Face and Vi. They probably wouldn’t welcome the intrusion, anyway.

Motioning toward the door, he had to shout to make himself heard, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like interrupting those two and it’s getting loud in here. What do you say to a walk on the beach?”

She nodded and he took her hand to lead her out of the bar. Once outside they both sighed in relief.

“The noise in there was starting to give me a headache,” Sheila said, rubbing her temples.

“Yeah, hard to hold a conversation over the roar. Kinda hard to breathe for all the smoke, too.” He watched as she tugged at the bottom of her skirt again. “Would you like to change into something more comfortable?”

Her eyebrows flew up. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

He fell into step beside her as she made a bee-line for her quarters.

“Well, I had on jeans and a shirt, but Vi said you’d like this better.”

“I’m not complaining,” Murdock said with a grin. “I mean, you look real nice. But it’s just the wrapping.”

They had arrived at her quarters. With a quick wave, she ducked inside, saying, “I’ll just be a minute.”

When Shy came back out, Murdock felt his jaw drop. The jeans fit her snugly and she had on a light blue tank top that left her shoulders nearly bare and scooped low enough to reveal the swell of her breasts. If anything, he liked it better than what she had on before.

He realized that he was staring and cleared his throat as he looked away, motioning toward the beach. “Uh, ready for that walk?”

“Sounds great,” she said with a warm smile.

Looking into her eyes, he felt his lips turn up in response. He took her hand.

“Well, Shy, now that you’re comfy, why don’t you tell me about Chi-town. I’ve never been there before...”

mmm

They spent the next couple hours wandering up and down the beach, talking about everything and nothing. It was overcast and humid, but the breeze blowing in off the bay was pleasant.

When he asked if it was ok that he called her ‘Shy’ she nearly laughed out loud. It was far closer to her real name than Sheila and she actually kind of liked it. It certainly made it easier to pretend that this was just what it appeared to be, a pleasant evening with a nice guy.

He talked about his childhood in Abilene, with his mother and usually-absent father, who at some point decided to leave for good. Though his father’s abandonment didn’t seem to bother him, the loss of his mother to cancer was another story. It hit Sheila especially hard and she found herself opening up to him about her own mother’s lengthy battle with cancer, ending just a few months ago with her death. She was glad that her cover story was close enough to real life that her honesty didn’t blow it.

It was really embarrassing when her control slipped and she started to cry. HM had wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders, which only served to make it worse. Having allowed herself very little time to grieve, his understanding behavior made it difficult to get her emotions back under control.

She brushed angrily at her wet cheeks and chanced a look up at him. His face reflected a profound sadness as he gazed out toward the ocean. The mournful sound of the waves seemed to suit HM’s mood, and hers.

Putting a hand on his arm, she asked, “Are you ok?”

The smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m fine, sugar. How ‘bout you?”

The endearment ‘sugar’ caught her off guard and she felt a little thrill at it. Then she scolded herself. This wasn’t real, none of it. She was allowing herself to get too comfortable. Maybe now would be a good time to steer the conversation where she needed it to go.

“I think it kind of helped talking about Mom. For the most part I’ve just tried to numb myself to the pain of losing her. Vi doesn’t understand why I go to the bar alone to drink. For her it’s a social event, to me, it’s... I don’t know, I guess it’s kind of self-medication.”

He nodded, thoughtful. “Yeah, sometimes it seems easier to drown your sorrows than face them. Been there, done that.”

“Yeah. Only after a while it stops working.”

“Been there, too.”

“I thought about giving weed a try – seems to be pretty easy to come by around here.”

Murdock’s jaw clenched. “Don’t go there, Shy. In the end, none of it works, and eventually you’re forced to face it anyway. Best to get it over and done with and move on.”

“Speaking from experience again?”

His expression was self-loathing. “Experienced, that’s me. Booze, weed, drugs... none of it works forever.” He stopped and turned to face her. “Trust me, Shy. It’s best to steer clear of the whole scene and just deal. It’ll save you a lot of grief later.”

“I guess that’s good advice.”

He grinned. “It’s excellent advice, though not entirely unselfish. I offer my shoulder for you to cry on any time you need it. A good cry on a friend’s shoulder is worth all the weed in ‘Nam – and there’s one hell of a lot of weed around here.”

“Where?”

“I told you, not my scene anymore.” Murdock took her hand and started walking again. “C’mon, let’s see if we can find a more upbeat topic to discuss. You know, like prostitution or something.”

“You have a warped sense of humor, you know that?”

“Does that bother you?” he asked.

“Actually, I kind of like it.”

For the first time in several minutes a sincere smile lit his face. “I kind of like you.”

Cheeks flaming, Sheila decided it was safest to start a whole new, unrelated topic. “How about you tell me about your grandparents’ farm. Sounded like a cool place to grow up...”

mmm

It was late when Murdock finally walked Shy back to her quarters. As they reached the door, he turned a warm smile on her.

“I had a great time tonight, Shy. I hate like hell to cut the evening short, but I got an early flight in the morning.”

“You don’t need to apologize. It’s past my bedtime anyway. And honestly, HM, you really look like you could use some sleep.”

He hesitated and she found herself anticipating the kiss good night. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment when he spoke instead.

“What are you doing tomorrow afternoon, Shy?”

With a shrug she said. “The show, but once it’s over, I should be done – probably sometime mid-afternoon.”

“It’s supposed to be pretty nice tomorrow. How’d you like to go for a swim with me?”

Her heart gave an unbidden flutter at the thought of Murdock in a swimsuit. _Get a grip,_ she told herself sternly.

“That sounds like fun.”

His face broke into a broad smile. “Great! I’ll, uh, I’ll see ya after the show then. Meet you here, at your quarters?”

“Sure.”

He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. Warm, brown eyes searched hers as he pulled away, his voice low and seductive. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, sugar.”

She smiled and echoed, “Tomorrow.”

His smile widened as he stepped back slowly, burying his hands deep in his pockets. “Yeah, I’ll be looking forward to tomorrow all night.”

With a final wink, he turned and walked away, whistling. She recognized Steve Lawrence’s ‘Pretty Blue Eyes’ and her heart threatened to gallop straight out of her chest.

She stared after him, consciously regulating her breathing and kicking herself for allowing a whistled tune to affect her like that. Once he turned the corner out of sight, she hurried into the tent and dropped onto her bed disconsolately.

Becoming friends with HM had been much easier than she’d anticipated. Unfortunately, going into this she hadn’t realized that getting too friendly could become a problem.

When he was close it was easy to forget that she had a job to do – and that that job involved investigating _his_ involvement in drug running. In fact, the feelings Sheila was developing for the man were already affecting her impartiality. That could not be allowed to continue.

Worrying about how to stop her uncooperative heart from betraying her further kept Sheila up for quite a while.


	3. Back on Task

The door to their quarters opened and Sheila watched Vi slip in, dress hanging off one shoulder and boots slung over her arm. Sheila glanced at the clock: 4:12 am.

“Did you have fun?” she asked.

Vi jumped and dropped her boots. “Jesus H. Christ, Sheila. You scared the shit outta me.” She flipped on the light. “When did you get back?”

“A lot earlier than you.”

Vi’s dress dropped to the floor and she stood there buck naked with her hands on her hips.

“Well, I can see that. Already home and in bed. Was the pilot that much of a dud? I thought for sure you’d have a great time with him...”

“I did have a nice time with him. But he has a flight in the early morning and hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep for the last couple days, so he wanted to turn in.”

Vi skirted the bed and sat down on the edge of her bunk facing Sheila. “So, how was he?”

“He’s a really nice guy. Sweet, intelligent, considerate.”

“And...”

“And...” Sheila shrugged. “We had a good time. We took a long walk on the beach and got to know each other. Did you know he graduated first in his class from the Air Force Academy, and was offered a commission in the Thunderbirds as a first lieutenant – would have been the youngest member ever in the group if he’d taken it...” Sheila let her account trail off at the bemused look on Vi’s face. “That’s not what you mean, is it?”

“Fascinating as it is, no, sweetheart. I was kind of hoping for some details on his talents, you know, sexually. I’m sure he has talent.”

“Well, we didn’t...”

Vi gaped at her. “You didn’t have sex with him? Long, romantic walk on the beach and you didn’t jump his bone? Oh, and I’m betting he had a lovely boner. What is wrong with you?”

Sheila hesitated. “It was our first date.”

“Honey, in this place your first date could be your last. You don’t waste opportunities like that. Hell, if I’d known you were gonna turn him down, I would have taken him on myself. Heaven knows he worked me up enough on the dance floor.”

“Huh?”

Sheila was stuck on Vi’s initial statement, trying to wrap her head around what it meant. Having been in country for only a month she was still adjusting to the constant threat that the war presented. In the USO, all she had seen so far were the results of that war, but as her mind wandered back through the infirmary visits for the last few weeks it dawned on her that Vi was right. All it took was one artillery hit in the right place and Murdock could be lying next to his already wounded comrades. Or worse, he could not come back at all.

Vi’s voice shook her out of her grim thoughts. “Oh, I could just imagine him slipping those long fingers between my legs. Heavens but he has nice hands. I cannot believe you turned that down.”

“I didn’t turn anything down,” Sheila said defensively – though she wasn’t sure why she was feeling defensive.

“Oh, you mean he didn’t...”

Sheila shook her head.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Vi’s brows knitted. “Maybe he’s a Wally? No, no way he doesn’t like girls. Hm... oh, that’s alright, sweetie, we’ll find you another guy tomorrow.”

“What? No, Vi. HM asked me to go swimming with him after the show tomorrow.”

Vi’s eyebrows catapulted into her hairline. “He asked you on another date? When you didn’t put out on the first? Maybe Face is right. Murdock must be one of those throwback men that likes to court a woman before boinking her.”

Sheila took a deep breath and held her tongue. She liked Vi, but her nymphomaniac bent was a little hard to get used to.

“I guess maybe you and Murdock are suited for one another. Probably also means he’s an old-fashioned guy, like Face said. And I already knew you were an old-fashioned gal. Guess that means a foursome is out of the question.”

It was Sheila’s turn to gape and Vi’s tinkling laughter answered her expression.

“Oh pick your jaw up off the floor, sweetie. Maybe if we ever get those panties of yours unbunched we’ll just have to give it a try. You might find you like it.” Vi slipped under the sheet on her bed and turned the lights out. “Let me give you a little teaser of what you might expect from our handsome lieutenant...”

Sheila rolled over and closed her eyes. Another night of being regaled with Vi’s sexual escapades.

She’d never be able to look at Face the same way again.

mmm

By the time morning rolled around, Sheila had mentally reviewed everything she had learned about Murdock. She picked apart the more pertinent parts of their conversation, looking for hints to his possible involvement in drug smuggling. His responses led her to believe he might have been involved at one time, but it certainly didn’t sound like he was any longer.

Based on what he had said about his work schedule, it also didn’t sound like he had time to do anything but work. But since she only had Murdock’s own assertion that he had been on the duty roster a lot lately, she decided that she needed to check it out. She knew from their talk the night before that he essentially reported to two COs, which meant he could possibly be on two duty rosters – she would have to check both.

Doing her job had the benefit of allowing her to avoid paying too much attention to Vi, though it was impossible to totally tune her out. The woman should write smut books. Sheila hated to admit it, but it made her horny and frustrated to listen to her.

After breakfast, Shy managed to get assigned to the group handing out boxes near the SF command post, which she knew might present a bit of a problem since security clearance was required to enter. She hoped a refreshment break with feigned ignorance about the entry requirements would get her the in she needed.

Detouring to allow the opportunity to wander past the Aviation group command post, she checked the duty roster there on her way to the USO tent. Sure enough, Murdock had been on the roster for most of the last three weeks for at least one shift. Some days he had even pulled a double. She was surprised to see he was penciled in for the late afternoon shift today. That would put a crimp in their swimming plans.

Done with half of her self-imposed chore, she made her way to the USO tent to help load the boxes they would be handing out later that morning. Willie Leighton was directing the work and Sheila was careful to find a spot near the end of the loading line, farthest away from him.

Willie was a stick-thin, thirty-something guy who worked behind the scenes on the tour, making sure everyone had what they needed to carry out the troop support work. Though his work sounded noble, the man himself gave Sheila the creeps. Viola had warned her the first day to stay away from Willie and she was more than happy to oblige.

Unfortunately, Willie apparently had other ideas. He cornered Sheila when she went back in the tent to pick up the flyers they were supposed to hand out with the boxes.

“Sheila Downey. Yer new.”

She smiled at him. “Yes, I just joined the tour down in Saigon.” Motioning outside, she added. “I really have to get going. We’re supposed to start passing the care packages out in an hour and we still have to get set up.”

“You got time, baby, just slow down. I been meanin’ to talk to you.”

_‘Baby?’_ The familiarity of that made her skin crawl. Willie hadn’t given her the time of day since she joined the tour. What was prompting the sudden change? As much as she wanted to escape the man’s presence, she forced herself to turn back and talk to him.

“To me?”

“Yeah, you,” Willie said. “You been hanging out with that dinky dau pilot, Lieutenant Murdock.”

“Captain Murdock,” Sheila corrected.

“Lieutenant, Captain, don’t make no difference, he’s still nuts.”

Well this was interesting – Willie knew Murdock.

“How do you know him?”

Willie smirked, exposing nicotine-yellowed teeth. “He came to Da Nang while I was working up there. Kid’s certifiable. You seem like a nice girl. Gotta be careful who you hang out with.”

Sheila adopted an innocent attitude. “Well, gee, he’s been real nice. What do you know different?”

“Got his peter pilot killed during a routine dust-off not long after he first got to Da Nang. And I know for a fact he was involved in some real shady deals at Da Nang. –”

“What kind of shady deals?”

“The kind that can get a man in a lot of trouble with a lot of powerful people. You don’t wanna get caught up in that, baby.”

 “What people? I mean, come on, Willie, this sounds like a bunch of rumors to me.”

One step forward put Willie within foot of her and Sheila had to brace herself to keep from flinching or moving away. His breath shrouded her in the unpleasant smell of stale booze and nicotine as he talked.

“Listen, baby, you need to just trust me. Murdock ain’t somebody you want to be associated with. I’m tellin’ ya, he’s trouble.”

Willie was being purposely vague. Sheila wondered why, but she feared prodding much more would make him suspicious. It probably wouldn’t do her any good anyway.

“I’ll be careful,” she said.

“You do that, baby.”

Forcing her lips into a smile, Shy said, “Thanks for the heads up, Willie.”

Sheila raised a hand to wave goodbye as she turned and hurried out of the tent. She remembered seeing in Murdock’s file about losing a peter pilot. In fact, as she recalled, he had been hit himself, but managed to get the chopper back to base with the peter pilot the only casualty. It wasn’t like it was unusual for chopper pilots to sustain injury during an ambush, routine dust-off or not. But maybe there was more to it?

And what did Willie mean by shady deals? Drug deals? Perhaps she should chance a call to her supervisor. Quinn might have more information about what went on with Murdock at Da   Nang. His official record was surprisingly lean on his activities at the front-line camp, and there had been no indication of involvement in anything blatantly criminal. He was reckless; had a definite disregard for authority. But there had been nothing outright illegal about any of it.

Of course, it was his ‘official’ record. There had to be indication of illicit activity somewhere – some compelling reason there was individual interest in the pilot.

But if so, why hadn’t she been told about it?

mmm

Distributing the care packages was a lot of fun, but Sheila was preoccupied by her encounter with Willie. She and Vi worked with several of the other girls, taking time to talk with the soldiers who came to pick them up. It took far more time than she’d anticipated. During a mid-morning lull, she leaned in to Vi and told her she was taking a quick break.

Shy made for the SF command post and managed to duck inside without anyone seeing her, through a door that was propped open. Aside from the clicking of typewriters and murmur of voices from behind closed office doors, the main hall was quiet. She had picked a good time to visit.

Finding Colonel Smith’s Team roster, she compared Murdock’s schedule to the mental image of his aviation duty roster. When he wasn’t on duty for Aviation, he was on duty for SF, with very little down time, at least for the week posted. She had no reason to believe the weeks before that had been much different. It was a strong indicator that he had been telling the truth.

“What the hell are you doing in here, Sheila?”

She jumped and spun around to find Face gaping at her. Widening her eye in surprise, it wasn’t hard to feign innocence.

“Face! I… I was just taking a water break. Then I saw the duty rosters and was curious –”

“Sheila, this building requires security clearance. You shouldn’t be in here.”

“Oh my God, does that mean I’m going to get in trouble?”

“Only if you’re caught. C’mon, let’s get you outta here.”

Face took her by the elbow, but before they could make it to the exit, a man rounded the corner up ahead of them. Muttering ‘shit’ under his breath, he opened the nearest door and shoved Sheila into what amounted to a closet. He put a finger to his lips before closing the door on her. A minute later she heard Face address the man.

“Colonel Morrison, sir.”

“At ease, Peck. Which briefing room are we in?”

“Right here, sir. Colonel Smith is already in there.”

“Are Captain Murdock and SA Lewis back yet?”

“Yes, sir. They just got back from the recon flight. I was told they’d be in shortly.”

“Very good. Let Smith know I’m on my way. I want to check in with the corporal before we get started.”

“Yes, sir.”

Sheila let out a pent up breath when she heard a door open and close, heralding the colonel’s exit. The closet opened. Face motioned her out and ran her down the hall to the door, pushing her out and coming through with her.

“That was close.”

“Thanks, Face. I’m sorry about that.”

“Pay closer attention to the signs, Sheila. You can’t be going into secured locations.”

“I will, I promise.”

He smiled at her. “It’s alright. There are signs everywhere around here. A lot of people don’t see them. Just be more careful.”

Sheila took a deep breath, her heart rate finally returning to normal. “You and HM are still coming to the show this afternoon, right?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there with bells on!” He motioned behind her. “Here’s Murdock now.”

The sight of Murdock striding toward them with his flight suit unzipped to reveal his chest, made her heart race again. She had to consciously drag her eyes up to his face.

His expressive brown eyes were tight and stormy – until he saw her. The broad smile that broke across his handsome face lifted her own spirits considerably as he jogged to join them.

“Hey, Shy. This is a nice surprise. Whatcha doin’ over here?”

She motioned toward the tent where the other girls were still working.

“We’re passing out care packages this morning. After lunch, there’s one last practice before the show this afternoon.” She met his eyes and her entire train of thought derailed. What had she wanted to ask? Oh yeah. “Are we still going swimming later?”

The disappointment in his eyes caused her heart to drop in response even before he told her what she already knew.

“Actually, I think I’m gonna have to cancel on ya, sugar. I was just told I’m on duty for Aviation this afternoon. Maybe we could get together later, after I’m done...” He grimaced. “It probably won’t be until after twenty-two hundred tonight, though.”

“Oh.” The regret that sounded in her voice was genuine.

Taking her hands, he said, “I’m sorry, Shy. I wish I could get out of it –”

She smiled up at him reassuringly. “Don’t apologize, HM, it’s not your fault. I’ll be in my quarters. When you get off just come get me.”

Murdock’s lips formed a thin line as she released his hands. He sighed heavily, arms dropping to his sides dejectedly.

“Honestly, I’m not real sure how late I’ll be, Shy...”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” she promised with a warm smile.

She placed her hands lightly on his shoulders so she could reach up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. The feel of his hands on her back to steady her made her heart rate kick up again, and the scent of leather mingled with his musk made her head swim.

Everything about being this close to him was tempting her to linger. _Dammit_. Pulling back, her eyes were level with his lips. _Double damn_. Raising her eyes to look into his, she recognized a longing she was sure reflected in her own gaze. She was in big trouble.

“We gotta head in, Murdock.”

Face’s voice broke the spell and she took a hasty step back.

“I’ll see you later, HM,” she murmured breathlessly. “Take care of yourself.”

She turned away from the pilot’s provocative gaze and escaped toward the USO tent.

m

As Face watched his friend’s heated gaze follow the petite show girl, he nearly laughed out loud. But Murdock’s next statement sobered him quickly.

“Damn. I was really looking forward to that swim.”

Peering at the pilot, Face asked, “You did it with her last night, didn’t you?”

The clench of Murdock’s jaw answered the question before he ever uttered, “No.”

Face shook his head in disgust. “I cannot believe you, Murdock. Why not?”

With a shrug, Murdock said, “We’re just gettin’ to know each other, Face. It’s too soon.”

“Too soon? She’s gonna be here for all of three days and it’s too soon to fuck her?”

The glare Murdock shot at him made Face take a reflexive step back.

“You’re pushin’ your luck, Face.”

Face gritted his teeth, facing his friend’s obvious ire with a calm he didn’t really feel. Sometimes Murdock could be a little scary. But he seriously doubted his friend would deck him here at HQ, so he chanced one last dig.

“You’re doing it again, Murdock.”

m

Swinging away from the goading conman, Murdock snapped. “Back the hell off, Lieutenant.”

Face changed the subject hastily. “Did you say you’re pulling another double? Why?”

Shrugging off his anger, Murdock strode toward the building as he explained evenly, “Vickers says he has a couple new pilots due in, but he needs to fill in the schedule until they arrive. I told him I’d help out, but it’s been over three weeks now.”

“You should talk to Hannibal –”

“I’m not bothering the colonel with this.” Murdock still worried that Hannibal would decide he was more trouble than he was worth. “It’s my problem, I’ll deal with it.”

Glancing at his watch as they entered HQ, Face said, “We better get into briefing, anyway. Hannibal’s waiting. Where’s Lewis? I thought he was coming with you.”

“He’s on his way. He’s pissed at me. Should be an interesting briefing.”

“What happened?” Face asked as they stopped just outside the briefing room door.

Murdock shoved balled fists into his pockets.

“I made an extra fly over. Glad I did, too. That insert he selected was crawling with gooks when we took another look. We scouted another LZ that I think is better, but Lewis doesn’t agree because it’s farther from the target. We argued about it all the way back. Don’t know what his hang up is. I’m the fucking pilot.”

“Hannibal will back you up.”

Murdock grunted in irritation. “He shouldn’t have to.”


	4. Getting Serious

It was almost midnight and Murdock practically sleep-walked out of the showers. What he had really wanted to do was just fall into his bunk, but even he couldn’t stand his own stink after nearly eighteen hours on duty. He knew he should get some food, but he hadn’t eaten in so long that he wasn’t even hungry.

Meeting him part way back to the barracks, Face shoved a sandwich into one of his hands and tried to push a large cup of coffee into the other. Murdock shook his head and refused the cup.

“I can’t drink anymore coffee.” Just the thought of it made his stomach churn.

Face refused to take back the sandwich and held the coffee out temptingly.

“You gotta eat. And you might want this. Miss Downey is awaiting your presence.”

Murdock groaned around a bite of the sandwich. “Aw shit, my date with Shy.”

“You promised you’d come get her as soon as you got off, remember?”

Grunting in response, Murdock took another large bite of sandwich. Now that he had started eating, he realized just how hungry he was.

“Too bad you missed the show,” Face said. “Viola actually convinced Shy to sing a song that she wrote. It was really good and it sure did get her noticed. There were a lot of guys hanging around her afterwards, but I managed to hold them off for you. You’ll have to ask for a private performance.”

Other guys hanging around Shy? Another groan escaped his lips. The thought made his blood start a slow boil, but it didn’t change the facts. He swallowed.

“I’m a walking zombie, Faceman. I’m not even sure I could hold a coherent conversation.”

“You can say ‘coherent conversation.’ You’re already one up on most of the grunts around here.” Face flashed him an encouraging smile. “You stood her up once already, Murdock, and she leaves in just a couple days. It’s now or never.”

“Where am I supposed to meet her?”

“You told her you’d come to her quarters. Geez, you really are out of it, aren’t you?”

Murdock shoved the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and chewed a few times. Around the wad of partially-masticated meat and stale bread, he muttered, “Gimme the coffee.”

mmm

Ten minutes later he was knocking on Shy’s door. Viola opened it, wide-awake and grinning.

“’Bout time you showed up, flyboy. I’d have been awful upset with you if you stood her up.” Vi looked over her shoulder. “Shy, get your ass outta bed. He finally showed.”

Murdock wished he was half as awake as Vi.

“I’ll just wait out here.”

“Suit yourself.”

He paced to keep himself alert. It was only a minute later that the door opened and Shy walked out. Thick honey-gold hair tousled, big blue eyes crinkled at the corners by the smile on her full lips, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He could just stare at her for the next couple hours and be happy.

“Glad you could make it,” she teased.

“Sorry I’m so late. We ended up flying ash and trash all evening. We’re running so short on pilots right now that they’re putting guys behind the stick that don’t even make good peter pilots...”

“It’s alright, HM. I know you’re busy.” Concern was evident in her blue eyes. “You look all in. Are you sure you don’t want to get some sleep?”

Even as tired as he was he found her searching gaze incredibly provocative. Moving closer to her, he reached out and took her hand in a caressing grip.

“I’m kinda strung out, but I want to spend some time with you. The schedule doesn’t look like it’s gonna let up any time soon, so this is it.” He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. “Let’s take a walk down at the beach. We’ll find a place to sit and relax.”

Shy hesitated, but only for a moment. “Ok.”

They walked toward the beach in silence, joined hands swinging between them. A breeze blew in off the bay, and he felt her shiver next to him. It was a clear night and the humidity was at an almost-comfortable level. It was hardly cold, but once you got used to the usual heat and humidity, a night like this felt cool. He shrugged out of his jacket and slipped it around her, keeping an arm wrapped firmly about her shoulders as they walked. He smiled when her arm slid around his waist.

Leading her to a place where kids had obviously been digging through the day, Murdock said, “This looks like a good spot.”

He dropped in the slight depression and shimmied until he’d formed himself into the sand, then leaned his head back on the rounded pile there.

“Have to thank those kids – this is perfect.” He held out a hand to Shy. “C’mon, the sand isn’t wet. It’s almost like sittin’ in an easy chair at home.”

She followed his example, eyes drifting shut as she lay back with a contented sigh.

“This is pretty comfy.” Blue eyes opening slowly, Shy gasped when she looked up. “Wow, look at all those stars.”

Murdock tore his eyes away from her to look up. “Yeah. Reminds me of home.”

“I never saw a sky like that in Chicago.”

“Too much ambient light from the city. Never can see the stars real well someplace like…” he yawned uncontrollably before finishing, “…like that.”

He startled awake a few seconds later… or was it a few minutes? Perhaps this was a little too comfortable. If he’d kept walking at least he wouldn’t fall asleep. Maybe if he talked.

“Actually, we picked a good night. There’s a new moon and it’s really clear. This is the best kind of night for star gazing.”

“Mom and I used to go up on the roofs of the apartment buildings sometimes and she would tell me about the constellations. My favorite was the story of Cepheus and Cassiopeia. But I don’t see any constellations I recognize, here.”

“Can’t see Cassiopeia down here. But there’s Chiron, the wisest centaur.”

“I don’t remember Chiron.”

Murdock shrugged. “Most folks call that constellation Saggitarius, Babylon’s God of War. I guess that’s more appropriate to the setting, but I always preferred thinking of it as Chiron.”

“Seems strange to look at the sky and not see the big dipper. It’s the one I could always find back home.”

“Just like Heinlein’s ‘Stranger in a StrangeLand,’” he murmured and met her eyes with a tired smile. He wasn’t sure he was making much sense, but when she smiled back, he decided he didn’t care.

He jerked awake again to find Shy leaning over him, a rueful smile on her face.

“You should go to bed, HM.”

He grinned at her. “Only if you come with me.”

“I am not that kind of girl, Captain Murdock.” But the look on her face was amused, not insulted.

His smile softened. “I didn’t think you were. C’mon, Shy, indulge me. Let me fall asleep next to a beautiful woman.”

She looked around. “Beautiful woman? Where?”

“While I appreciate that you ain’t no Cassiopeia, I know you know who I’m talking about.”

She pointed a finger at herself and gave him a doubtful look. Taking her arm, he pulled her down to his chest.

“Yeah, you. C’mere.”

He buried his face in her mop of hair. The already-familiar scent of her lavender shampoo lulled him into a dream where he lay in a field of lavender with Shy by his side.

mmm

Sheila slipped her arm around his waist and settled against him, her head resting on his chest. His breathing quickly deepened and she sighed. Obviously, she wasn’t getting anywhere on her investigation tonight. He was asleep on his feet before they even got to the beach. He barely found time to sleep; how in the hell could he be running drugs?

Her thoughts began to wander as she listened to the slow thudding of his heart. Everything she had seen of HM Murdock led her to believe he was a nice guy and nice guys were not smugglers.

She knew that was a snap judgment, but the impetuous part of her was hoping that it was correct. It was the pesky, logical part that kept dragging her back to reality. Quinn and Stockwell were never going to accept the ‘he’s a nice guy’ argument as proof that Murdock wasn’t involved in drug running or gun smuggling.

Like it or not, she had to complete her investigation. The thought brought her full circle. She wasn’t getting anywhere with the investigation now – not with him asleep on the beach. And beside, she was so comfortable and warm. Nestling down into his jacket, she let her eyes drifted shut as the scent of leather and HM Murdock surrounded her.

mmm

Murdock opened his eyes and looked up at the purple sky in confusion. There was a pleasant weight on his arm and chest, and he let his eyes drift closed again. Until the voice that had roused him repeated his name, much closer this time.

“Murdock, get up. The colonel is pissed that you weren’t in your bunk.”

A familiar face swam in his sleep-blurred vision.

“What time is it?” he murmured.

It was Face. “Oh-five-hundred. You were supposed to be at the field half an hour ago. Hey Sheila.”

Sitting up, Shy flashed Face an absent hello before looking down at him. “I’m sorry, HM. I must have fallen asleep, too.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry about, sugar.” Ignoring Face, Murdock stared at her, imprinting her image in his brain so he could carry it with him the rest of the day. He thought about how nice it had been to sleep with his arms wrapped around her. Yes, that was an experience worth repeating… again and again.

“Murdock, you gotta move.”

He heaved a sigh and rolled himself to his feet, then held out a hand to Shy. She took it and he pulled her up and into his arms.

“Thanks, Shy. I’ll see ya later.” Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head.

“C’mon, Murdock, we have to go,” Face urged.

Wishing like hell he hadn’t slept through his time with her, he released her reluctantly. But he knew he was just delaying the inevitable and finally turned away resolutely.

She stopped him with a hand on his arm. “HM, don’t forget your coat.”

His leather jacket hung from her hand. Taking it, he wrapped it back around her. He tugged it snugly around her shoulders, letting his thumb trail lightly along her jaw as he pulled his hands back.

“You keep it until I see you later.” He leaned down and brushed her cheek with his lips before turning to stride after Face.

m

The warmth of the chaste kiss surprised her as it radiated out, enveloping her whole body in a soft glow as she watched the pilot walk away. She physically shook herself. While she couldn’t deny the attraction she felt, he was her target. Unfortunately, even reminding herself of that didn’t seem to change her involuntary reaction to him.

mmm

Back at the barracks, Murdock changed into his flight suit. He was just pulling on his boots when Hannibal came slamming through the door, his expression stormy. Grinding his teeth at the sight of his obviously-pissed CO, Murdock managed to stop himself from making a pre-emptive strike. He knew the lack of sleep was making him unusually touchy and he didn’t want to go there. Yet.

“Where the hell have you been, Captain? We were supposed to be in the air by now.”

Murdock finished tying his boot and tucked in the laces with deliberate slowness, trying to get his own temper under control. When he stood up, he managed a nonchalant, if stiff shrug.

“Fell asleep down at the beach.”

Hannibal looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel and Murdock couldn’t help but smirk. As impossible as it seemed, Hannibal’s face turned an even deeper shade of purple. That was Murdock’s first hint that he was pushing his luck. He was surprised to find that at this point in time he didn’t really care. A snort escaped him at the realization.

“You find this amusing, Captain?”

“It’s fucking hilarious. If you’re gonna ream me, Colonel, have at it. If not, I’ll go get the bird ready.”

Hannibal’s jaw worked for several seconds before he jabbed a finger into Murdock’s chest. “When we get back, you and I are going to have a talk, Captain.”

“Gee, I can’t wait.”

Murdock brushed roughly past Hannibal and strode out the door without a backward glance.

m

Face stared after his best friend in shock.

“Lieutenant.” The rage in Hannibal’s voice was barely controlled.

“Yes, sir.”

When Hannibal turned to look at him, his blue eyes seemed icier than usual shining out of a face that was crimson with anger.

“You let your friend know that he better have a damn good explanation for what just happened here.”

Face stared at Hannibal for a moment before his own gaze darkened. Sometimes Hannibal could be a real prick.

“In Murdock’s defense, that was like the first straight four hours of sleep he’s had in about twenty-four hours. And I know his last few weeks have been like that. I think the schedule is making him pissy.”

“No goddam excuse. Besides, Murdock’s duty roster hasn’t been that full...”

“Not for you, maybe.” Face crossed his arms. “If you cared to check, I think you’d find that Vickers has him running ash and trash when he’s not humping for you or sleeping...  and lately sleep seems to be optional.”

“Vickers –”

“Yeah, you know, Murdock’s _official_ CO?” Face knew that would hit a nerve. “You and Vickers are gonna burn him out. And you and I both know Murdock burns a little too bright as it is.”


	5. Forty-eight Hours of Freedom

The op was a success, but Murdock was feeling the effects of the lack of sleep on the flight home. It didn’t help that he’d played an active role in this mission – one that required more than just flying the bird. It was those missions that made him feel most a part of the team. He set down at the field and felt his energy dissipate with the slowing speed of the rotors. They were home.

It was a minute before he gathered the energy to begin post-flight. He looked over at his co-pilot, Kyle Wright. They had found each other during a day of dicey flying, and now, when the team needed a crew, Murdock took over Kyle’s, while the usual AC flew shotgun. That way, it didn’t matter who the peter pilot was. Murdock had his preferred crew nearly any time he flew a mission for the Hannibal’s Alpha Team: Harris, Cahill, and Kyle Wright.

Kyle’s blue-gray eyes were sympathetic. “You look all in, Murdock. Let me wrap this up.”

“Captain Murdock, Captain Wright, sirs?” Corporal Crane stood outside Murdock’s open cockpit door.

Kyle answered for both of them. “What do you need, Corporal?”

“Colonel Vickers asked that you report to his office as soon as you’re done here. He’s short for the afternoon roster, and needs you to fill in –”

“Shit.” Murdock laid his head back and closed his eyes.

“Tell Vickers I’ll be in to see him shortly, Corporal.”

Murdock raised his head to watch as Crane snapped a salute at Colonel Smith, who stood behind him, arms crossed and teeth locked on a smoldering cigar.

“Sir? Colonel Vickers asked to see Captains Murdock and Wright.”

Hannibal stared at the corporal without repeating his command. Crane shifted under the narrow, ice-blue gaze.

“Um, yes, sir, I’ll, uh, I’ll let him know, sir.”

Hannibal watched as Crane scurried away, and then raised his eyes to meet Murdock’s.

He removed his cigar, eyes narrowing as he blew a thin stream of smoke from his lips. “I’ll let Vickers know you _won’t_ be reporting to him,” he said and then jabbed the glowing cigar at Murdock. “However, you and I have some unfinished business, Captain. As soon as you’re finished here, head to my hooch. I’ll be there shortly.”

Turning on his heel, Hannibal strode toward Aviation Command like a man with a purpose.

As soon as his CO was out of earshot Murdock blew out the breath he’d been holding.

Brows furrowed, Kyle asked, “What the hell was that all about?”

“Nothing.” Murdock picked up the clipboard that held the flight paperwork. “I’m just in trouble again. Let’s take our time with this, huh?”

Kyle shook his head and chuckled. “Whatever you say, Murdock.”

mmm

An hour later, Murdock knocked on the door of Hannibal’s quarters. Though he had managed to stretch out the usual post-flight work, eventually Kyle had rebelled. His co-pilot had then enlisted Face, who had told Murdock it was time to face the music.

Hannibal’s ‘enter’ was almost immediate. Murdock took a deep, bracing breath before pushing through the swinging door into the little shack.

He saluted. “Captain Murdock, reporting as ordered, sir.”

Knowing Hannibal didn’t stand on formalities like other COs, Murdock still figured he shouldn’t take any chances. Especially after their confrontation earlier.

Hannibal let him stand at attention for several seconds before growling, “At ease, Captain.”

There was no ‘at ease’ with that icy gaze fixed on him.

Standing from the chair by his desk, Hannibal stepped up in front of Murdock, locking eyes with him.

“Don’t ever let anything like that happen again, Captain.”

Murdock pressed his lips into a thin line. Was that it? Hannibal didn’t even want to hear his side of the story? It might be best not to tell it anyway. He wouldn’t be too happy to know that Murdock was sleeping on the beach with a woman when he was supposed to be prepping the chopper.

“If Vickers ever tries an end-run around me like that again, I expect you to come see me first thing, not wait for weeks for me to notice.”

It took several seconds for the meaning of Hannibal’s words to penetrate Murdock’s sleep-deprived brain, and by then his CO was pacing like a caged cat in front of him.

“As of right now you are on leave,” Hannibal said. “I told Face to get you a pass to Cam Ranh Bay, but he informed me that you would prefer to remain on base – said a young lady from the USO has captured your fancy. Where ever you choose to spend your leave, under no circumstances do I want to see your ass anywhere near the airfield for the next forty-eight hours or I will kick it. Understood?”

With a start Murdock realized that his CO had stopped pacing and was staring at him expectantly.

“Um… yes, sir?”

Hannibal snorted in amusement. “Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir!” Murdock grinned as he turned to walk out of the hooch. Leave – just in time to spend it with Shy.

“One more thing, Captain...”

Stopping at the door, Murdock looked back. “Sir?”

“Have fun, son.”

His grin widened until it felt like it would split his face in two.

“Thanks, Hannibal.”

mmm

Hannibal walked to the door and watched as Murdock loped across the short intervening space to the team barracks. He was going to have to be more observant where that kid was concerned. Murdock had been with his team for almost a year, and still he persisted in his irritatingly independent modus operandi. He refused to ask for help, even when he needed it. If it hadn’t been for the uncharacteristic meltdown this morning, Hannibal wondered how long the kid could have kept up the work pace he and Vickers had unwittingly set for him.

Vickers was proving a bit of a problem where Murdock was concerned, too. He steadfastly refused to allow a transfer. Hannibal knew they were short on pilots, but he had left no doubt in Vickers’ mind today – Murdock was his, whether it was official or not. Any duty assigned to the captain was to come through him. He was going to make some changes to their organizational structure to keep Murdock’s team duty roster a little fuller. That way Vickers couldn’t argue that he was underutilized.

Unfortunately, the change he was contemplating would mean Murdock would have to spend more time with their recon agent, Jeremy Lewis. The two had nearly come to blows over the recon results the previous morning. Hannibal sighed. At least it would mean he, himself didn’t have to spend quite so much time with Lewis. Murdock was younger. He’d just have to suck it up and cope.

mmm

In the barracks, Murdock found Face and Gravy lounging on their bunks. Face grinned at him. “Told you, you wanted to go see Hannibal.”

“Forty-eight heavenly hours and Shy should be here for all of ‘em. Timing is everything, Faceman.” Murdock paced the length of the barracks a couple times, murmuring to himself. Then he stopped at the end of Face’s bed. “I gotta find Shy. Face, do you know where she’s working today? Never mind, I’ll find her.”

He strode out of the barracks without waiting for a response.

Gravy turned to Face, who was staring after his friend. “Wanna wager when ti gason gonna crash?”

Face snorted. “You might be surprised. I swear that guy could live on caffeine and sugar. Besides, I’d wager he’s gonna be real reluctant to waste any of his time with Sheila on something as commonplace as sleep.”

“He got it bad, huh?”

“She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s in audition as his lifetime mate.” Face shook his head, unable to fathom Murdock’s motives.

Gravy snorted. “Howlin’ don’ do nothin’ half assed, do he?”

mmm

Murdock found Vi first, but then, the flamboyant woman was hard to miss. The USO had put up a tent near the stage and several of the performers were gathered there, talking to soldiers and doing some impromptu entertaining.

Vi wiggled her fingers at him, breaking away from the group she was with to meet him in the middle of the tent.

“Hey there, handsome. I thought you were flying this afternoon?”

“Actually, my schedule freed up and I was looking for Shy. Do you know where she is?”

 A wicked smile curved Vi’s lips. “I think she’s up on stage at the piano. You probably couldn’t see her for the throng of men.”

“You are an evil, evil woman, Viola.” Murdock turned and shoved his way out of the tent.

As he neared the stage he could hear the piano playing and a group of male voices rose in _The Star Spangled Banner_. Above the basses and tenors a sweet alto rang out in harmony and Murdock smiled. He hadn’t gotten to see the show yesterday, but he’d still get to hear Shy perform. She was the only person he was really interested in, anyway.

He jumped up on the stage and moved to the back of the group behind the piano. Over the heads of the other men he could see Shy, fingers dancing over piano keys and face flush as she sang the national anthem with at least a dozen men. He joined in, following her on harmony.

mmm

Sheila looked up when she heard another voice join in. A spontaneous smile curved her lips when she saw Murdock. He winked at her and grinned, causing her heart to kick up in involuntary response. As the last line faded, she started the applause and the group joined in.

“That was great. Does anyone have any other requests?”

There were murmurs through the group, but Murdock’s voice carried above them. “I want to hear the song you sang yesterday.”

“How did you...”

Sheila’s protest was drowned out by the chorus of ‘yeah’s that greeted his request. His handsome face was easily visible over the heads of the men in front of him, and since his arrival, Sheila found herself unable to focus on anyone but him.

“Alright, alright. One more time, then that’s it.”

Vague ideas of smacking Viola for roping her into that solo performance flitted through her thoughts. It was Vi who had insisted she sing the song for the stage manager, Dean Steiger, at yesterday’s final rehearsal. They had a set change that was dead space and after hearing it Dean had agreed that the song should be added there as an interlude. That was all it was, just a filler while some things were being moved around up on stage.

The tune was nothing remarkable, inspired by Gershwin’s Lullaby but not nearly as intricately scored. The words to the song had begun as a poem that Sheila had started when she had first moved out on her own to start college at sixteen. She had added onto it when her mom had fallen ill; and again when her mother had passed away, just a few months ago.

The melancholy song was hardly in keeping with the psychedelic flavor of the rest of the show, but to Sheila’s surprise the crowd had reacted enthusiastically. Still, she wondered how Murdock knew about it. He hadn’t even been at the show.

 She played an opening interlude and then sang:

_I keep your smile as a beacon in my heart_

_To carry me through the darkness of life_

_Until I can see you_

_Be home again with you_

_You are my home, my soul, my sanity_

_Away from you I flounder and flail_

_Praying to God not to fail_

_But then I remember_

_Your strength in adversity and…_

_I keep your smile as a beacon in my heart_

_To carry me through the darkness of life_

_Until I can see you_

_Be home again with you_

_I know I must go my own separate way_

_Live my life, following Destiny’s vagaries_

_Never knowing what’s around the bend_

_So until our lives twine together again…_

_I keep your smile as a beacon in my heart_

_To carry me through the darkness of life_

_Until I can see you_

_Be home again with you_

_If you get tired and the angels call you home_

_Know that you will forever live inside of me_

_From this life, into the next_

_I will always…_

_Keep your smile as a beacon in my heart_

_To carry me through the darkness of life without you_

_Until I can join you_

_Come home again to you_

_Forever with you_

m

Murdock swallowed. The song had a haunting quality about it, hopeful but sad, and every man standing around the piano was impacted by it on some level. Seeing the glisten of tears in Shy’s wide, blue eyes, he wondered what the song meant to her. He clapped, slow and loud, and was quickly joined by the others.

Smiling her thanks, Shy said, “I think I’m about done for the day, guys. Thanks for hanging around. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Murdock hung back as the men dispersed. A few stopped to offer personal thanks for her time.

One of the last hangers-on took her hand in both of his. “Hi, Sheila, I’m Jim. I just wanted to say, that song is really incredible. I mean, it’s one of those that grabs you right by the heart strings and holds on.”

“Thank you, Jim. That’s really nice of you to say.”

Maintaining his grip on her hand, Jim leaned closer to her.

“I was just wondering, you know, if you weren’t doing anything later… I thought maybe we could get a drink, or maybe just take a walk –”

Murdock reached Shy’s side. “She’s busy.”

“I was here first, man.”

With a warm smile, Sheila squeezed Jim’s hands before extracting hers.

“I really can’t, Jim. But thanks for the offer.”

“If you change your mind, I’ll be at the bar tonight.” Jim gave Murdock a brief glare before turning on his heel and walking away.

Sheila crossed her arms, looking at Murdock narrowly.

“She’s busy? What the hell was that?”

Murdock shifted uncomfortably. “Well, how do you expect me to react when I find my girl in the middle of a throng of men?”

Her eyes widened. “ _Your_ girl?”

Trying desperately to read Shy’s expression, Murdock back-pedaled, “I, well, maybe that was a little, um, presumptuous...”

Shy’s gaze remained indecipherable. “I wasn’t going to go out with him.”

“Even if I hadn’t been here?” He could have kicked himself. Why was he pushing this?

“Even if you hadn’t been here. I thought you had duty this afternoon?”

Reminded why he had been so anxious to find her, Murdock grabbed her hand and flashed her a wide smile.

“I’m on leave. Forty-eight hours starting now and I was hoping that you would be able to, um… would _want_ to spend some of it with me.” He ended haltingly, unsure of her reaction, especially after the last couple minutes.

The slight smile that curved her lips made his heart take to the sky. “I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do, though I do have a few USO commitments...”

“I could help. I don’t really care what we do. I just wanna be with you.”

Her cheeks flamed and his smile widened, then his jaw tensed. He covered his mouth as a huge yawn escaped, refusing to be stifled. That must be why his head was so fuzzy and he was acting weird with Shy. He needed caffeine.

She laughed. “I think maybe you should take the first afternoon and evening of your forty-eight hours and catch up on some sleep.”

He put an arm around her shoulders and guided her in the general direction of the mess hall.

“All I need is some caffeine. And food – I could really use some food.”

m

“Sheila.”

They stopped and Sheila turned, grimacing at the sight of Willie’s reproachful gaze. What was he doing here?

“Do you need something, Willie?”

She felt Murdock tense next to her and glanced over at him. His expression had gone from carefree to wary and angry. He was usually so easygoing that the change was extreme and disturbing. His arm had tightened around her shoulders, his voice a low growl.

“Leighton.”

“Murdock. What do you think you’re doin’, boy?”

Feeling the pilot lunge forward, Sheila hooked her fingers through one of Murdock’s belt loops.

She rushed to answer Willie’s question. “We’re just headed to the mess hall to grab some lunch.”

Willie looked at her darkly. “Sheila, I told you...”

“We’re just having lunch, Willie.”

She tried to move away, pulling Murdock with her. Looking out toward the tent, she caught sight of Viola and waved frantically.

“Hey, Vi!”

Vi lifted a hand and then seemed to notice Sheila’s predicament. Nodding in understanding, Vi changed course and began to hurry in their direction.

“You keep your hands to yourself, boy.”

She felt Murdock’s arm jerk off her shoulders and turned in time to see Willie drop his hands to his sides. Turning abruptly, Murdock started to advance on Willie, who had the presence of mind to back away from the fury evident in the pilot’s face.

Catching Murdock’s arm, Sheila took a firm grip hoping to keep him from launching on the USO supply specialist. Breathless, Vi arrived and grabbed his other arm.

Vi blew out a breath. “Wow, I’m glad I caught you two. They’re waiting for us. See ya, Willie!”

And it took both of them to drag Murdock off the stage. Willie Leighton wisely chose to hang back, looking more than a little frightened.

Behind the tent, out of sight of Willie, Murdock finally broke away.

“Alright, alright, you can let go. What the hell is Willie Leighton doin’ here? When did he leave Da   Nang?”

Exchanging a wide-eyed look with Vi, Sheila shrugged in response to her bunkmate’s unspoken question. Obviously the two men knew each other, but she still had no idea how.

Vi answered Murdock’s question. “Our stage manager, Dean Steiger, and Willie were good friends. Dean pulled Willie into our traveling show last year to handle acquisitions and logistics.”

“Dean Steiger...,” Murdock murmured under his breath. Then he looked at Sheila and his face cleared a bit. “I’m sorry, Shy. I knew Willie when I was at Da Nang, Steiger too, and we had a bit of a...  falling out. I didn’t realize they were with you...  uh, your tour.”

Sheila suspected it was more than a simple falling out among former friends. Besides, what would Murdock have to do with the USO – he was Aviation. Figuring out the key to Murdock’s involvement in any drug or gun smuggling would have to include learning what the hell had happened between him and Willie and Dean up in Da Nang.

Reaching out, she took Murdock’s hand. “Just forget it. C’mon, let’s go get something to eat.”

His face finally relaxed into a smile as his fingers laced into hers. She felt her own lips turn up in response – he had such an infectious smile.

Vi chuckled and they both turned to look at her.

“You two are just a tad sickening, you know that. Go, get the hell outta here. I’ll watch your back and make sure Willie leaves you alone. Then maybe I’ll find the handsome lieutenant and we’ll come join you.”

mmm

In the mess hall, Murdock groaned as Sheila steered him away from the coffee and toward the food. “You really need to sleep, and coffee is just going to delay the inevitable crash.”

 They sat across from each other and ate in relative silence, until Face and Vi showed up.

“What, no coffee?” Face set his tray down and took a seat next to Sheila.

“Shy says I need to sleep. She won’t let me have any caffeine.”

Murdock glanced up at Sheila. She was watching him with wide eyes as he ate. Looking down at his tray, he grimaced. He _had_ taken quite a bit of food.

Face must have noticed the look, too. He patted Shy’s hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ve watched him inhale a lot of things, but he usually stops at the edge of his tray.”

Wrinkling his nose at Face, Murdock said, “I haven’t eaten yet today. I’m hungry.”

Vi set her tray down close to Murdock, edging herself closer once she was on the bench. She smiled at him.

“Feeling better now that you’ve eaten?”

“Sit that close, your food is fair game,” Murdock muttered.

Sheila snorted and Vi stuck out her tongue. “It’s not nice to gloat, Sheila.” But she did move away from the pilot.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vi. I was just laughing because you have mud on your face.”

Vi grabbed a napkin and wiped her cheeks, then looked down at the clean napkin.

“Very funny, Sheila.” She hooked a thumb at Murdock. “I think Willie’s right, you’re hanging out with this smart ass too much.”

Murdock raised an eyebrow at Sheila and they both laughed.

Ignoring them, Vi said, “So, HM, what’s up between you and Willie, anyway?

“Old business,” Murdock said flatly, hoping his tone ended the topic. He really didn’t want to talk about it, especially with the girls.

When Face steered the conversation in another direction, Murdock sighed in relief.

“So, what are we doing the rest of the afternoon?”

Sheila smiled at Murdock. “We never did take that swim you promised. We could do that, grab supper and then you can turn in early.”

His jaw dropped in dismay. “Turn in early?”

Her gaze was uncompromising. “Yes, turn in early.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you turning in with me?”

“You’re such a joker,” Sheila said, laughing.

Chuckling weakly with her, Murdock made a mental note to work more seriously on that front.


	6. An Afternoon for Fun

At the beach they spread out blankets and towels to claim an open spot.

Murdock eyed Face and Vi lying on the blanket, eyes closed, soaking up the sun. They looked way too comfortable and he recalled the previous night when he’d passed out lying on the beach with Shy. As good as that sounded right now, he was reluctant to give her any more ammunition to push for an early bed time.

Spying a group of children nearby, Murdock grinned. Castle-building would not only be fun, but should keep him occupied and awake. He grabbed Shy’s hand and pulled her along.

“Let’s go play in the sand.”

He was relieved when she followed happily. There were half a dozen kids digging in the sand, ranging in age from 5 or 6 to barely pre-teen. None spoke English, and Murdock greeted them in Vietnamese, asking if they wanted to help build a big castle. They all responded enthusiastically in the affirmative.

One little girl in particular seemed taken with Shy and took her hand talking to her rapidly in Vietnamese. He went to interpret but was stunned to silence when Shy responded fluently. His little USO show girl was full of surprises and the more he learned about her the more he wanted to know.

There were three older kids in the group that Murdock organized to build the main structure of what developed into a haphazard castle. Sheila worked with the younger children, collecting items along the beach to decorate the walls. More youngsters joined in as the afternoon wore on. By the time they were done the castle took up a large section of beach with about a dozen contributing architects.

Murdock dropped into the cool sand in the borrow pit and sighed as he laid his head back. His energy was starting to fade and he was really wishing Shy had let him have coffee at lunch. His eyes closed for a few seconds, until he felt a bucketful of sand fall on his stomach. He heard giggles and squinted into the sun to find one of the castle builders laughing down at him. Soon the instigator was joined by Shy and the other children, burying Murdock up to his chin in sand.

m

Face was standing and poked Vi with a toe.

“You gotta see this.”

Vi propped herself up on her elbow and shaded her eyes.

“That’s quite the fortified encampment they have there. Where did Murdock and Sheila go?”

“You have to stand up, they’re on the other side of the castle.”

“Make me get up…,” Vi grumbled as she pushed herself to her feet. “Oh my God, is that Murdock?”

Face laughed. “I have to get a picture. Shit, I left the camera back at the barracks. I’ll be right back.”

m

When Murdock broke out of his sand cocoon, he rose like an earthen monster and chased the kids, growling while they giggled and darted around him. Shy stood back, laughing. He was so unlike any man she had ever met before. It was impossible to watch him with the children and not become totally enchanted.

By the time she realized that Murdock had shifted his target from the kids to her, he was already wrapping her in a sandy bear hug. Despite the grittiness of the embrace, Shy found herself enjoying being wrapped in his arms. Face appeared and took a picture of the two of them, laughing and covered in sand.

“Now you have to go swimming with me, Shy.”

Looking up into Murdock’s laughing brown eyes, Sheila smiled warmly.

“Was that your plan all along, HM?”

“And if it was?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

She pursed her lips. “I think I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t.”

When he looked at her like that she found it easy to forget why she was here.

And the more time she spent with him, the quicker she found herself falling under his spell.

mmm

The water was pleasant and they stayed in for a while playing in the waves. Face and Vi came out and joined them, but by then Murdock was worn out. He and Sheila left the other couple and came ashore.

They collapsed on their towels. It was late afternoon and the beach was emptying. Murdock smiled when Sheila caught sight of the little girl that had latched onto her earlier in the day and waved.

The girl came running over and caught Sheila around the neck. “Tam biet!”

“Tam biet, em yeu.” Shy kissed her on the cheek, then waved as the girl ran off to her waiting mother.

Propping her chin in her hands, Sheila sighed. “So young and innocent. How long will it last?”

“Not long enough.” Murdock gazed after the smiling little girl for several seconds. When he looked back at Shy, he recognized the sadness in her blue eyes and reached out to rub her shoulder.

“It’s alright, sugar. You gave that little girl an afternoon she’ll remember for a good long time. You’ll help carry her through the darkness of life, as you will many of the men you sang to yesterday and today.” He smiled at her tenderly, adding, “And me.”

She looked at him and smiled. “I guess that’s something.”

“Mind if I ask you a question?”

Leaning back on her elbows, face relaxed in a smile, she responded flippantly, “Ask away.”

“How do you know Vietnamese?”

Her face tightened and he could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she considered how to answer the simple question. Curious.

“I talked to the woman at the… USO table at a career day during my last year of college and she said if I was interested she would recommend that I learn Vietnamese, so I did. I’ve always had a knack for languages. I know several. Where did you learn it?”

“Cultural immersion program.” He watched for her reaction.

Shy nodded in acceptance. Either she was afraid to betray her ignorance or she knew what a cultural immersion program was. Somehow, he felt certain it was the latter. That seemed strange for a fine arts major.

Sitting forward, Shy turned toward him. The determination evident in her blue eyes served to put him on guard.

“My turn to ask a question. How do you know Willie?”

Obviously with good reason. Leaning on one arm, he turned to look at her, choosing his words carefully.

“Willie and I kinda worked together for a while. He didn’t take my departure real well.”

“What were you doing with the USO at Da Nang?”

“Uh-uh. My turn to ask a question. Why did you join the USO and come to this God-forsaken place?”

He could see the muscles working in her jaw. “I thought I could make a difference. Maybe make the war a little shorter.”

“You think the USO is gonna shorten this war?”

The dry chuckle that met that comment didn’t sound amused.

“Well, maybe make it seem shorter, and that’s two questions. Now it’s your turn to answer mine –”

“I wasn’t working with the USO at Da Nang – I was in Aviation, kinda like I am now.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Surely does, you asked me what I was doing with the USO at Da Nang. The answer is ‘nothing.’”

“Well then, what were you doing with Willie at Da Nang?”

Murdock snorted. “As little as humanly possible. You ever smell that guy?”

“Vi’s right, you are a smart ass. And you didn’t answer the question.”

Her voice echoed his as he said, “Surely did.”

“Well, I did,” he said with a grin. “Which means it’s my turn.”

“I’m not playing anymore. You don’t play fair.”

“What do you consider fair play, sugar?”

“The truth.”

He caught and held Shy’s gaze. “My answers have been entirely truthful if not incredibly informative. Can you say the same about yours?”

The flicker of guilt in those sky-blue eyes was fleeting but unmistakable. He lay back on the blanket.

“You’re right. The game is over.”

It was a few seconds before she leaned over him. “Ok, it’s your turn.”

He couldn’t help but smile as he looked up into her determined face.

“Alright, but only the truth from here on out, deal?”

Her jaw tensed, but she nodded.

“Alright, here’s an easy one, were you really angry when I told that guy, Jim, you were busy earlier?”

Nodding her head ‘yes,’ she said, “No. I was actually kind of flattered, and maybe a little perplexed.”

“Why perplexed?”

Her expression became guarded. “I really enjoy spending time with you, HM. We’ve had a lot of fun, but... I really didn’t think you were interested in me... well, like that.”

“Huh?” He sat up, surprised. “I follow you around like a love-sick puppy. What more do you want?”

She hugged her knees to her chest and shrugged. “If you were interested, I’d expect you to want... to do more than talk.”

“You’re the one keeps refusing every time I ask you to come to bed with me. Besides, you told me you’re not that kind of girl – I’m trying to respect that.”

Gazing out at the ocean, Shy gave a bark of laughter. “Is that why you’ve never given me more than a brotherly kiss on the cheek? C’mon, HM, even I am not that naive.”

Murdock leaned toward her, so his lips were close to her ear. “Is that what you want – for me to kiss you?”

A tremor run through her body and she turned to look at him. “What I want and what is right are two different things.”

“I’m not sure how to respond to that,” he said, sitting back, brows furrowed.

Shy shrugged the tense moment off. “So don’t. I think it’s my turn, anyway.” She took a deep breath. “Did you… do couriering for Willie at Da Nang?”

That seemed like a rather pointed question, but he decided to answer it, albeit vaguely. “Yeah, I used to pick some things up for him.”

“What kinds of things, HM?”

So much for vague. He decided to stall, trying to figure out what to tell her. “That’s two questions.”

“Technicality. You were the one that said only the truth from here on out, remember?”

He met her gaze. “Why do I get the feeling you know more about this than I’d like?”

“I don’t _know_ anything, but having worked with Willie for almost a month, I have my suspicions.”

‘Fuck me’ flitted through his mind but he decided there was no avoiding the truth this time.

“I’m not proud of what I did at Da Nang, Shy. It’s in the past and I ain’t goin’ back to that life. I learned the hard way that drugs are not the way to relieve the stress around here. I lost a damn good peter pilot and friend because I thought I could handle it. There’s just way too much on the line when I go in the air to take chances with that kind of shit anymore.”

m

The raw pain in his eyes tore at Sheila. Whatever had happened, it had obviously affected him deeply. There was no way in hell this man was part of any drug running, of that she was now certain. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any proof other than Murdock’s word. Willie’s animosity toward the pilot could be construed as a strong indicator; if Willie was the smuggler - that had been a total shot in the dark on her part.

“How involved do you think Willie is in smuggling?” Sheila asked.

Murdock shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care. S’long as he and his friends stay away from me... and you.”

“Friends?”

“Willie didn’t work alone, sugar. Hell, he was just a grunt in the network, like I was. I’d bet Willie’s buddy Steiger is more intimately involved – though I never saw him get his hands dirty.”

“Dean Steiger? The stage manager?”

“Like I said, I never saw so I can’t swear to it. But it would explain why he’s the one that brought Willie into the traveling circus. Ideally positioned for distribution, don’t you agree?”

“Definitely.” Sheila bit her thumb in thought. “And being in procurement, no one thinks twice when Willie’s wheeling and dealing. It’s his job.”

“You sound way too interested in this, Shy. You gotta promise me you’re gonna keep as far away from those two as humanly possible.”

She turned to find worried brown eyes fixed on her. Consciously smoothing her furrowed brow, she offered him a light smile.

“I’ll do my best, but it could be difficult. Willie’s kind of omnipresent on the tour. And he’s marginally easier to avoid than Dean.”

Murdock didn’t look happy but he allowed the subject to drop. Sheila’s brain was working overtime as she considered what he had told her. Maybe she could convince Quinn to allow her to travel with the tour as they made their way back up the coast to Da   Nang. By digging into whatever had happened in the past, maybe she could get some dirt on Leighton and Steiger. Guys like that gave the USO a bad name.

Perhaps in the process, she might even be able to definitively clear Murdock. It was certainly worth a try.

mmm

Murdock kept delaying their trip to the mess hall. Standing, Shy picked up her towel with a frustrated grunt.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, that is the fourth time your stomach has rumbled in the last five minutes. Admit it – you’re hungry.”

“Am not.”

She stood over him, hands on hips. “How old are you?”

Face snorted, and Shy cast an irritated glare in his direction.

“No comments from the peanut gallery. You have done nothing but enable his avoidance of the inevitable for the last hour.” Turning back to Murdock, she jerked a thumb up. “Come on, let’s go get ready for dinner.”

Sighing, Murdock stood. “Fine, but I want coffee with dinner.”

“Fine.”

Murdock felt a brief sense of victory. Very brief. It ended a couple second later when Sheila grinned and added, “It’ll just have to be decaf.”

“Decaf still has caffeine – just have to drink more.” He pouted at her.

“Heck of a lot more.”

Vi shook her head. “You two sound like an old married couple.”

“What do you say, Shy? Wanna get married?”

The flush that colored Shy’s broad cheeks made Murdock’s grin widen.

“Don’t encourage him, Viola.”

“Honestly, sugar, it’s less about encouraging and more about baiting. Vi’s just learning what makes me tick.”

 “Old-fashioned boy meets old-fashioned girl and they live happily ever after,” Vi said with a bark of laughter. “Am I close? To be honest, you are both totally beyond me. Have you even had sex, yet?”

Shy turned on her heel. “I’m going to dinner.”

After shooting an irritated look at Vi, Murdock followed.

Behind him, Murdock heard Vi say, “They haven’t done it yet. Can you fucking believe _that_?”

Face’s voice was resigned. “I told you he wasn’t your type, Vi.”

“No shit. Of course, the challenge is intriguing.”


	7. Breaking Intimate

Murdock stifled another yawn and Face laughed at him. “Better watch it. Here comes Shy.”

_I’m gonna wire my jaw shut_. Coming back from bussing her tray, Shy was sure to push for him to go to bed. He wasn’t ready to give up the fight. Sleep was way over-rated when you had a beautiful woman to spend time with.

Vi joined Face’s laughter. “Give it up, flyboy. I’ve only known Sheila for a few weeks, but it doesn’t take long to learn just how stubborn she can be.”

“I’m not that tired, really.”

Shy dropped into her seat across from him, her expression blatantly disbelieving.

“You have yawned your way through dinner, HM. You really need to get some sleep.” She plucked at his sleeve. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to the barracks.”

“Tuck him in good, Shy. Then join us at the bar. Face said Gravy, Ray and BA want to meet us.” Vi grinned at her.

Murdock groaned. “You can’t go to the bar without me. I’m telling you, those guys will eat you alive.”

Leaning toward Shy, Face snickered and said, “He’s just worried about the stories we’ll tell in his absence.”

Shy patted Murdock’s hand, then looked at Face. “I doubt I’ll join you at the bar. I’m kind of tired myself. I’ll have to meet them later.”

Murdock stuck his tongue out at Face as they stood to leave and Shy laughed. Fingers laced together they walked out of the mess tent side by side. A comfortable silence descended as they headed toward the team barracks. Murdock’s mind was spinning, though, as he cast about for an angle to get Shy to change her mind. He hated the thought of losing any amount of his short time with her.

Before he knew it, the barracks was in sight. He heaved an exasperated sigh and gave Shy a long sideways look.

“So... you’re really going to make me go to bed... alone.”

She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “You need to sleep. We’ll see each other tomorrow.”

He swung around so he was walking backward facing her. Catching her other hand, he schooled his features into what he hoped was a hang-dog expression.

“C’mon, Shy. We could go back down to the beach, lie out under the stars and fall asleep, like the other night.”

“You need to sleep.”

“I did sleep. I would sleep.”

“You need to sleep well.”

“ _You_ are a broken record.”

“I feel like your mother.”

He smiled. “You don’t look like her.”

“Thank God.”

They were at the door to his barracks. “C’mon, Shy. We only have forty hours left to spend together. You aren’t seriously going to make me sleep.”

Pulling her hands out of his, she crossed her arms. “Most people get a few hours of sleep every day, HM. I am seriously asking you to sleep – for your own good.”

He looked down at her and sighed. “Anyone ever tell you that you are one stubborn little lady?”

She smirked at him. “I’ve heard stubborn and little, before. Lady’s a new one.”

One corner of his mouth lifted in a sardonic smile as he shook his head. “Every time I think I’ve got your number, you throw me again, sugar.”

She looked at him steadily. “That’s my plan.”

“Your plan, huh? I should warn you that I have plans of my own.”

m

Sheila swallowed. His expressive, brown-eyed gaze held hers, and the heat in that look warmed her from head to toe. Her heart was rapidly taking over her brain. It scared the shit out of her that she couldn’t seem to control her reactions to him, particularly when he was this close.

Clearing her throat, she managed an almost-steady tone when she said, “Hopefully your plan includes going to sleep sometime soon.”

“Soon.”

The low timbre of his voice made her breath catch. He had moved closer and though she willed her feet to move her away, they steadfastly ignored the command. It was as she’d feared, her brain was functioning, but it definitely wasn’t in control.

Murdock’s large hand rose to cradle her head gently just before he claimed her lips in their first real kiss. His eyes stayed open, looking into hers, almost as if asking for permission. The logical part of her brain continued sending a desperate message to her body to pull away. But every single muscle rebelled and Sheila sagged against him, her eyes drifting shut as she parted her lips in surrender.

Since that first evening she had been fantasizing about this. Her daydreams had been decidedly lackluster compared to the real thing. Shy wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss – savoring the moment even as she silently acknowledged that this could be a career-killing mistake.

Murdock wrapped his arms around her waist. One hand wandering under her shirt, his rough skin hot against hers. He reached higher under her shirt, brushing her breast, one long finger teasing her nipple erect through the fabric of her bra.

A pleasant ache started between her legs as Murdock’s tongue gently probed her mouth. She found herself hoping it wasn’t the only probing he planned. The thought grounded her and she pulled away, wishing like hell he didn’t have such a profound effect on her.

m

Murdock released her reluctantly. “Shy.”

“We can’t do this now, HM.”

“Oh, I definitely could,” he murmured.

He pulled her to him again, this kiss less gentle, more insistent. “Please, Shy, I want to make love to you.”

She groaned and made a weak attempt to pull away. “Not here, not now.”

“Why not, sugar?”

“Because there’s no privacy.”

She managed to pull away, though the look in her eyes told him he was breaking down her barriers.

He smiled at her and closed the gap again.

“All I gotta do is leave my t-shirt on the door. We all know what that means. They’ll stay out until we’re done. ‘Sides, you heard Vi, they’re all goin’ to the bar.”

Leaning down, he kissed the soft skin just below her ear. A low throaty groan escaped her lips, making him smile. He slipped his hands back around her, drawing her close enough to bury his face in her neck.  

Shy finally gave up the fight and relaxed against him. Her hands slid under his t-shirt, along the waist band of his pants. It was all the touch he needed. Slowly hardening since their first kiss, her touch on his bare skin brought him to a full, throbbing erection.

Murdock needed Shy like he had never needed a woman before.

m

Her entire body ached for him and she couldn’t find the will to refuse him anymore. As one, they pushed into the barracks, where he released her long enough to strip off his t-shirt and snake it onto the spring of the door.

Murdock took her hand, leading her back to his bunk. Once there he pulled her back into his arms, his lips again demanding. Sheila slipped her hands around his waist and up his back, thrilling at the warm, bare skin over corded muscle.

While his mouth sustained its assault on hers, both of his hands moved under her shirt, making short work of unhooking her bra. He then moved on to the front of her shirt, long fingers surprisingly nimble as he undid the buttons of her blouse. She let the shirt slide off her arms as his hands stroked to her shoulders to pull the straps of her bra down.

Shy struggled to keep from panting as his lips left hers to whisper along her jaw, continuing down the curve of her neck over the swell of her breast. When he reached her nipple he laved it with his tongue before taking it into his mouth and suckling.

If he kept that up she was going to lose it. The ache between her legs was already an undeniable and very physical need. She put her hands on either side of his face and pulled him back up into a warm, open-mouthed kiss. It didn’t cool her need, but it allowed her to regain some control.

She slid her fingers down to his waist where she struggled to unbuckle his belt. At the same time, she felt his hands move. He was quicker than she was, and soon had her pants undone. Interrupting her fumbling, he slipped her pants and panties off over her hips and down her legs.

When he stood back up, he had undone his belt for her and there was a teasing glint in his eyes.

“Just thought I’d help you out, sugar,” he growled as he pulled her naked body against him.

She squirmed out of his grasp to give herself enough room to finally get his pants unzipped. They fell off of his narrow hips without any effort on her part. Running her fingers under the elastic of his underwear, she pushed them down but was stymied when they hung up on his erection.

Murdock chuckled again. “You’re just having all sorts of trouble, aren’t you?”

With a rueful smile, Sheila forced herself to slow down and carefully maneuvered the underwear over his stiff member, allowing her fingers to graze its length teasingly as she did so.

As soon as the last of the clothing was out of the way they wrapped around one another, moving back to the bed. Murdock seemed reluctant to let her loose to lie down. They were both breathing hard and Sheila found herself focused on the thought of him inside of her to the exclusion of all else. She finally pushed him away long enough to drop onto the bed.

He stood in front of her, obviously as ready as she felt and she reached forward to touch him. A low moan escaped his lips as her curious fingers traced the throbbing veins on the surface of his erection. Leaning forward, Sheila slid her tongue around the head and was about to go further when he pulled away.

Murdock’s voice was low and raspy. “I don’t have that much control, sugar.”

He stood apart from her for a few seconds and Sheila could tell he was struggling to calm himself. The realization that he was as concerned as much about her pleasure as he was his own served to increase her desire for him.

Suddenly, he was back by her side, pushing her onto the bed as he lowered his lean frame next to her. His hand trailed from her breast down to her hip, slipping to the small of her back and pulling her forward. Sheila slid a leg up over him and pressed her other leg against his hardness, desperate to relieve the mounting ache between her legs.

He rolled on top of her and she opened her legs. Grabbing his firm butt, she guided him forward insistently, her need for him driving out any inhibitory thoughts she still harbored.

Despite her obvious urgency, he held back, slipping into her one achingly-slow inch at a time until she moaned, “Please, HM.”

So ready she felt as if she was going to implode, Sheila wasn’t sure how much more teasing she could take. Murdock stopped and looked down at her, a smoldering smile on his face.

“Please,” she whispered, arching against him to convey her urgency.

His breath caught just before he plunged, hard and fast, and Sheila felt her core coil around his hard member. When he pulled out she felt a brief sense of loss until he plunged again. She bit her lip to keep from crying out as the spring that had been tightening since that first kiss let loose and pleasure pulsed through her.

He pulled out, his hands slipping under her butt. She widened her legs, allowing his next thrust to penetrate her fully. She gasped as he exploded inside of her, the rhythmic pulsing accompanying his growl of pleasure took her higher than she thought possible. Reaching up, she snaked her arms around his neck to pull him down to her, removing all space between them as their mutual orgasm swelled through them.

It was a few minutes before either of them could catch their breath enough to talk. He leaned on an elbow and looked at her.

“I’m wondering what the hell we’ve been waiting for.”

She returned his smile. “I don’t know.”

Her smile faded as she realized what had happened. As she watched, Murdock’s brow furrowed in response to her change of expression.

“What’s wrong, sugar?”

She sighed and glanced toward the front of the barracks, if only to avoid losing herself in his eyes.

“I just feel... a little uncomfortable in here, especially naked.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it was hardly the whole truth. Her biggest problem had little to do with the setting of their love-making and more to do with the reality of it.

His husky voice scattered her thoughts. “Mm, I like you naked. Please, don’t worry about it, sugar. I promise none of the guys will open that door.” He leaned over and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the desk. “They’re kinda like sandpaper but they will help contain the mess.”

She smiled gratefully, but nearly jumped out of her skin when he sat up and wiped between her legs. There was something oddly sensual about it. And in the act of cleaning her, he fanned the coals of her desire. It wasn’t like she’d had a lot of sexual partners, but Murdock was the first man that had ever expressed concern about her comfort after intercourse, let alone done anything about it.

When he lay back down, he brought the sheet up over them. It was hot, but the cool sheet felt nice. There was barely room on the bed for both of them, and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close.

“I know you wanna go. Please just let me hold ya for a li’l while.”

Sheila looked up at him, and felt herself melt. How could she say ‘no’ to him when he looked at her like that?

“A little while.”

He dipped his head and kissed her lightly. “Thanks, sugar.”

She shifted so she could reach his lips more comfortably and returned the kiss. His hands slid up her back, kneading her neck and shoulders, while she traced his spine downward with gentle fingers.

Eyes closed, she savored the feel of his body against hers, skin to skin, the scent of their love-making lending a heady backdrop to the tactile experience. The aching need was back in force. The fleeting thought that she should have left when she had the chance was barely acknowledged as she indulged in the intense feelings that he aroused.

The nudge of his hardening member between them made Sheila smile. She opened her eyes and pulled back so she could look into his face.

“Is holding me all you had in mind, HM?”

He quirked an apologetic grin at her. “Well, it was. I’m afraid Little Brain, down there, has a mind of his own.”

She chuckled. “Little Brain, huh? I think I like that.”

“I think I like you,” he murmured.

Adjusting himself, he pulled her close, again, his lips gentle against hers. The soft stiffness of him held between their bodies served to intensify the ache between her legs. She slid her hand from where it rested at the small of his back up over his hip, letting her fingers tangle, teasing, into his coarse hair. Murdock’s breath caught and quickened, and his kiss became more urgent.

He shifted slightly to give her easier access, as her fingers trailed lightly up his rapidly hardening member, then closed around it. She could imagine the feel of it sliding into her and let her fingers mimic the movement she longed for. It took little time for her to stroke him to a full erection, rousing herself in the process until every fiber of her being pulsated with the consummate desire to have him fill her again.

mmm

If he didn’t take control he was going to lose it, and he couldn’t allow that. Reaching down, he took her hand and raised it up over her head as he rolled on top of her. Shy had to shift to keep from rolling off the tiny bed and when she did her legs parted. He found her second hand and moved it to join the first, both of her small hands fitting easily into his one. Allowing his full weight to bear between her legs, he leveraged himself higher until his penis was hard against her warm, wet slit.

With his free hand he massaged one of her breasts as he lowered his mouth to the other, teasing the already-erect nipple with his tongue. Her responding groan encouraged him and he took her breast into his mouth, sucking hard as he kneaded the other, rolling the nipple roughly between thumb and forefinger.

Though Murdock craved the feel of her closing around him, for the moment the need was manageable. It hadn’t been that long since they’d first made love and now that he was in control, he planned to take his time and enjoy her.

Releasing her hands, he was gratified when she gripped the bed railing above her head. Shy’s body stretched out below him like a buffet, one he would definitely savor. With one hand on each of her firm breasts, he left a trail of feathery kisses across the plain of her stomach. As he moved below her belly button, her hands came down to tangle in his hair, coaxing him up. But he ignored her, abandoning her breasts to explore lower, still.

Kneeling between her legs, he used his fingers to tease her folds apart, revealing the succulent core of her. Lowering his mouth, Murdock slid his tongue lightly along her slit, her taste and smell more beguiling than any drug.

Shy’s legs widened, and he massaged her inner thighs as he pressed deeper into her with his tongue, indulging in her salty sweetness. She began to writhe under him, and he closed his mouth over her clit sucking until his name slipped out of her lips in a soft moan.

All thoughts he had of taking his time evaporated. In one long thrust he entered her. She was tight and it took the little control he had remaining to pull out so he could shift higher and enter her fully. Her groans echoed through his head, as her fingers bit into his back, pulling him deeper, her legs wrapping around his.

Time suspended as he pressed into her, every sense focused on the mounting tension where their bodies melded into a single flesh for one perfect moment.

The rhythmic tightening of her around him was the permission he needed. He let go buried deep inside of her, his orgasm pulsating in time to hers.

His mind flew into the expanse of her sky-blue eyes as she took him higher then he had ever flown before.

Coming back to earth reluctantly, Murdock sank onto her, utterly spent and completely sated. Feeling Shy shift under him, he propped himself up long enough to grab a handful of tissues to clean them both up. Then he lay back down and cradled her in his arms.

The taste of her still lingered on his lips and her soft skin, slick with a sheen of sweat, felt like silk under his fingers. Burying his face in the curve of her neck, the scent of lavender and their love-making overwhelmed the musty odor of the barracks. Her soft sighs and slowing heartbeat soothed him. All of his senses filled with Shy, he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	8. Eavesdropping

Sheila wanted to drown in the contentment she found in Murdock’s arms and stubbornly pushed away the guilty thoughts that encroached as soon as the consuming passion waned. This was where she wanted to be.

His lips moved against her neck, his breath raising gooseflesh across her body as he murmured, “I love you, Shy.”

His simple statement sent her crashing back into reality. Love? She pondered the term. Did it apply to the chaos of emotions that he aroused within her? When he was treating her more like a sister and less like ‘his girl’ she was able to leave those feelings unnamed. And while she might believe that Murdock was innocent, it didn’t change the fact that regardless of what she called her feelings for him, she had broken the cardinal rule of investigation. Never get personally involved with your target.

As soon as she felt the pilot relax into sleep, Sheila slipped out of bed. She dressed quickly. Then picked up his clothes and left them in a pile near the foot of his bed. There was no escaping looking at him and she felt her resolve to leave begin to fade.

A smile curved Murdock’s full lips. As she stared, he shifted in his sleep and put his arms around his pillow. Her core began to ache with an unbidden desire to be wrapped in those arms. But she really needed to get her head screwed back on straight. She shook herself and turned away.

She was glad dusk was falling as she grabbed his t-shirt off the door. Walking back into the barracks, she pressed the cotton fabric to her face and inhaled the leathery musk that she would forever associate with Murdock. She sighed as she lowered the shirt, hesitating before adding it to the pile of clothes.

Murdock shifted in his sleep again and murmured her name, recapturing her attention just as she was about to turn away. Looking at him, she smiled. Finally he sleeps. Allowing herself one last indulgence, she leaned down and pressed her lips gently against his forehead.

_I have to go_ , she chided herself as she turned resolutely away from the pilot and walked out of the barracks.

Once outside, she headed straight for the USO supply tent. She was intent on getting her head back in the game and digging up some dirt on Leighton and Steiger.

At the open flap of the tent Willie was just finishing up a cigarette. Before discarding the butt, he pressed the burning end to another to light it. He seemed to be waiting for someone, or something, and she decided that it would be worthwhile to hang around and see what was going on.

Sheila knew she couldn’t move any closer without cover, so she crept around the back and found a place where she could wriggle under the canvas and inside. Supplies were getting fairly low, since tomorrow was their last day at Nha Trang. The resupply was already awaiting them at their next stop, Cam Ranh.

Hearing the murmur of voices, Sheila realized that whoever Willie was waiting for had arrived. She moved nearer to the tent entrance cautiously. There was no cover here, but it was the only place she could actually hear what was being said. She recognized Dean Steiger’s voice. He sounded irritated.

“This is the fucking urgent matter you wanted to talk to me about – Murdock? Christ, Willie, he had plenty of opportunity to turn us in at Da Nang. Why would he do it now?”

“He’s been hanging out an awful lot with that new girl, Sheila. Not sure what to make of her. I told her to stay away from him, but she won’t listen.”

“You need to chill out about Murdock, Willie. If he was gonna do something, he would have already. As for Sheila, she seems like a girl-next-door type, pretty innocent. Probably nothing to worry about there, but I’ll talk to her. You know how these girls are, especially around the pilots.”

“I don’t like it. I never understood why Murdock got special treatment. He shouldn’t have been allowed to walk and live. He’s a liability.”

“You may not like it, but you know as well as I do that when Murdock was allowed to exit, it was clear someone high up wanted him left alone. So you better watch who you say that kind of shit to. And you better stop antagonizing him.”

“I never did like that kid. He’s weird. And when he wasn’t high, he was irritatingly self-righteous.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve heard rumblings that he’s being groomed to take the fall. This fucking stateside task force that’s descending is going to put a major crimp in our operations. They have to get the heat off somehow.”

Sheila had to stifle at gasp at mention of the stateside task force. How the hell could they know about that? The first undercover agents hadn’t even hit the ground and it sounded like the entire operation already had a leak. That was frightening.

“I keep hearing rumblings about it, but I haven’t seen any sign of it. When’s it supposed to start?”

“I heard it’s hitting the ground within the week. Listen, Willie, just play it cool with Murdock. In fact, just stay the hell away from him. We’ll be out of here in another day, anyway. I’ll talk to Sheila tomorrow about pursuing relationships with the men she meets on tour. It will be done and over.”

As the two men said their goodnights, Sheila crept toward the back of the tent. Just before Willie ducked through the entry she managed to conceal herself behind a stack of boxes. With him inside the quiet tent she was afraid if she tried to slip out the way she had gotten in he would hear her. She would just have to wait for him to leave.

It was nearly midnight when Willie finally walked out. She had spent those hours trying to digest what she had overheard. With more questions than answers, there was only one thing she was confident about – Quinn would have to let her go with the tour up to Da Nang now.

When Sheila got back to quarters she wasn’t surprised to find Vi’s bunk empty. She dropped into her bed, but lay awake for some time. Warning Murdock was imperative given what she’d overheard tonight.

But how was she going to do that without blowing her cover?

mmm

The slamming barracks door woke Murdock with a start.

“Jesus H. Christ, ti gason. You still sleepin’?” Gravy asked, walking to his locker.

Murdock lifted his head and chuckled at the Cajun. “Don’t want to advertise what you had for breakfast, Gravy?”

Gravy had stripped off his t-shirt and was pulling on a clean one.

“Up yers, Murdock.”

“What time is it?”

“A’most Oh-nine-hundred. I’m headed to the motor pool to help BA finish up Ray’s latest fou ide. You better get you lazy ass outta bed. Don’ wanna sleep away you leave.”

Rolling over, Murdock buried his face in his pillow as Gravy slammed back out of the barracks. The scent of lavender was unmistakable. He lifted his head and noticed the pile of clothes gathered at the foot of his bed, as well as his own nudity under the sheet. It hadn’t been a dream.

The door opened again. Face and Ray walked in.

“Well I’ll be, Sleeping Beauty is finally awake,” Ray said with a smirk.

Murdock grunted in annoyance. “Why didn’t you guys wake me up for breakfast?”

Dropping onto his own bunk, Face said, “I did. You rolled over and ignored me after mumbling something about Sheila.”

Shy. He could feel himself hardening just thinking about her. It was a good thing he was laying on his stomach or he’d really betray himself.

“I saw Vi and Sheila at breakfast, by the way,” Face said. “Sheila said they’re doing another session like yesterday… said she’d be up at the stage whenever you woke up.”

“Like yesterday?” Murdock remembered finding Shy surrounded by men. Shit. “When does that start?”

Face shrugged. “Right now, I think.”

“Now?”

Shit, shit, shit. Murdock swung his legs out of bed, scooped up the pile of laundry and in three long steps was at his locker. Dumping the dirty clothes in his bag, he pulled on clean underwear, pants and a t-shirt.

When Murdock walked back to his bed to sit and put on his socks and shoes Face was standing there with a shit-eating grin curving his lips.

“In a hurry to get somewhere?” Face asked, tone goading.

“You didn’t see those vultures yesterday,” Murdock grunted as he pulled on his socks. “I gotta get over to the stage.”

Face snorted and Murdock stopped abruptly just as he was about to put on his boot. Looking up at his friend narrowly, he shook his head as he realized he’d been had. He stamped his foot into his shoe in irritation.

“You’re such a lyin’ sack of shit,” Murdock growled. “Shy ain’t at the stage, is she?”

Shaking his head, Face was still snickering as he said, “Vi told me how you reacted yesterday. And since when do you sleep nude?”

Picking up his pillow to throw it at Face, Murdock thought better of it and pulled it back into his chest. It still smelled like Shy and he didn’t want to share it. In fact, he didn’t want to share any of it. And he knew if Face suspected what had happened yesterday he’d be relentless.

Murdock set the pillow aside and finished putting on his shoes. Then he stood up and made his bed, setting the pillow carefully at the head of it. He had hoped Face would let it go, but he was disappointed.

“Are you going to answer me, Murdock?” Face nudged him, a conspiratorial smile on his face. “Why were you sleeping in the nude? Did you have some company in there yesterday evening? Huh? Come on, buddy. Share!”

“It’s… not what you think, Face,” Murdock said. “I... I had to change in the middle of the night. And I was too tired to get dressed.”

“What? Jesus, you mean you had a wet dream?” Face shook his head. “Christ, Murdock, would you just lay her, already? You’re making me nuts.”

“Leave him alone, Face. He’s not you.”

Ray didn’t even look up from the letter he was writing. They all knew he was writing to his wife. He did every day. That was what Murdock craved – what Ray had with Trish.

“Thank you, Ray.”

“Thank you, Ray,” Face mocked. He swung away and started toward the door. “I’ve got shit to do for the Colonel, but I did tell Shy you’d come get her in quarters when you woke up. She’ll be waiting for you.”

Murdock watched Face walk out of the barracks. Ray turned in his chair, his gaze blatantly curious.

“What?” Murdock asked.

“Why are you lying to Face?”

“Huh?”

“I saw your t-shirt on the door early yesterday evening. You were in here with Shy, weren’t you?”

Murdock sighed. “I thought you guys went to the bar...”

“I stopped by the barracks to grab my wallet – actually ought to thank you. Ended up letting Face buy me beer. But that doesn’t change the fact that you were in here with Shy and you just let your best friend walk out of here believing the most action you saw last night was in a wet dream.”

“You won’t tell him... any of them, will you, Ray? It’s private. And you know how they can be. Especially Face and Gravy.”

“You really fell for this girl, didn’t ya, kid?”

Dropping onto his bunk, Murdock ran his hands through his hair.

“I don’t know, Ray. I mean, she’s pretty and smart, and damn the sex was... incredible. But then I know she’s lied to me. I’m not sure why or what about, but I know there’s way more to her than meets the eye. That should bother me, shouldn’t it?”

Ray grinned. “Knowing you, it’s probably part of the attraction. When does she leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Then what the hell are you doing sitting here talking to me? I’ll still be here after tomorrow. You should go spend time with her while you can. We can talk later. After she’s gone. And you’ve got your head screwed back on straight.”

Murdock stood up. “You won’t tell Face, though, right?”

“Your secret is safe with me, Murdock.”

mmm

Ray watched Murdock disappear through the door and returned to his letter to Trish. He skimmed what he had written and then picked up the pen to finish.

_A USO tour has been on base the last couple days. I caught the show. A little too modern for my taste, though there was one solo piece that I enjoyed. Apparently the young woman that sang that has captured Murdock’s attention. He just ran out of here to go see her. I know he’s serious about her – he even lied to Face about how far he’s taken their relationship._

_Murdock isn’t one to sleep with a woman lightly. I worry about that boy and I know Hannibal does, too. He’s in the midst of 48 hours of leave and still running non-stop. When he goes at something he goes full bore, no holds barred._

_Maybe I should be worried about the girl. He craves a relationship so bad and yet he has trouble even opening up to his friends. He needs to learn to trust before he can have the kind of relationship he’s looking for. Maybe this girl can break down those barriers. I hope so._

_Well, I promised BA and Gravy I’d help with the project I gave them yesterday, so I suppose I should be going. I’ll write again tomorrow. Until then, remember, I love you and miss you and I’ll be home before you know it._

_All my love,_

_Ray_

He put down the pen and folded the letter, tucking it into the already-addressed envelope and sealing it. Slipping the letter into his pocket, Ray headed for the door. BA and Gravy were going to be wondering where the hell he was. He needed to get to the motor pool… by way of the post.

mmm

Murdock knocked on the door to Shy’s quarters and waited. It was only a few seconds before she appeared.

“Hey, Shy.”

He felt that goofy smile on his face. Her responding smile was distracted.

“Hi, HM. Come on in.”

After a brief glance at him, her gaze slid over his shoulder, scanning the visible area as he stepped inside.  

As she closed the door he asked, “Expecting someone?”

She looked at him almost as if she’d forgotten he was there.

“Kind of.”  

The desire to wrap her in his arms was intense but something about her demeanor held him back.

“Is everything ok, sugar?” he asked, moving toward her.

The regret shining in her blue eyes when she looked up was his first inkling that things weren’t going to be going his way. Her next words confirmed his suspicions.

“We need to talk, HM.”

Leading him to the desk, Shy had him sit down in the one chair. She remained standing, arms crossed, fingers drumming an irregular tempo on her forearms.

Murdock was struck by how similar the movement was to her fingers on the piano keys.

“What song are you playing?”

Dropping her hands to her sides, she looked at him in surprise.

“Chopin’s Ballade Number 2 in F Major. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

She licked her lips and took a deep breath. “HM, yesterday, I... it never should have gone that far.”

“Why?”

She bit her lip. “Because it can’t go any further. It can’t. And it wasn’t fair of me to let you think it could.”

“Any further than what, sugar? ‘Cause I’ll tell you right now, as enjoyable as yesterday evening was, it didn’t change how I feel about you.”

“What?”

Unable to remain still any longer, he stood and began pacing.

“The sex was just icing on the cake. I was head over heels with you already, Shy.”

Her fingers began drumming again as she turned away.

“You don’t even know me, HM.”

“I know you well enough.”

Shy snorted.

He glanced sideways at her and quirked a grin. “I think I know you better than you’re comfortable with.”

Her lips formed a tight line. He knew he was right.

Stopping close in front of her, he caught and held her gaze. “I think... if you’re going to be the stubborn little lady I’ve come to know, I might just have to accept Face’s advice, and take what I can get.” He touched her cheek. “One more day to spend with you.”

He leaned down and kissed her lightly, his fingers sliding around her neck to tangle in her hair.

She pulled away. “Please, HM, don’t. I can’t do this.”

Her breathing was rapid, and when he looked in her eyes he caught the glisten of tears. That, more than her words, made him stop, but he didn’t let go.

“Why?”

“Because you and I both know that what you’re really looking for isn’t just one more day.”

There was a knock on the door, and they both jumped. Shy muttered ‘shit’ under her breath and looked at him intently. “You need to get out of sight.”

“What? Why?”

“Please, HM, just do as I ask.” She gave him a gentle shove toward the back of the tent.

mmm

When Sheila turned around, Murdock had disappeared. Taking several deep breaths, she tried desperately to get herself under control. Dean Steiger’s voice accompanied the next pummeling of her door.

“Sheila, we need to talk!”

She opened the door and Dean strode in, pulling the door shut behind him. “Trust me, this is a conversation best held in private.”

“What is it, Dean?”

“Sheila, I didn’t think I was going to have this kind of trouble with you. For a month you’ve traveled with us and not once have I had to say anything about your extracurricular activities. We encourage you girls to talk to the men, but when it goes too far, all it does is hurt everyone involved. I understand you’ve been spending a lot of time with one particular soldier, a pilot...”

“Captain Murdock,” Sheila said.

“Captain Murdock, yes.”

“I haven’t spent any more time with him than Vi’s spent with Lieutenant Peck.” Sheila grimaced. That had probably been the wrong comparison to make.

Dean turned around and she braced herself when she saw the dark expression on his face.

“Vi is an entirely different issue. I’ve already spoken to her. _You_ are getting far too close to Murdock, and I’m ending it, here and now. You are not to see him again. Understood?”

Biting her tongue to keep from saying something rash, Sheila said evenly, “I understand that you don’t want me to see him again. What I don’t understand is why.”

Expression softening, Dean placed his hands on her shoulders and kneaded them gently.

“Trust me, Sheila. You’re better off not getting too attached to any of the men you meet on tour, but especially the pilots. The North Vietnamese Army has a standing price on their heads and Murdock, in particular, is fucking reckless. I know. I saw him in action at Da Nang. It’s safer if you take your heart off your sleeve and lock it away while you’re here.”

Sheila let her eyes tear up. As strung out as she was right now, it wasn’t hard, and it would serve her purpose in this situation. She needed Dean to believe she was just what he thought, an innocent Midwestern girl who was in over her head. In all honesty, she wondered how far from the truth it was anyway.

“I think it might be a little late for that. I have to at least say good-bye to him, Dean. I owe him that.”

“A clean break would be better. That’s why you and Vi are both heading to Cam Ranh today. I want you to pack your overnight bag and get ready to head out.”

Sheila stared. “Now? But I thought we were here for another day.”

“The trucks leave in half an hour. I want you at the supply tent in fifteen minutes. You’re going with the advance setup crew this time.”

Dean’s expression was almost apologetic when he turned to look at her as he opened the door.

“Trust me, Sheila, this is for the best. A clean break. And then don’t let it happen again.”

As the door closed, Sheila sensed rather than heard Murdock behind her. She ground her teeth together, determined to maintain tight control of her emotions.

Murdock said, “I hate to admit it, but it’s mostly good advice. I just want to know one thing...”

She crossed her arms, but kept her back to him. “What’s that?”

“When you said ‘I think it might be a little late for that’ - was it part of an act or did you mean it?”

When she didn’t answer, Murdock moved around in front of her.

“Are you going to answer me?”

It was impossible to look into those warm brown eyes and deny that she had feelings for him. She closed the distance between them and gave him a firm, but closed-mouth kiss on the lips. The tell-tale stinging in her eyes caused her to blink, but she was able to will the tears into submission this time as she stepped away.

Moving to the head of her bed, she grabbed his jacket from where it had been hanging since he’d given it to her. The smell of leather and musk that she would forever associate with HM Murdock, surrounded her and she took a deep breath before holding the coat out to him. She looked up into his expressive, handsome face for what she was resolved would be the last time.

“Good-bye, HM.”

He surprised her, nearly crushing her in his arms, his lips insistent and hungry. It took every ounce of control Sheila possessed to press her hands against his chest and push away. She nearly stumbled when he abruptly let go, leaving the jacket in her hand.

The determination in his smoldering gaze made her catch her breath.

“Just a little something to hold me over ‘til I see you again, sugar. And I will see you again. You can keep the jacket as a reminder of that promise.”

He turned on his heel and walked out of the tent.

Sheila’s heart felt like it was going to thud out of her heaving chest, her fingers curling into the jacket, unconsciously trying to hold onto him even as he disappeared. So much for maintaining control.

As the door swung shut behind him, she muttered ‘shit’ again. He had made her head swim so much that she’d forgotten the one thing she needed to do – tell him about the setup. She dropped the jacket on the bed and rushed to the desk to write a brief note.

But how was she going to deliver it without chancing another run-in with the pilot? From her lengthy talks with Murdock, she knew the one place he was unlikely to be was the motor pool. But hopefully his friend, Sergeant Baracus, would be there. 

She picked up HM’s jacket, inhaling the scent again before selfishly deciding to tuck it into her personal suit case. Less than five minutes later she was running out the door with a hastily-packed duffel. At the motor pool she stopped the nearest soldier and asked if Sergeant Baracus was around. She was directed to a closed bay. When she walked in, a large, black man looked up at her, his gaze curious.

He wiped his hands on a rag as he walked toward her. “Hey, little sister, you look lost.”

Sheila smiled. “I’m not lost if you’re Sergeant BA Baracus.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You lookin’ for me?”

Moving forward, she held out a hand. “I’m Sheila Downey.”

Baracus took her hand in his large beefy one. On the other side of the contraption they were assembling, another man stood with a teasing smile on his homely face.

“Well, if it ain’t Murdock’s lamou dous enpe.”

Sheila’s cheeks flamed. Though she didn’t know exactly what he said, she knew enough related languages to catch the gist of his words. Her gaze shifted back to Baracus, who was grinning at her, too.

Baracus indicated the man with a nod. “This here’s Rem Gravois.”

Gravois stepped forward and held out a hand. “You probly heard o’ me as –”

“Gravy.” She shook his hand.

The two men stood there gazing at her like she was an exotic bird.

Taking a deep, bracing breath, she held out an envelope. She had to concentrate to keep her hand from shaking.

“I was just hoping that you would give this to HM.”

“You didn’ see ‘im dis mornin’?” Gravy asked.

“I... did, I just, didn’t get to say everything before he had to leave. And now... I have to go.”

Baracus took the envelope and nudged Gravy. “Ain’t none o’ our business noway. I’ll make sure Murdock gets it.”

Hesitating, she stammered, “Would you... um, please… tell HM, I’m sorry. Thanks.”

She turned and ran out of the shop before they could see the tears.

m

BA raised an eyebrow as the little woman disappeared. That had been strange.

Laughing as he turned back to their project, Gravy said, “Somethin’ tell me that li’l fi gonna be mighty surprised when Murdock shows up at Cam Ranh.”

BA tapped the envelope on his leg. “I’m gonna take this to the barracks for Murdock. Be back.”

“I’ll pry be gone. Faceman say we leavin’ soon as he done.”

“OK. I’ll see ya when ya get back.”

mmm

Murdock’s pace matched the speed of his thoughts, which were spinning. Shy was stubborn, but given some more time he was sure he could wear her down. After a complete circuit of the base, he hadn’t found Face in any of his usual haunts. He finally gave up and headed for the barracks. This was wasting time. He’d find Face after he was packed.

Pushing into the barracks, Murdock stopped short. Ray and Face leapt apart when the door slammed shut, and the flash of betrayal Murdock felt was instantaneous. Glaring at Ray, Murdock was immediately repentant when the second lieutenant shook his head. He should have known Ray wouldn’t tell Face – he had promised, and Ray didn’t break promises.

Murdock walked to his locker, addressing Face as he started throwing clothes into a duffel.

“I thought you were doing something for Hannibal?”

“I was. Then Vi came to see me.”

Zipping the duffel shut, he turned to find his friend looking at him.

“I have severe reservations about this,” Face said, sounding almost like Hannibal.

He held out a paper and Murdock took it from him. Seeing that it was a day pass to Cam Ranh, Murdock swallowed his initial irritation.

“Thanks, Face.”

“I managed to commandeer an idle slick, too. They need it moved to Cam Ranh and I told the Sarge I’d take care of getting it done. Technically, I suppose that’s work, but Hannibal gave us the green light. Promised he wouldn’t kick your ass this one time.” Face smirked.

A smile curved Murdock’s lips. “I might even beat Shy to Cam Ranh.”

“And what are you going to do once you’re there?” Ray asked.

Recognizing the concern on both of his friends’ faces Murdock shrugged.

“I don’t know. I think I can wear her down.”

“Well, some good news on that front,” Face said. “Vi told me Dean is staying behind to oversee the last day here. But Willie is already on his way to Cam Ranh. And you can bet he’s going to keep a close eye on Sheila.”

Ray raised an eyebrow at Face. “Might help if Murdock had some backup...”

“Somebody to run interference.” Face grinned.

Murdock snorted. “You guys already have a plan in mind?”

Face held up two additional passes. “I told Hannibal that in order to complete the project he has me working on that I needed Gravy’s help with some acquisitions in Cam Ranh, which is true, but the work shouldn’t take us long. I also told him you needed the company to recover from a broken heart – again, true, at least in part. So we’ll be joining you on your trip.”

“What do you think Hannibal’s going to do when he realizes you’re scamming _him_?” Murdock asked.

Ray snickered. “I think he already knows. He puts up with it ‘cause Face is so damn cute.”

Ignoring the jab, Face said, “I have a few last minute things to take care of. Meet me at the airfield in about half an hour.”

As Face disappeared outside, Murdock turned to Ray. “What does he know?”

“Just what Vi told him. Apparently she caught him as soon as he walked out of the barracks this morning.”

BA came slamming in moments later. “Murdock, good, you here.”

“So I am.”

Grunting, BA held out the envelope. “Your little lady stopped by the motor pool and dropped this off for you. Tol’ me to tell you she was sorry.”

“Shy?”

BA nodded. Taking the envelope, Murdock tore it open and unfolded the note inside:

_HM,_

_You left before I could tell you... you need to be careful. I have reason to believe that you are being set up to take the fall for the smuggling. I know you haven’t been involved since Da Nang, but I’m afraid that someone is working hard to make sure that there are crumb trails leading back to you. I can’t explain anymore. Just please promise me you’ll be careful._

_Take care of yourself, flyboy._

_S._

“I’ll be damned.” Murdock breathed.

Ray stepped forward. “What does it say?”

“She’s warning me...” Stopping, Murdock looked up uncertainly at the two men hovering nearby. They were probably better off not knowing about the smuggling. “She’s, uh, you know, warning me to… take care of myself. Hey, big guy, thanks for the courier service.”

He folded the paper, shoved it back in the envelope and walked to his desk to put it away.

m

Sharing a questioning glance with BA, Ray wondered what the hell was in that note. He turned so his back was to Murdock. It was times like this he wished they at least had dividers so there was some semblance of privacy. He spoke to BA in a whisper.

“What did she say when she dropped it off?”

Frowning, BA murmured, “She was acting weird, man. Wanted me to tell Murdock she’s sorry, like I said.”

“Wonder what that letter really says.”

“I’m bettin’ it’s real interesting. If anyone can find out, you can, Ray. He don’t talk to nobody else ‘bout private stuff. Not e’en Face.”

Ray blew out a breath. Sometimes he got tired of being everyone’s confidant. “Yeah.”

Cuffing him on the shoulder, BA grinned encouragingly and then said in a loud voice, “I gotta get back to the motor pool. I’ll see ya later, Murdock.”

Without turning, Murdock said, “Bye, big guy.”

Walking over to the pilot, Ray tapped him on the shoulder.

Murdock jumped and turned around. “What the hell, Ray?”

“Out with it, kid. What did the note say?”

“None of your business,” Murdock snapped.

“You just came from seeing her. What did she write in the note that she couldn’t say to you in person?”

“I said it’s none of your fucking business, Ray,” he growled.

“You said you thought she was lying to you...”

Hand clenching around the envelope, Murdock ground out, “Yeah, this… pretty much confirms that.”

With a comforting hand on Murdock’s shoulder, Ray prompted, “So she was lying to you? What about?”

Murdock tore the paper back out of the envelope and held it out to him.

“Not just to me – to everyone. She’s gotta be undercover, Ray.”

Ray’s eyes widened as he read the letter. “If you figured it out...”

Murdock shook his head. “She’s pretty good. A little green, but I don’t think the people that matter have a clue she isn’t who she says she is.”

“What the hell is this about smuggling?”

Murdock didn’t seem to be listening. “She must be investigating Steiger and Leighton. She asked a lot of questions about them and their activities.”

“What do you have to do with any of this, Murdock?”

Shifting from foot to foot, it was obvious the kid was uncomfortable.

“I knew Steiger and Leighton back at Da Nang.”

Ray looked at him intently. “How well?”

When Murdock didn’t answer right away, Ray pressed. “You know what, kid? The attitude gets a little irritating. I’m your friend, but if I don’t know what’s going on I can’t help.”

“I don’t want to get you involved, Ray. It’s my problem.”

Crossing his arms, Ray snapped, “You really don’t fucking get it, do you, Murdock? Your problem _is_ our problem. You’ve been with us for over a year. When are you going to get it through your thick head that we take care of each other?”

Rolled his head, the pilot started pacing. Ray let him go for a few turns, then prodded again, “Out with it, Murdock.”

When Murdock turned to face him Ray was struck by how young he looked; like he was barely old enough to drive and had been shoved into a living nightmare.

“I was really fucked up when I got to Da Nang, Ray. Really fucked up.”

“What happened?”

The anguish in Murdock’s face made Ray’s heart drop into his gut. Where the hell did Hannibal find these fucked up kids, anyway?

It was a full minute before Murdock answered. “It was a black op that went all to hell. I’m not supposed to talk about it, but it’s why I left the Company. I had a lot of trouble dealing with what happened...”

Ray knew where this was leading. A green recruit gets caught up in a cluster fuck of a mission. When he can’t deal with what happened the Company dumps him on the Army and washes their hands of the problem. He was a little surprised that Murdock was opening up about it so easily. Normally it would have taken a long evening of drinking to make him this candid.

“I got involved in stuff that, in hindsight, I shouldn’t have. Drugs were an easy way out. They even seemed to help, for a while. Then I ended up flying hot and high, and lost my peter pilot. Hell of a way to learn a lesson.”

Ray was sympathetic. There was no way to know whether Murdock’s guilt was well-founded or not, but in the end it didn’t matter. Guilt was guilt and it would eat you alive if you let it.

“Sounds like ancient history, kid.”

“Maybe, but history has a way of coming back ‘round to bite you in the ass.” Murdock snorted. “Just look at where we are.”

“I think I’m missing a piece of the puzzle.”

Murdock dropped onto his bunk, elbows resting on knees and head hanging. “I was doin’ more than just using, Ray. I was involved in smuggling. I managed to walk away, which at the time kind of surprised me. As it turns out, the break may not have been as clean as I thought. Shy obviously thinks they’re trying to frame me. Seems hard to believe, but I don’t suppose it’s outside of the realm of possibility.”

Ray wondered what made Shy think that – knowing could help them guard against whatever might be coming. It did seem to support Murdock’s assertion that she was undercover on an investigation. She was taking a hell of a chance leaving Murdock a note.

“Sounds like she had good reason to want you to be careful.”

Murdock shrugged. “I guess.”

Ray smirked. He suspected Shy had fallen as hard as Murdock. Walking over, he took a seat next to the kid.

“She doesn’t know you very well, does she?”

“You might be surprised,” Murdock said.

“Gonna have to enlist the team for this mission. It’s going to take all of us to keep your skinny ass out of trouble.”

Murdock’s face closed. Ray could have kicked himself.

“C’mon, Murdock. All I’m saying is that it sounds like something we can help with. You don’t have to go it alone.”

Ray managed to hold Murdock’s gaze for several seconds before the kid looked at his watch and stood. It was hard to tell, but he hoped like hell he’d gotten through.

“Thanks for lettin’ me bend your ear, Ray. I’m gonna head to the airfield and get the bird ready to go. I’ll see you when we get back.”

“Hey, Murdock. Stick to your guns with this girl. I have a good feeling about her.”


	9. Change of Scenery

Viola sat in the driver’s seat of a large transport truck and watched as Sheila climbed in beside her. 

“Hey, Vi. How are you?”

The cheerfulness was definitely forced. Vi cranked the key and the truck roared to life.

“I was better when I still had a day to spend with a handsome lieutenant.”

Sheila slammed the door. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, sweetie,” Vi said with a shake of her head. “Don’t know why Dean has to be such a dip where your pilot is concerned. What did he say to you?”

“Told me to make a clean break.”

“Crap.”

“Probably for the best anyway.”

Between the forlorn look on Sheila’s face and the emotionless tone of her voice, Vi could tell the girl was heartbroken.

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

Vi put the truck in gear and followed the lead vehicle off Nha Trang base.

“I said, ‘bullshit,’ Sheila. You don’t spend every possible moment with a guy and not care about him. I saw how you looked at Murdock.”

“Like you look at Face?”

“That is totally different. I am _not_ looking for Mr. Right... just Mr. Right-for-the-night.”

“Maybe that’s all I should look for, too.”

“You just aren’t built that way, Shy. And don’t pretend like you didn’t fall for the pilot.”

Sheila turned away from her and Vi sighed. “C’mon, girl, buck up. You’ll see Murdock again. What Dean doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.”

“You’re wrong, Vi. On all counts. Murdock’s better off if he doesn’t see me again.”

“You don’t mean that. He’s crazy about you, Sheila.”

“He doesn’t even know me.” Sheila turned and gazed fixedly out the window. “It doesn’t matter anyway because it’s over. I don’t want to talk about it, anymore.”

Vi opened her mouth, then closed it again. Maybe it would be best to just let Sheila be surprised.

mmm

Murdock had just finished pre-flight when Face stepped up into the co-pilot’s seat.

“Are you ready to go, Murdock?”

“Haven’t seen Gravy, yet.”

“Gravy’s taking the truck.”

Murdock’s brows furrowed. “If you needed to take the truck, why are we in a chopper?”

“I hate riding in those damn transport trucks, especially empty. Like riding a bucking bronco. This is quicker anyway and I can get most of the acquisitions in line by the time Gravy rolls in.”

“And if I weren’t going to Cam Ranh?”

Face shrugged. “But you are.”

Pulling on his headphones, Murdock waved at the other pair for Face.

“Is there anyone you aren’t scamming on this one, Faceman?”

“What do you mean?”

“You scammed the Sarge to get a bird, you scammed me to fly it to Cam Ranh, you scammed Gravy to drive the truck you needed in Cam Ranh anyway, and you scammed Hannibal to make it all possible. Did I leave anyone out?”

Face pursed his lips, his look thoughtful. “I think that’s everyone at Nha Trang. We’ll see who I run into at Cam Ranh. It is at the heart of a good scam to make it something that the scammee thinks they want or need to do. _You_ are a case in point.”

“I was going to Cam Ranh with or without your help.” Murdock turned and grinned at his friend. “But I’m glad you’re comin’ with me, Face. So I guess in the end, you didn’t scam me as much as I scammed you. All depends on your perspective.”

mmm

Peter Quinn slammed down the phone before striding over to open his office door.

“Get me a chopper, now. I need to be in Cam Ranh ASAP.”

Walking to the personnel files, he found the one he was seeking – for a young woman who was currently on the verge of getting her ass kicked back stateside where it belonged. Other than noting her name and sex, he hadn’t really paid a lot of attention to the her when she arrived. He was just glad to have someone to toss to Colonel Hunt Stockwell for his little pet project.

He read through her file, his brow furrowing. How had he missed this? Top of her class at Quantico, she’d had her choice of assignments from Hawaii to DC. What in the hell had possessed her to select Vietnam?

He sat back in his chair and looked at the chart on the wall. Finding her name, he smirked. His sources at Nha Trang had told him that from all appearances, she had made short work of getting tight with the pilot. So why was she in Cam Ranh a full day earlier than scheduled?

And now she was calling on the hot line to report an itinerary change taking her to Da Nang. Junior field agents didn’t make those kinds of calls. He had argued with her briefly, but without being able to speak outright it just wasn’t effective.

The op should have been a cake walk, so obviously something strange was going on. He had just gotten off the phone with his primary Nha Trang contact and it sounded like Murdock was going to some effort to get to Cam Ranh, too. Following Sheila Downey, perhaps? Like most people in his profession, Quinn didn’t believe in coincidence.

Apparently ‘Sheila Downey’ had been very successful in engaging the captain – maybe even a little too successful. Was that her problem? That would figure – first time out of the nest and the woman gets too close to her target.

He had to get to Cam Ranh and figure out what the hell was going on. He opened his office door again.

“Where is my fucking chopper?”

mmm

Sheila stepped into the office where she had been told her uncle was waiting to see her. Peter Quinn, her immediate supervisor, leaned against a desk waiting. A scant two hours ago she had spoken to him on the com and here he was. Surprise!

He stood as she pushed the door closed. At six foot six inches Quinn towered over most people, but he made Sheila feel like a midget. His gray eyes were sharp and intelligent, and were currently studying her with an annoyed curiosity. 

“So you’re here a day early. Did you manage to complete your assignment?”

Gazing at him steadily, Sheila shook her head. “I told you, I need to remain with the USO up to Da   Nang.”

“Captain Murdock is not in Da Nang, he is in Nha Trang. I know these Vietnamese names all sound the same when you first arrive in country –”

Stiffening, Sheila drew herself up to her full five foot three inch height. _Condescending asshole._

She answered him stiffly. “I know the difference between Da Nang and Nha Trang, sir. My reason for going to Da Nang has little to do with Captain Murdock. I was unable to find any proof or indication that _he_ is currently involved in smuggling activities. However, the USO tour is another issue.”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Quinn asked, “What do you suspect?”

“This USO tour is a distribution mechanism. Dean Steiger, the stage manager, and Willie Leighton, the procurement specialist, are both involved. I don’t think they’re very high on the food chain, but –”

“Is there any substantiation for these _suspicions_ of yours?”

Sheila barely stopped herself from snapping at her supervisor. If he would stop interrupting and just listen she would get to it. With no choice but to reveal Murdock’s past involvement, she needed to tread lightly with it. Given Quinn’s tendency to jump to conclusions, she had a feeling this could be a dicey conversation. She took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing.

“Captain Murdock told me that he was involved in the smuggling as a courier when he was at Da   Nang. He left the network while he was still there, I’m not sure of the exact timing, but Murdock said he worked with Leighton and Steiger. In fact, when Leighton saw Murdock he got really defensive. And Steiger forbid me from seeing him anymore –”

Quinn interrupted her once again, one eyebrow raised above skeptical eyes. Sheila managed to swallow her irritation while he pontificated but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

“Sounds to me like they were watching out for a naïve young woman getting involved with a lying, trouble-making pilot. I wonder, Agent, just how involved did you allow yourself to become with Murdock?”

Crossing her arms, Sheila leveled an angry gaze at her supervisor, but did manage to respond evenly.

“That is immaterial to what I have to tell you, _sir_. If you would stop interrupting me and listen to my full report, _maybe_ you would understand.”

Half a smile contorted Quinn’s full mouth. “Continue.”

Pacing to work off the anger before she said something she regretted to the man who could make or break her career, Sheila spoke in a carefully controlled cadence.

“I overheard a conversation between Leighton and Steiger last night. They discussed the fact that Captain Murdock walked away from the network. Apparently that doesn’t usually happen. Leighton, in particular, was angered by it. He said Murdock shouldn’t have been allowed to walk away and live. Steiger told him he better cool it, because somebody higher in the organization wanted all hands off the pilot.”

“Sounds like your flyboy might be higher in the smuggling ring than we thought.”

Sheila turned on Quinn in irritation and was briefly stymied by the amused look on his face. “Are you going to let me get to the punch line or not?”

The effort it took for Quinn to school his features into a bland expression was obvious, especially considering that incongruent amusement still sparked in his eyes.

_Does he think this is a goddam joke? Does he think I’m a joke?_ Sheila ground her teeth in frustration, turning so she faced him squarely.

“Steiger said that he had heard that Murdock was being groomed as the fall guy for the stateside task force.”

The amusement evaporated and Quinn launched to his feet. “Are you saying they mentioned the stateside task force?”

“Yes, sir, that’s what I’m saying.” Sheila couldn’t keep the note of smugness out of her tone. She’d have said it several minutes ago if he hadn’t kept interrupting her with snide comments.

“Goddamit. How do they know about it?”

“I don’t know. But Steiger even said that the task force was hitting the ground within the week and that it was going to be a pain in the ass to work around.”

Sheila watched in grim satisfaction as Quinn took his turn pacing the small area. “Son of a bitch, how could they find out about it?”

“I was thinking that if I stuck with the USO for a little while longer, maybe I could uncover more when we arrive at Da Nang. That’s where Murdock was first roped into the network and I’m assuming it’s where Leighton and Steiger both got their starts. At least from their standpoint, Da Nang seems to be ground zero.”

Quinn stopped and locked eyes with her. “Steiger was right about the timing, too. Our first undercover agents hit the ground this week. In Da Nang, as a matter of fact. With more being deployed through the month. How the hell could he know that?”

That information was particularly worrisome.

“Sounds like we have an internal leak, but it’s odd that they don’t seem to know about me.” She mulled that over for a few seconds, then pressed her case. “I think you should let me stay with the USO and see what I can find out from Leighton and Steiger. Maybe they’ll lead me to a source.”

“It is telling that they don’t know about you. I’ll have to check the team rosters and see who’s been added in the last couple weeks.”

One more circuit of the small office and Quinn turned and looked at her.

“Ok, you’re with the USO to Da Nang. Find out what you can without engagement. At Da Nang I want you to fill in our agent there and then I’m going to have to pull you back in. We’re working out the last assignments and I have another position slotted for you.”

“Where?”

The amusement reappeared, this time arousing Sheila’s curiosity instead of her ire. She became irritated when he chose to ignore her question, though.

“Were you able to get any additional information out of Captain Murdock regarding the network makeup at Da Nang?”

“Pretty much just what I’ve told you. I couldn’t exactly come right out and ask and my opportunity to ferret any further info out of him came to an early end.”

Quinn nodded, his gaze thoughtful. “Well, maybe that will change.”

“What will change?”

To Sheila’s chagrin he ignored yet another direct question, taking a long step that put him right in front of her. His gaze was stern, like he was about to chide an errant child.

“I’m not in the habit of listening to the recommendations of a junior field agent, especially one as green as you. This is a short term extension of your original assignment. Learn what you can, maintain your cover and come out clean. Am I understood?”

Sheila could feel the smirk on her face. Even knowing it would likely irritate her supervisor she couldn’t seem to erase it. She gave a curt nod.

“Understood.”

Quinn’s gaze was discerning. After several seconds, he shook his head and put an arm around her shoulders.

“Let’s go make this uncle thing look good.”

mmm

Vi set down the box she was carrying and mopped at her forehead. It was like a sauna today, and she felt like she was going to turn into a puddle. Glancing around, she realized that Sheila had disappeared. 

She grabbed the arm of one of the regular key grips. “Hey, have you seen Shy, I mean, Sheila?”

“She went to see her uncle at the rec offices. He happened to be on base and asked to see her before he shipped out.”

“I’m gonna go get some water and check on her. I’ll be back.” Vi ducked out of the newly erected supply tent.

A few minutes later, she walked into the rec offices. She found the water cooler, drinking several paper cupfuls of the tepid liquid before going in search of her absentee roomy.

Hearing the murmur of voices coming from a nearby office, Vi walked to the door. She stopped cold when she heard a male voice say, “Our first undercover agents hit the ground this week...”

Immediately deciding this was a conversation she should not be listening to, Vi was about to move on when she thought she heard Sheila’s voice.

“Sounds like we have an internal leak...”

Shock rooted her to the spot. She pressed against the wall, listening intently and becoming more and more certain that it was Sheila in that room. Vi almost missed the cue that they were leaving the office, and scrambled out the back door. On the run, she circled around the back and managed to approach Sheila and her ‘uncle’ from the direction of the trucks. 

The ‘uncle’ was a tall, dark-haired man with large, friendly features, and a warm smile. Had Vi not known better, he and Sheila really did look like family members enjoying a happy reunion.

Catching sight of her, Sheila waved. “Hey, Vi!”

She pasted a smile on her face. “Hi, Shy.”

Sheila looked genuinely happy to see her, but Vi wasn’t sure she trusted anything about her anymore. She had never been taken in by a con, not even Face. It really irked her that this seemingly innocent Midwestern girl had so totally fooled her.

Reaching out and taking Vi’s hand, Sheila indicated the man on her arm with a nod of her head.

“I want you to meet my Uncle Quinn. He’s on his way to Saigon, but was able to stop by and see me. Isn’t that great?”

 “It’s real nice to meet you, Uncle Quinn.” Smiling suggestively, she took the offered hand and let her grip linger.

“It’s good to meet you too, Viola. Glad to know someone is keeping an eye on Sheila. I’ve been a little worried. She tends to be a bit… naïve.”

He gave Shy a meaningful look and Vi found herself very curious about the portion of their conversation she hadn’t heard. One thing was certain, that was the male voice from the office.

Her roomy was really a fucking spy. Vi hoped like hell the shock didn’t show on her face.

“Well, I’m taking good care of her,” Vi said. Clearing her throat she smiled and added, “Maybe you could give me some pointers... over a drink?”

Taking Uncle Quinn’s other arm, Vi fell into step beside him.

Sheila leaned forward. “He’s my uncle, Vi. Did I mention that?”

Vi winked at her, but she knew her smile was tight. “I believe you did, sweetie.”

Sheila’s ‘uncle’ didn’t hang around and Vi was just as glad. The guy had piercing gray eyes that kind of freaked her out and made her feel like he knew she knew. Hell, who was she kidding, the whole idea that her straight-laced roomy was a spy freaked her out.

As she and Sheila set to work to finish unloading the equipment, she was careful to keep her in sight. She wondered just what the hell Sheila was doing undercover with her USO tour. Who the hell knew what she had been doing when Vi wasn’t looking? _I won’t make that mistake again._

When unloading was done, the crew went to work on setting up the stage. Shy pitched right in, but Vi managed to slip away. Determined to find Face and Murdock, she had to warn them about Sheila… or whoever the hell she was.


	10. Reunion

Face was pleased with himself. He had managed to find everything they needed to finish Ray’s latest contraption, as well as a few extra items that he figured would come in handy someday, if only in trade. Having sent Gravy to join Murdock at the bar, he was finishing one last run through the checklist to make sure they hadn’t missed anything.

“Face!”

That was a familiar voice. His face broke into a wide smile as he turned to watch Vi run up to him. The smile faded as soon as he got a good look at her face. Her pretty features were contorted with obvious intense distress – something very foreign to the carefree showgirl he knew. She practically fell into his arms when she reached him.

“What’s wrong, Vi?”

Vi’s chest was heaving, but Face managed to tear his eyes from her ample bosom to look into her face. She put a hand on his arm as she struggled to get her breathing under control enough to speak.

“It’s Sheila. I just can’t believe it...”

Heart dropping into toes, Face grabbed her arms and searched Vi’s face, trying to decipher the jumble of emotions he thought he recognized there. He knew Murdock had already fallen hook, line and sinker for Sheila and would be devastated if something had happened to her.

“What happened? Were you attacked on the drive over? Usually the road from Nha Trang to Cam Ranh is safe –”

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Vi’s brows furrowed. “What in the hell are you talking about?”

Face let her go and stood back as he realized with a start that Vi was angry. No, actually, she was royally pissed off about something. His gaze narrowed.

“You said something happened to Sheila –”

Vi crossed her arms, her mouth tightening into a bitter pout.

“No, I didn’t. Sheila is not Sheila. I don’t know who the fuck she is, but she’s not some innocent little Midwesterner, that’s for damn sure –”

Taking one step forward, Face slapped a hand over Vi’s mouth, grabbed her arm and led her away from the prying ears hanging around the truck.

He stopped her in a private alley and looked at her intently.

“What the hell are you talking about, Vi?”

“I’m telling you, I overheard her talking to her uncle, only... well, he wasn’t her uncle.” The whole story came pouring out.

Vi stood in front of him, arms crossed, fuming. “I was about ready to confront her as soon as her ‘uncle’ left. I can’t believe it. I have _never_ been scammed before, _never_. _You_ couldn’t even scam me.”

Face put a restraining hand on her shoulder. He wasn’t any happier about being duped than Vi was, but he also knew that whatever Sheila was up to, she was in it up to her eyeballs. The only thing keeping her safe was likely her anonymity.

“Vi, you can’t do that. I know you’re upset about her lying, but it wasn’t personal. She’s doing a job and you could put her in danger by exposing her.”

Vi’s voice dropped, but her eyes still flashed in anger. “But she hasn’t just lied to me, she’s lied to all of us, including your best friend. I think Murdock should know.”

“While I agree, we have to be very careful. She’s not going to volunteer the truth and I’m not sure it’s fair to ask her. Murdock is going to want to insist on at least knowing who she really is. Otherwise...”

Vi’s face fell. “Oh my God... that’s why she said it was better if he didn’t see her again. Oh, Face, I think she really fell for him, and she doesn’t want to hurt him. What are we going to do?”

“Christ, what a cluster.” Face rubbed the back of his neck, his mind racing.

Vi finally broke the silence, her tone matter-of-fact. “We’ll just find Murdock and convince him it’s best to leave.”

With a resigned snort, Face said, “We can try. But when Murdock gets his mind set, there’s usually no changing it. He wants to see Shy and I seriously doubt anything we say or do is going to stop him.”

“Even if he knows she’s not who she said she was?”

In fact, the con man wondered whether his best friend would even be surprised. He suspected not. Taking Vi’s arm, he led her toward the bar.

 “Even if he knows...,” Face said with a smirk.

mmm

Within minutes they arrived at the bar, located on the beach in Cam Ranh. Face waved toward the back as they walked into the main building.

“Murdock and Gravy are probably out on the deck.”

Vi put a hand on Face’s arm. “I think I’m going to need a drink to face this mess. I’ll be out in a minute. Want a beer?”

Face nodded. As Vi headed up to the bar, he walked out to join his teammates.

Approaching his poker-playing friends, Face heard Gravy coo at Murdock, “That’s three hands in a row, Howlin’. You off you game.”

Murdock threw his cards down. “Not in the mood for poker.”

“Well I sure as hell am. Wanna win back some a da kob I lost to you o’er the last year.”

Face stifled a laugh. Gravy was the only guy on base that would still play with Murdock. The pilot didn’t cheat, but Face had a feeling that he counted cards out of habit, or perhaps it was boredom. Either way, he was nearly impossible to beat when he was concentrating. Face was determined to take him to Vegas when they got back stateside. They could clean up and be out of town before anyone was the wiser.

With a smirk, the pilot said, “I ain’t got that much dough on me, Gravy. No more cards, today.” He looked up as Face sat down. “All done?”

“Yeah...” Face started in irritation. “Shit, I didn’t lock down.”

Standing up, Gravy drained his beer then slammed the empty bottle down on the rickety wooden table.

“I take care of it, Faceman. Howlin’ ain’t willin’ to play no more no how. ‘Sides, Anh ought to be gettin’ off work soon.”

As the Cajun walked away, Murdock looked at Face narrowly. “Not like you to go to all that work scammin’ and not lock it up, Face.”

“I was distracted.”

Vi came walking out and Murdock snorted. “So I see.”

“Well, it was Vi, but not the way you’re thinking. She overheard something that I think you should know.”

m

Murdock emptied his beer and waved to the waitress for another. The buzz from the six he’d already had was the only thing keeping him from looking for Shy. It was too soon for that.

The worried, sympathetic expressions Vi and Face were directing at him forced a sigh from Murdock.

“Alright, what’s got you both lookin’ like you just lost your best friend?”

The waitress came out and set a beer in front of Murdock. As soon as she left, Face gave a quick glance around and then waved a hand at Vi.

“It’s your story, Vi. Go ahead and tell it. Nobody around to overhear, at least for the moment.”

Vi spoke quickly and softly. Murdock listened attentively but kept his expression impassive. When she was done, they both stared at him again, obviously awaiting his reaction. He wasn’t too sure what to say to them, so he took a drink of his beer and didn’t say anything.

Face shifted. “Murdock, do you understand? Sheila has been lying... to all of us. I’m really sorry, buddy, but I thought you should know.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

Face and Vi exchanged a glance. Then Face leaned forward and looked at him fixedly.

“I think it might be best if we just headed back to Nha Trang. Now.”

Trailing a finger through the condensation on his beer bottle, Murdock shook his head slowly.

“I’m not leaving without seein’ Shy.”

Vi reached over and put a comforting hand on his arm. “Murdock, sweetie, she isn’t Shy. We don’t know who she is.”

Murdock quirked an eyebrow and a thoughtful smile curved his lips.

“Well, that may not be her name, but I know who she is. I gotta see her.”

Sitting back, Face crossed his arms, gaze accusing. “You knew she was lying, didn’t you?”

Murdock shrugged.

Face shifted his gaze to Vi. “I told you we wouldn’t change his mind.”

Pressing full, cherry-red lips into a pout, Vi considered Murdock for several seconds before saying, “What do you want me to do?”

“Bring her here after Willie leaves,” Murdock said.

Vi’s brows furrowed. “As far as I know, Willie isn’t going anywhere –”

 “Yeah, he is, and once he leaves, he should be gone at least until tomorrow morning.” Murdock smiled, smug.

“I seem to be the only one who isn’t a scam artist around here.” Vi picked up her gin and tonic and drained it. “I’ll get Shy here as soon as Willie jets. Will you still be back here?”

Raising his beer, Murdock nodded. “I’m not moving... ‘cept maybe to the bathroom periodically.”

Face laughed. “I may have to carry him there and back. We won’t be moving too far.”

“I can get to the bathroom under my own power, thank you.” Murdock smirked. “At least for now.”

“You’ll be back here – that’s all I really need to know.” Vi hurried away.

Face and Murdock looked at each other and cracked up.

mmm

They had just finished eating. Vi knew if they went back to their quarters she’d never get Sheila to budge. Against her better judgment, she steered Shy directly toward the bar.  In blue jeans and a tank top, her roomy was hardly dressed for an evening out but Vi suspected Murdock wouldn’t give shit what she was wearing anyway. It was now or never.

“C’mon, girl. We’re washed, fed, and done for the day. Let’s go get a drink.”

“I don’t feel like picking up guys at the bar, Vi,” Sheila said. “Really. Go without me.”

Vi kept a firm grip on her arm. “I don’t want to pick up any new guys. I just want to go and have a few drinks with my lovelorn girlfriend and cheer her up.”

“I really don’t feel like it.”

“C’mon, Shy, just come have one drink with me and if it doesn’t help you relax, you can head back to the tent.”

“I don’t know, Vi. I’m really not in the mood for a crowd. Now if you brought a fifth back to the tent and let me get falling down drunk, that I could go for.”

“I’ll tell you what. You go to the bar and have a drink with me tonight. Then I’ll get you a fifth and we’ll get falling down drunk together tomorrow.”

_Besides, you’re gonna need it after tonight_ , Vi thought.

mmm

The bar was a zoo. Sheila would have turned right around and left if it weren’t for Vi holding her arm in a vice-like grip.

“C’mon, Shy, just a couple drinks and we’ll leave. Remember, you promised. ”

Sheila sighed in acceptance. Looking around, she decided the bar looked like the least crowded place in the visible part of the building.

“Wanna sit at the bar?”

 “This crowd is making me feel a little claustrophobic,” Vi said hastily. “I was thinking somewhere out on the deck.”

“Fine,” Sheila said. “How about you find somewhere to sit while I go get our drinks?”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you outside in a few minutes.”

Sheila made her way to the bar and ordered. A stocky soldier with dark hair and dark eyes sidled up to lean on the bar next to her as she waited for the drinks. He shifted closer and leered at her.

“You here alone, honey?”

The smell of his breath made Sheila grimace. She glanced pointedly away from him as she muttered, “No, I’m not. And don’t call me honey.”

“Aw, don’t be that way,” he trailed a finger down her bare arm. “How ‘bout if I buy those drinks for you and we can talk about who you’re going home with?”

“I’ll be going home with myself. And if you value your hands, you’ll keep them off of me.”

“You’re a real firecracker, aren’t you?” His whiskey-laced breath was enough to make Sheila gag.

“Get your hand off my ass,” she snapped, pushing him away.

He caught himself against the bar, and moved back toward her. “C’mon, sweet cheeks, I bet I can make you forget whatever’s got you so uptight.”

His groping hand reached out for her again. Tired of the game, Sheila grabbed it by the thumb and bent it up behind the man’s back. 

“I said ‘no’, sweet cheeks. Now back the hell off.”

She let him go with a final shove away from her. Red in the face and muttering ‘crazy bitch,’ he disappeared into the crowd. Back at the bar, she tried to relax, but the adrenalin buzzing along her nerves was making her fidgety.

The bartender was back. “Hey, you ok?”

 “I’m better now that that asshole is gone,” she muttered.

“I’m really sorry about that,” he said, setting her and Vi’s drinks in front of her. “I went to get the bouncers but by the time I got back you’d taken care of the problem yourself. They’ll make sure that guy doesn’t bother anyone else.”

“Thanks,” Sheila said sincerely. It was good to be reminded that not all guys were letches.

“Those are on the house, by the way,” he said with a smile.

Picking up the whiskey, she shot it. She set it down in front of him with a teasing smile.

“In that case, how about another double?”

Chuckling, he picked up the empty glass. “Sure thing.”

The bartender walked away. Left in a little island of space, Sheila smiled grimly at the realization that her confrontation with the last guy had not gone unnoticed by the other potential suitors standing at the bar. In fact, the wary glances being cast her direction were oddly soothing. Maybe she would just stay right here and drink herself into a stupor. Vi would be sure to come looking for her eventually.

“Hey, sugar.”

There was no mistaking that voice, and Sheila’s entire body stiffened in reaction. The bartender put her drink in front of her, his gaze questioning.

“Everything still ok?” His gaze slipped behind her. “I could call the bouncers.”

“He’s… fine,” she murmured, picking up the drink and downing it. “How about another double? In fact, why don’t you bring over the bottle?”

With a smirk, the bartender nodded. “You got it.”

Turning slowly, Sheila braced herself for the sight of Murdock. Her involuntary reaction was immediate and with the press of bodies around them, there was nowhere to go to get away from him.

Sheila allowed her irritation at her roomy to swell, using it to steel herself against the desire to melt against him.

“Vi knew you were here, didn’t she? I should have known there was a reason she was so fucking insistent about me coming to the bar with her.”

His smile was apologetic. “Yeah, she knew. She’s the one that suggested I come in here and corner you, too. Said if you saw me you’d bolt. Why is that, sugar?”

The bartender appeared again. After filling her glass, he set the bottle on the bar pushing a bowl of pretzels next to it. Sheila picked up the glass and swirled the amber liquid, contemplating how to answer Murdock’s question.

Would she have bolted if she had seen him before he saw her? Oh yeah. She would have bolted and then hidden. She downed the whiskey. It might not help her come up with an answer, but hopefully it would deaden the discordant emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her at the moment.

Murdock picked up the bottle and filled her glass again, but pushed the pretzels forward.

“I’d encourage you to slow down, but I can’t decide if the booze is going to help my plans or hurt them.”

“And here I was trying to decide if I could drink enough so I passed out until after you were gone.” She chanced a look at him. Big mistake. “When do you leave?”

She _was_ relieved he wasn’t pressing her for an answer to his previous question. The truthful answers she’d come up with were all far too encouraging. And there was no way she could convincingly lie to him anymore.

Leaning on the bar next to her, Murdock’s lazy smile and nearness were doing funny things to her insides. Maybe it was the whiskey. Maybe the combination. It didn’t matter. Sheila knew she was in trouble.

 “I’m here until noon tomorrow.” Sliding closer, he lowered his voice to a seductive drawl. “Face got us a room on the beach, Shy. Just you and me and the waves – sounds like a slice o’ heaven on earth, don’t it?”

Staring at the half-empty whiskey bottle, she tried desperately to ignore her primal reaction to the smoldering look in the pilot’s dark eyes. It didn’t work. Her entire body was betraying her and she came to the foregone conclusion that there was little she could do to stop it.

“I don’t think I can drink enough,” she murmured.

“You’re kinda cute when you’re cornered and half-wasted.” His breath tickled her ear when he whispered, “I got your note. It occurs to me that I don’t know your name.”

The unbidden wish that he would press his lips to the nape of her neck sent a shockwave through her. Her unconscious brain had obviously given up the fight, but the aware part of her psyche was still being very stubborn.

“The note was... a mistake.”

Her fingers closed around the glass and she shot it, then popped a chewy pretzel in her mouth as she pushed the whiskey bottle away.

Motioning to the bartender, she said, “I’ve decided I should probably lay off the booze. Could I have a large glass of water, please?”

“Sure.”

The meaningful look the bartender cast at Murdock, along with the amused grin made Sheila realize just how telling her behavior over the last few minutes must have been.

Murdock covered her hand where it rested on the bar, his voice suddenly earnest. “Sugar, we really need to talk.”

Sheila took a deep breath, balling her hand into a tight fist, fingernails biting into the skin on her palm to distract her from the feel of his hand on hers.

“So talk.”

“Vi knows.”

Anger shot through her and she turned on him. “I can’t believe you told her.”

Frowning, Murdock straightened himself and said, “I didn’t tell her anything. She overheard you and your... uncle talking earlier today.”

Sheila slumped against the bar. “Fuck. So much for getting out clean.”

His grip on her upper arm was caressing. “Sugar, I really think we should go to the room where we can talk _in_ _private_.”

Jerking her arm out of his grasp, she snapped, “I have to take Vi her drink. Besides, I think you and I going anywhere private, let alone your room, is a fucking lousy idea.”

Murdock shook his head. “You are one hellaciously stubborn little lady.”

She glared at him for a moment, then grabbed Vi’s gin and tonic and her glass of water and started elbowing her way through the crowd toward the deck.

Murdock’s hand at the small of her back caused goose bumps to sprout across her entire body as they moved through the crowded bar. She cursed silently to herself. There was no way to avoid having him uncomfortably close for the next several hours. The whiskey had probably been a mistake given that reality. In addition to mellowing her out, it tended to lower her inhibitions.

He steered her to the table. As Sheila set her and Vi’s drinks down, Murdock pulled out the only open chair for her to sit in, located right next to her roomy. Then he melted into the crowd, reappearing a couple minutes later carrying another chair. He wedged it next to and slightly behind Sheila’s before sitting down. With one long leg stretched under the table beside her and one propped behind her, she couldn’t move without brushing against him.

There were six of them crowded around the small table: Gravy and a young Vietnamese woman, Face and Vi, and now Murdock and her. Face and Gravy were having a heated debate about the merits of traditional French cuisine versus its ‘poor Cajun cousin’ Creole cuisine. They barely acknowledged the new arrivals before continuing with a detailed comparison of the flavor of crawdads and lobster.

Murdock’s arm draped casually across the back of her chair, his fingers trailing lightly down her arm and brushing discreetly against the swell of her breast. The touch brought her nipples to uncomfortably-stiff points. The direction of Murdock’s gaze and the suggestive smile on his face caused her to glance down and she cringed at how visible her involuntary reaction was through the thin fabric of her tank top.

Sheila took his hand and deliberately removed his arm from the back of her chair. He didn’t resist, but smiled in amusement as he rested his arm on the leg behind her. The change in position caused him to lean closer to her as he slipped his other hand onto her knee.

His breath stirred her hair as he whispered near her ear, “What’s wrong, sugar? Wishing you took me up on my offer?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on the conversation at the table and ignore Murdock’s proximity.

Vi’s giggle prompted her to reopen her eyes. Her roomy was looking at her with a broad smile.

“Enjoying your surprise?”

Her irritation at Vi resurfaced and Sheila was grateful for the distraction.

“You should have told me, Viola.”

Vi raised an eyebrow. “I can keep a secret almost as well as you can, Shy.”

Guilt replaced her initial irritation. “I’m sorry, Vi.”

She shrugged. “It’s alright, sweetie. Just give me a break over your flyboy here. He was pretty determined to see you.”

“I told you, Vi – ”

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Murdock murmured in her ear, “Let Vi alone, sugar. She was just doin’ what I asked.”

Turning her attention to the other couple sitting at the table, Murdock added, “This odd couple here is Gravy and Anh.”

Gravy reached across the table and shook her hand. “Nice to see you ‘gain, li’l fi.”

The young Vietnamese woman sitting next to Gravy smiled tentatively.

She took Sheila’s offered hand and said in halting English, “Nice to meet you.”

Sheila smiled at her. “Chào bà. Rat hung hang duc gap bang.”

“Chào bà! Chào bà!” She spoke rapidly in Vietnamese and Sheila chuckled, responding easily.

Sheila looked at Murdock. “She said it was nice to have someone other than you or Face to talk to.”

Murdock grinned. “Yeah, I caught that.”

Anh’s attention returned to Gravy, her feelings for him apparent in her solicitous touch and tender gaze.

Gravy turned and gave Anh a warm kiss. “Anh yêu em.” He stood and said in general, “Gotta hit the head.”

Anh looked at Murdock who translated. “Buồng tắm.” He chuckled and spoke to Shy. “Not only does Anh have trouble with English, but you just witnessed the extent of Gravy’s Vietnamese. Hell, Gravy barely knows English himself. They seem to make do, though.”

Sheila chuckled. “What do they do when you’re not around?”

He raised an eyebrow at her, the smile that played around his mouth teasing. “There are other, more intimate ways a man and woman can communicate.”

Concentrating on her glass, she picked it up and took a drink of water, trying to rein in her runaway heart. Sitting here in the middle of a crowded bar she had believed she would be safe from herself. She now recognized just how wrong that was.

She took a deep breath before responding, “I’m not sure it’s possible to communicate effectively... that way.”

Murdock lifted his hand from her knee, gently tucking hair behind her ear. Meanwhile his other hand slid from the small of her back to cup around her hip, pulling her closer.

Pressing his lips to her ear, he whispered, “I think we communicate quite effectively... that way.”

It was impossible to ignore the desire that Murdock ignited in her mind, body and soul. Her heart was pounding and the blood rushing through her veins was like thunder in her ears. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the voices around her.

“You sure you don’t want to go back to the room, sugar?” His hand slipped up into her crotch as he nipped at her earlobe.

Murdock caught her chair to keep it from toppling when she stood abruptly.

All eyes at the table were on her, but the only ones that really registered were Murdock’s, the amused glint in them provocative and irritating.

“Let’s… go dance.”

Murdock’s face broke into a broad grin. “Great!”

It took them a couple minutes to make it to the dance floor. With the press of bodies around them, Sheila found herself plastered to Murdock’s front, his arousal obvious and lending fuel to her own.

He looked down at her. “Not sure this can technically be called dancing. It feels more like being part of a human wave.”

Sheila considered how apt the comparison was as Murdock’s arms wrapped around her. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his chest, letting the movement lull her mind from thinking too much about what she was feeling. Her hands slid down his chest to circle his waist as the music slowed – its tempo a stark contrast to Murdock’s heart beat.

He shifted and she lifted her head to look at him. A slight smile curved his lips, his gaze enough to cause a hot flush to creep up her face. Leaning down, he kissed her lightly on her nose and then on her cheek, before folding her close to nuzzle her neck. That pleasant, coiling tension started to build. Her breathing becoming more rapid as he lingered there.

He pulled back and looked at her. The low timber of his voice caressed her more thoroughly than if he had used his hands.

“Have I changed your mind yet?”

She couldn’t seem to help the answer that slipped from her lips.

“Yes.”

“Let’s get out of here.”


	11. Goodbyes

Outside, away from the crush of people, Murdock’s desire cooled, and he could tell Shy’s did too. There was too much they needed to discuss to allow their physical longings to drive their actions. Later, hopefully, but not now.

“Let’s go to the room.” Murdock held out the key with a grin. “Face said it’s a great little place right on the beach.”

Shaking her head resolutely, Shy took his hand and guided him to the temporary stage. She led him behind the curtain to the dressing area set off to the side. It was simply a curtained-off area with a few folding chairs and a leaning rack of costumes, but it did provide some measure of solitude.

Murdock glanced around, fingering the room key in his pocket. “Well, at least it’s private. I still think the room would be better.”

Sheila dropped into a chair. “The best thing about this is that there is no bed –”

“And here I was thinkin’ that was one of the drawbacks.”

She licked her lips and continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “...and it’s hard to sneak up and eavesdrop on this stage – the floor is too creaky to allow stealth.”

“Speaking from experience?” he asked.

She smirked, so he figured his suspicion was correct. He flipped a chair around so he could straddle it sitting directly in front of her. Laying his arms across the back of the chair, he rested his chin on them and just looked at her. God, she was beautiful.

Weary blue eyes lifted to focus on his face. “Don’t ask me questions you know I can’t answer, HM.”

Reaching out a hand, he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Maybe you know me better than I think.”

“I think I know you better than I should.” She shook herself and took a deep breath. “One thing I did want to stress – you need to be careful. Whoever is involved in this smuggling ring let you walk away in Da Nang for a reason. You are ideal as a fall guy given your history.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“From what I’ve heard, you can be pretty damned reckless when it comes to your own safety,” she snapped. “Please, for the sake of my sanity, promise me you’ll be careful.”

He grinned at her. “You worried about me, sugar?”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Shy muttered.

“I care about you, too,” he responded with a tolerant smile. “Will you at least tell me a couple things...”

“That depends.”

Knowing he was going to be permitted precious few questions, and probably even fewer answers, it was important to make the ones he did ask count.

“I only have one question I really need the answer to. What’s your name?”

“That’s all, huh?” She gave a bark of laughter, shaking her head.

“C’mon, sugar, it’s a simple question and you know your secret is safe with me.”

She stared at him for several long seconds before she responded.

“Then how did Vi find out?”

“I told you. She overheard you and your uncle earlier.” Murdock related what Vi had told him. “She and Face were all concerned about how I would react. Honestly, it was kind of comical. You would have laughed.”

Standing, she began pacing slowly, arms wrapped around herself.

“I’d laugh except it’s not funny. I was instructed to get out clean and that’s going to be impossible now.”

“I really don’t think you have to worry about Vi. She’s not gonna rat on you. I get the impression she doesn’t really like Leighton or Steiger, anyway. She may even be able to help.”

Shy rounded on him, her gaze furious. “You really don’t fucking get it. Do you know how many women are in a position like mine? Very few. And my supervisor is just looking for a reason to send my ass home. I am not going to do anything else to jeopardize my mission. That includes recruiting Viola to help… or telling you my name.”

He stood up too. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he forced her to stop and look at him.

“I am not asking you to do anything that would jeopardize your mission. All I’m asking for is your name. If I wanted to blow your cover, I don’t need that.”

“You’re better off not knowing.”

He dropped his hands to his side and gave her a narrow look. She wasn’t the only one who could be stubborn.

“Don’t make me resort to blackmail to get what I want, sugar. I could still blow your cover.”

“You wouldn’t do that, HM.”

With an angry grunt, he said, “Don’t bet on it.”

Crossing her arms, she gave him a no-nonsense look. “What would Leighton and Steiger do if they knew I was investigating their drug smuggling activities?”

Murdock stiffened. That really wasn’t playing fair. “They’d kill you.”

She nodded, her gaze softening. “That’s how I know you won’t blow my cover, HM. Please don’t make this harder than it has to be. You should go back to Nha Trang and forget you ever knew me.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” He sighed at the resolve he saw reflected in her eyes. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“It’s just the way I am,” Shy said with a slight smile.

“Damn it all, sugar! You’re really starting to piss me off!” Murdock stomped a foot as he turned away in frustration.

She laughed at him. “Now you’re just acting childish.”

He shook his head and turned back toward her. This was not how this trip to Cam Ranh was supposed to turn out. Heaving a resigned sigh, he crossed his arms.

“That’s how you want it, fine. But I’ll tell you one thing. I may not know your name, but _I know_ _you_. And when our paths cross again, and I’m confident they will, you better be believing you aren’t going to get away so easily next time. Vietnam isn’t that big a country.”

She walked up to him and stretched up to kiss him lightly on the cheek. “Good-bye, HM.”

He started in surprise as she turned to walk away, reaching for her instinctively.

“Wait a minute, where do you think you’re going? I’m here until noon tomorrow and regardless of the future, I plan on spending the rest of my leave with you. I went to a hell of a lot of trouble to make that possible.”

Her lips formed a straight line. “We’ve said all there is to say, HM. If I stayed now, it would just make it harder to walk away tomorrow. And that’s what has to happen. Please, just let me go.”

“You’re really going to abandon me with over twelve hours of leave still to go? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Nothing about this whole situation is remotely fair, HM. Have a good trip back to Nha Trang and take care of yourself. Please remember to be careful.”

“It’s not even a full day. Just stay with me until I have to leave. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I don’t think I can, HM. Please, _let me go_.”

The hurt evident in her eyes kept him from restraining her. Shy ran off the stage and he had a hard time keeping himself from following her. He was resolved that come hell or high water he was going to see her again, whoever she was. Unfortunately, given the approaching monsoon season in war-torn Vietnam, both hell and high water were distinct possibilities. And not knowing her name was going to be a huge problem.

Knowing why she felt like she had to leave only confirmed that she felt about him the same way he felt about her. That had to mean they were supposed to be together. But the vague hope that there was a higher power out there that would make sure he and Shy met again wasn’t enough to quell the very real fear that he was letting her walk out of his life forever. He just could not allow that to happen.

Maybe Vi could help. He was pretty confident that the little nympho harbored more romantic notions than Face did. At least he hoped so. And while Shy might be unwilling to enlist Viola’s help, he sure as hell wasn’t.

mmm

Sheila stopped by the supply tent and found Karen, one of the other women in the show.

“Where’s Willie?”

“Said he had to head to Da Nang for some urgent matter.”

“He went to Da Nang? Are you sure?”

“That’s where he said he was going. He left a couple hours ago by jeep.”

Murdock’s words echoed through her head in his low Texas drawl, _I plan on spending the rest of my leave with you. I went to a hell of a lot of trouble to make that possible._

Sheila ground her teeth in irritation and muttered, “Murdock.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to see him anymore,” Karen snapped at her.

Sheila’s brows drew together. “That’s none of your business.”

The challenge in Karen’s gaze was unmistakable. “It is if you’ve been told to stay away from him by Dean. Is Murdock here?”

Crossing her arms, Sheila looked at the woman narrowly. Karen was one of the women in the show that was always lurking in the background. Well built but with a face like a mule, she had a stubborn attitude to go with the pugnacious looks. Sheila wondered how much she knew about Murdock. Obviously Steiger had her in his hip pocket and was using her to keep an eye on things when he wasn’t around.

Sheila shrugged. “What does it matter to you, Karen?”

“Willie left me in charge and I intend to enforce Dean’s wishes,” Karen said.

Definitely Dean’s stooge.

Carefully schooling her features into an apologetic smile, Sheila said, “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m just a little uptight about everything that’s happened today. And yes, Murdock is here finishing out his leave. I just told him he had to go away. I was looking for Willie to… get a little support, that’s all.”

Karen’s face relaxed, though her look was annoyingly smug. “Well, he’ll be back tomorrow. For now, I recommend you head to your quarters and stay there.”

“Thanks, Karen. I’ll do that after I walk off some of this nervous energy. I’ll see you later.”

Sheila broke into a jog once she was out of the tent. She needed to go talk to Murdock one more time. Hopefully, Karen took her assertion at face value and didn’t come looking for her.  At least Murdock had shown her the key to the room. She was pretty sure she knew where to find him.

To ensure she wasn’t being followed, she wandered aimlessly for a while. It was going to take time to build the resolve that would be needed to walk away from Murdock yet again, anyway.

mmm

It took some time for Murdock to work up the desire to leave the stage. On his way back to his room, he stopped by the bar and found their table. Face and Vi were gone, but Gravy and Anh were still there, heads bowed together, oblivious to the crowd around them.

From where he stood on the sand outside of the railing that bordered the deck, he waved and called to get Gravy’s attention. The Cajun finally looked up with an irritated expression.

When he caught sight of Murdock, he gave Anh a kiss on the cheek before making his way over to lean on the railing.

“You lose somethin’, gason?”

Murdock snorted. “Yeah, I lost her alright. Listen, Gravy, I’m heading back to my room. Would you do me a favor and tell Vi I need to talk to her before we leave tomorrow?”

“I’ll let her know. She and Face just out on the dance floor. I take it Shy ain’t joinin’ you in you room.”

Murdock shook his head. “’Fraid not, man. You have fun tonight. Tell Anh I said ‘bye.’”

He took his time walking back to his room. He didn’t have a clue where Face’s and Gravy’s rooms were. Chances were, given the short notice, Face had trouble finding three rooms, let alone three rooms together. They had agreed to meet back at the truck just before noon.

Walking down the short hall leading to his lodging for the night, he nearly stumbled over someone sitting on the floor next to his door. He grinned when he saw it was Shy, but the accusing look in her eyes tempered his initial pleasure.

“What did you do with Willie?”

Murdock’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t do anything with him.”

He pulled her to her feet. His grip would have lingered but she snatched her hands back as soon as she was standing. Trying to hide the abrupt action, she brushed herself off.

When she finally looked at him, her gaze was narrow. “So you have nothing to do with him heading to Da   Nang tonight?”

“Oh... that. You really need to be more specific.”

“Are you going to be a jerk and turn this into some kind of interrogation lesson, or are you going to tell me why Willie went to Da Nang?”

Turning away from her, he unlocked and opened the door. The room was utilitarian, with a bed, a little side table, and a chair. A door on the far wall opened onto the beach. It was the first time he’d been to his room, but either Face or Gravy had brought his duffel from the truck. He grinned when he saw the bucket sitting on the side table.

“Murdock, answer me.”

Still out in the hallway, Shy fumed at him. He smirked at her, causing her frown to deepen.

“Murdock…”

“You know, I’ve noticed that you only call me Murdock when you’re irritated with me. The rest of the time, you call me HM. I like that a lot better. Are you coming in or not?”

She stared at him but didn’t move, full lips pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed over tight blue eyes. He held her gaze for several seconds. Then shrugged and walked to the side table, looking down at the bucket. A slip of paper on top had a name and phone number on it with, ‘In case things go south with Shy,’ written below – all in Face’s bold block print. Murdock crumpled the paper and threw it towards the trash can. Face was always contingency planning, just like Hannibal taught them. He appreciated the sentiment even if it was misguided.

He lifted the lid on the bucket. Inside, nestled in a pool of melting ice, he found at least a dozen bottles of beer. “Thank you, Face.”

Grinning, Murdock pulled one out, popping it open on the edge of the table. He closed the bucket and picked it up.

“You know, beer always loosens my tongue. Lock the door behind you, huh?” He raised his beer in a mock toast before walking out the beach door.

Setting the bucket on the sand next to a bent metal table, Murdock slouched into one of two rickety wooden and cloth beach chairs. He took a long draw on his beer, staring out at the waxing moon, no more than a sliver in the sky. The stars still provided the majority of the light and Chiron leered down at him, mocking his naïve and sloppy-romantic narration to Shy two nights ago. It was amazing how much could change in such a short time.

The recognition that he found Shy much more interesting now than when she was just a USO show girl was bothersome. If he was looking for a woman to settle down with when he got home, she probably wasn’t the ideal choice. He shook his head. Whatever choice he may have had in the matter was long gone.

It was several minutes before she finally ventured out to join him. Coming to a decision seemed to have relaxed her some, but she remained standing. He flipped the lid off the bucket.

“Help yourself.”

Hesitating, she did finally bend down to grab a beer. After replacing the bucket lid, she pulled out a pocket knife and flipped the cap off the bottle.

She drank half the beer in one long swig before bending to adjust the position of the other beach chair. It was comical watching her try to take a dignified seat in the old lounge, which seemed to want to swallow her whole. She finally gave up and sank into it, taking another long draw on the beer. Her sigh was resigned.

“The beer tastes good.”

Nodding in agreement, he glanced sideways at her. “So, I assume you’re wondering if you should go running after Willie? The answer is ‘probably not.’ His reason for going to Da   Nang has nothing to do with drug smuggling.”

“Why did he go?”

“May seem hard to believe, but even Willie has a love life. I just leveraged it into an evening of absence.”

“Willie has a girlfriend?”

“Not really, though Frankie Hough is probably only loosely defined as a boy. Not a bad kid, but he definitely got stuck in the wrong body.”

“Willie’s gay? And he has a boyfriend in _the army_?”

“Yeah. Willie’s gay. And not in the happy go lucky sorta way.” Murdock smirked at his own joke. “The military has a history of not usually tolerating gays, but given the popularity of this particular little military action and their desperate need for warm bodies, even the army is willing to look the other way right now.”

Shy had drained her beer and slammed the empty bottle on the table. “I never did understand the whole court marshalling tactic where gays were concerned. It’s just dumb, in my opinion – second in stupidity only to women not being allowed in combat. The army is obviously run by moronic, macho men.”

“I could help you get that bra off to burn,” Murdock said, casting a suggestive grin at her.

Slouching down in the chair, Shy crossed her arms, her expression dark.

“It’s not a joke, HM. As a woman I have to work twice as hard in a man’s profession to be considered half as good. When you face that kind of uphill battle for equity we’ll see how you feel about it.” She turned and looked at him, eyes flashing. “Do you know that I graduated top of my class from Quantico and the number two student, a man, still makes more money in his post than I do? Is that right?”

Murdock pressed his mouth into a flat line and looked at her repentantly. “I didn’t mean anything by it, sugar. I was just hopin’ to getcha outta your bra.”

Her eyes widened and she let loose with a self-deprecating snort. He joined her and soon they were both laughing uncontrollably.

As the laughter subsided, she took a deep breath.

“Sorry, guess I’m hypersensitive about the issue. That number two student also seemed to think I’d give up my career so I could marry him and have his kids. I spent too many years working my way through school to throw in the towel and become someone else’s chief maid and bottle-washer…” Shy frowned. “Sorry, there I go again.”

She pressed her lips together and Murdock couldn’t seem to keep his thoughts from straying towards just how kissable those lips were. To distract himself, he pulled out another two beers.

He handed one to her and offered a round-about apology, “I agree that it’s not right, sugar. Unfortunately, I think it’s gonna take a lot more than burning a few bras to drive the message home. True equity is going to be a tough thing to win. Just ask any black man.”

“This from the white man that calls his black teammate a mudsucker.”

 In the middle of a long draw on his beer, he nearly snorted the liquid out his nose at that little dig. Shy was a wicked debater.

“BA and I understand each other. He knows I don’t mean nothin’ by it. He’s damn good at what he does – better than most of the honkies I’ve seen in his position. We all got our crosses to bear.”

“What’s yours?”

“A compulsive need to belong, coupled with deep-seated independence and lack of a positive self-image.”

“That sounds like the psycho-babble bullshit I heard from my evaluator,” Shy said with a snort.

He grinned at her. “Yeah, they know how to make you feel good about yourself, don’t they?”

They both laughed again.

“So, this Frankie that Willie went to see. Is he a friend of yours?” Shy asked.

“Hell, no. Frankie isn’t real discerning about who he hits on. I was the target of his advances one night and flattened him. I don’t have a problem if a guy swings the other way, as long as he doesn’t push it on me. Know what I mean?”

“I can imagine. In fact, I think I might have paid to see that.” She burst out laughing.

“Oh, ha, ha. Anyway, I still know a couple guys back at Da Nang. They made sure Frankie heard that Willie had been seen with another young serviceman while at Nha Trang. Willie, of course, had to run up to Da Nang to reassure him that it wasn’t true.”

“That was mean.”

“What do you mean, ‘mean’? I got Frankie some time with his main squeeze. I figure I did him a favor. Anyway, I really don’t think you need to go to Da Nang to spy on Willie. Which means you can stay here and keep me company until I leave tomorrow.”

As Murdock watched, Shy’s eyes tightened, gaze fixed on the ocean. He sighed.

“Dammit, Shy, I’m not asking you to spend the rest of your life with me… just the rest of the night.”

She gave no indication that she heard him. He let the silence stretch, punctuated by the pounding surf. It was a full minute before she moved.

Licking her lips, Shy studiously avoided looking at him.

“I’m afraid... ”

“Afraid of what?” Murdock prompted.

“I’m afraid that if I stay tonight, I won’t be able to leave tomorrow.”

“I’m the one that has to leave tomorrow.”

“I’m afraid that I won’t be able to let you go, then.” She shook her head, muttering, “That _has_ to be the booze talking.”

“If that’s the case, have another beer.” Murdock held a fresh one out to her. “Maybe I can even get you into bed. Though I have to admit, you have a disturbingly high tolerance for alcohol for such a little lady.”

m

Sheila ignored the offered beer since she still had half of the last one he had given her. This conversation was obviously encouraging Murdock and that was unfair.

“ _You_ are impossible. And _I_ should definitely leave.”

“Don’ be that way, sugar. ‘Sides, you know you don’t wanna go.”

She closed her eyes, hoping if she couldn’t see him she might be able to resist that thick drawl that seemed to become more pronounced when he looked at her in that way that made her breath catch.

His fingers slid along her arm causing an electric shock to short circuit her entire brain. As the feeling passed, she managed to gather enough of her wits about her to slide her hand into her lap and out of his reach.

“I love you, sugar.”

_Why did he keep saying that?_ Standing abruptly, she blurted, “I should go.”

“You know, Frankie’s the one who introduced me to Willie.” Murdock looked up at her, a devilish gleam in his eyes.

Grinding her teeth, Sheila considered him for several seconds. “What are you up to?”

“Whatever it takes to make you stay.”

“Dammit, Murdock. Have you been holding out on me?”

“Not intentionally. It just occurred to me that there may be some other information I could provide that might help you along in your investigation. On one condition...”

“Don’t say it.”

“It’s just one night, sugar. That’s all I’m asking for.”

She stood in front of him, arms crossed. Quinn had specifically told her to try to get more information out of Murdock. But he had also told her to come out clean. Well, that was shot all to hell at this point, anyway. Taking a deep breath, Sheila decided there was no avoiding the reality that she needed to know what he knew. _Yeah, keep telling yourself that’s why you’re staying._

A self-directed smirk turned into a frown as she met Murdock’s taunting gaze. She squared her shoulders and pulled herself up to her full height.

“What do you have?” she asked tersely.

“Aside from a serious hang-up on you?”

She deflated like a balloon, closing her eyes briefly. That puppy dog expression of his was threatening to make her cave.

“HM, please...” Her voice sounded pitiful to her own ears.

He leaned forward and snaked his arms around her waist. Holding back, arms still resolutely crossed, Sheila was acutely aware of her body’s immediate reaction to his touch. HM kept pulling her forward until she folded onto his lap, not entirely unwillingly. That was when the chair buckled beneath them. They landed in a heap on the ground and looked at each other in surprise before bursting into laughter.

Several minutes later they both still lay on their backs in the sand, catching their breath while lying on the remains of Murdock’s beach chair.

He propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at her. “Slick, huh?”

Putting an arm behind her head, she smiled up into his laughing eyes. “Yeah, you’re one slick flyboy.”

The transition from amusement to arousal occurred without warning. Sheila didn’t even try to resist when he leaned down and covered her mouth with his, one hand sliding up under her shirt. As soon as he touched her bare skin the ache that had been present since she walked into the room became all-consuming. She put her arms around HM’s neck and pulled him down to her.

His knee slid between her legs and she parted them, shifting to encourage him to move between. Even with the clothing preventing them from actually coupling Sheila could feel the mounting tension as they pressed against each other in an insistent rhythm.

HM was hard against her slit and she was approaching the peak when he groaned and rolled away.

Collapsing onto his back next to her, he gasped, “We need to move inside where we can do this properly.”

“No.”

Sheila slowly sat up and drew her knees to her chest. The need for release was nearly overwhelming, but she had to regain control.

Murdock’s eyes closed. “You are so goddam stubborn it’s not funny.”

“You keep saying that like somehow you might be able to change it.”

He growled at her and her lips curved up in amusement. She turned to look at him, flat on his back, muscular chest heaving. Her eyes strayed below his waist where his erection still strained against the fabric of his pants. The coiling tension between her legs was becoming all too familiar when HM was around. _Dammit all, anyway_.

She bit her lip and looked away. “How the hell do you do that?”

 “How do I do what?” Ragged and husky, the timbre of his voice caught her off-guard.

She chanced a look at him. Murdock’s eyes were open again and fixed on her. In the dim light of the stars they looked almost black, bottomless, and she felt herself falling into their depths.

 “How do you make me lose control like that?” Sheila shook her head, trying to clear it.

HM’s low, throaty chuckle sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. “I don’t think that’s a one-way street, sugar.”

She chewed on her thumb for a few seconds before responding. “The difference between you and me is that before I walked into the room, I promised myself I wouldn’t let you get to me. Then a scant half hour later I’m dry humping you like a fucking teenager. What the _hell_ is wrong with me?”

He propped himself up on his elbows. “This really bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it bothers me! I do not lose control.”

_Except with you._ The thought was unbidden but Sheila knew she couldn’t deny it.

“Obviously you do,” Murdock said as he rolled himself to a sitting position, long arms looping loosely around his knees.

The goading grin that accompanied this verbalization of her own self-confession infuriated Sheila. She swung her arm out and smacked him, causing him to list sideways.

“You are such a fucking smart ass,” she muttered, swinging at him again and again.

m

“Hey! Ouch!” Murdock held up an arm to fend off the attack.

With a final, solid slug to his shoulder Shy stumbled to her feet. Meanwhile, he managed to right himself, trying hard not to laugh. He seriously doubted she’d see the humor in the situation.

“Aw, come on, sugar. Don’t be sore.”

He got one arm hooked around her knees, successfully stopping her retreat. Wrapping the other around her waist, Murdock pulled Shy into his lap.

“Murdock! Dammit! Let me go!”

“No.”

The calm, single-syllable response seemed to surprise her into silence. He managed to get both of her wrists secured in one of his hands, cradling her head in the crook of his other arm. Her jaw was clenched but she did stop struggling.

“You know I think my advantage in this situation is that I’m not fighting it. I like losing control with you.”

She squirmed again and he used the movement to settle her more comfortably in his arms. However, he did not loosen his grip. She was surprisingly strong and he knew she was waiting for him to let down his guard.

Looking at her tenderly, he asked, “Why are _you_ fighting it, sugar?”

She jerked against him and he sighed as he freed her wrists and allowed her to slide off his lap. Confusion was apparent in her face but Murdock took comfort in the fact that she didn’t move any further away. He put a hand on the sand next to her and leaned forward to kiss the sensitive skin below her ear.

Resting his chin on her shoulder, he whispered, “It’s not so bad, you know. There’s freedom in surrendering control.”

He pushed her hair behind her ear and allowed his finger to trail down her neck and along her collar bone. The shiver that the touch elicited encouraged him and he shifted closer, placing feather-light kisses along her jaw. The scent that he knew he would forever associate with her enthralled him, his personal aphrodisiac, and his eyes drifted closed as he reached her sweet lips.

She pulled away suddenly, ripping a groan from him. A moment later she put a hand over his mouth, just as a woman’s voice carried to them from nearby.

“Are you sure it was Sheila? Over here? She told me she was headed back to her quarters…”

The accompanying male voice was barely audible, but Shy was pulling Murdock to his feet and urging him into the room, so he didn’t have time to decipher the words. Inside, she pulled the curtain over the beach entrance, and peered through a rip in the fabric.

Murdock put his chin on Shy’s shoulder again and followed her gaze. Outside a tall, thin woman and a nondescript young man walked into view. They stopped several yards from the patio he and Shy had just vacated, looking around before turning to talk to each other.

“Who are they?” Murdock whispered.

“I don’t know who the guy is, but the woman is Karen Lawrence.” Shy slid the door open slightly, listening intently. “Shit. She’s heading to my quarters to make sure I’m there.”

“My little spy is being spied on – intriguing,” he said, chuckling.

She turned and smirked up at him. “You do realize that this means I have to leave?”

Murdock frowned. Damn.

“But you’ll come back.”

He placed a hand on either side of her and moved forward, forcing her back against the door. Leaning down, he claimed her mouth in an urgent kiss, hoping to convey his very real need for her. When her hands slipped up into his hair he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her feet off the floor and molding her body to his. Now totally lost in the sensation of her pressed against him, Murdock moved down to sample her neck again, the sweet taste of her skin further engrossing him.

“HM, please…”

Shy’s breathless plea broke through the passion and he reluctantly set her feet back on the floor. When Shy pulled away he groaned out loud. But when he looked into her eyes he could tell she was as loath to stop as he was.

“I have to go, HM. If I’m going to beat Karen to my quarters I have to move. And if she figures out I’m here with you... there isn’t going to be any coming back.”

Leaning on the wall, Murdock hung his head in frustration as she ran from the room. He knew she had to go. But he was afraid that once she cooled off, she’d have second thoughts about coming back.

He _really_ needed her to come back.


	12. Sneaking Out

Back at her room, Sheila turned on the light and then propped herself up at the head of her bed with a book open on her lap. The hormone high of the last hour with Murdock had been heightened uncomfortably by the adrenalin rush that accompanied the dash to her quarters.

She imagined that this was how a junky felt when they needed a fix. The words on the pages in front of her shifted and blurred. Her mind was too preoccupied with a certain lanky pilot to allow her to focus on much of anything else.

Relieved and surprised to have a few minutes to get her head straightened out before Karen arrived, it still disturbed her that Murdock had such a disruptive effect on her mental faculties. She would have liked to blame it on the alcohol, but she knew that had little to do with it. The truth was that any effect from the whiskey was long gone, burned up in her first encounter with him in the bar. And she hadn’t had enough beer in the room to even feel it.

Her current buzz had everything to do with the feelings that Murdock kindled and stoked every time he was around. It didn’t matter if he touched her or not, just sitting on the beach talking to the intelligent man was enough to set her nerves resonating with an all-encompassing desire.

Fifteen minutes later the door to her quarters opened and Vi walked through.

“Hey, Vi. Early night?”

Karen appeared and Sheila grimaced with the realization that her roomy’s early appearance was entirely her fault.

Vi stopped by her bed, expression accusing.

“I can’t believe you ditched Murdock,” she said as she kicked off her shoes and dropped her shorts to the floor.

“I didn’t have any choice,” Sheila said.

Rolling her eyes, Vi dropped onto the bed.

Karen gave her a disapproving look, before turning her attention to Sheila. “So you are here.”

“I told you I would be…”

“I know, I know. It’s just that someone thought they saw you down at one of the beach-side rooms with Captain Murdock.”

Vi grunted. “He probably called Anh’s cousin.”

Her eyes slid to Sheila, who ground her teeth together trying to keep from betraying the reflex of jealousy the statement elicited. From the smirk that curled Vi’s lips, she could tell she wasn’t entirely successful.

“It doesn’t matter. As long as it wasn’t Sheila,” Karen said.

“You’re a real piece of work, Karen. Dean’s little snitch. What do you get out of the deal?” Vi sneered when Karen’s cheeks flamed. “Well, well, well, he must be a pretty good lay, huh, Karen?”

“Bite me, Vi.”

“Naw, I’ll let Dean keep the job.”

Karen’s face had gone almost purple. She turned purposely from Vi and spoke to Sheila.

“Willie and Dean will both be here in the morning. They can deal with Captain Murdock and Lieutenant Peck. Until then, it would be best if you just stay in quarters. Understand?”

“I’m not planning on going anywhere,” Sheila said.

Vi flopped back on the bed. “In quarters for the night before twenty-two hundred? You have to be kidding me!”

Karen looked at Sheila and mouthed, ‘Keep an eye on her.’ Sheila smiled tightly and nodded.

As Karen turned to leave, she looked down at Vi. “You had better stay put, Viola.”

The door closed behind Karen. Vi sat up, mocking her.

“‘You had better stay put, Viola.’ She can fucking kiss my ass.”

Standing up, Vi walked over to her duffel and dug in it.

“Damn it, I left my sleeping pills in the suitcase at Nha Trang. I am never going to get to sleep.” She turned accusing eyes on Sheila. “Face had me totally worked up by the time they pulled me off the freaking dance floor.”

Unable to stop herself, Sheila chuckled. Which served to make Vi’s anger flare.

“This is all your flyboy’s fault, Shy. What the hell did he do to Dean and Willie to piss them off so bad, anyway?”

“I don’t know.”

Sheila walked to the door and opened it a crack, allowing her to peek out. Karen was walking away. There was no doubt that the woman would send someone back to check on them. But at least for the moment she seemed satisfied that they would stay in quarters as instructed.

Letting the door shut, Sheila turned to Vi, who sat on the edge of her bed watching curiously.

“Listen, Vi, Karen is lazy and she thinks I’m gonna keep an eye on you. If you promise to be back here by oh-six-hundred I think you could sneak out to see Face.”

Vi’s chin tilted down, as she stared steadily at Sheila. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me that.”

Eyes twinkling mischievously, Vi asked, “Does that mean you’re going back to see HM?”

Sheila pursed her lips. She didn’t really think she had any choice.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“C’mon, Shy. You know you want to.”

“Yes, I do.”

She walked to Vi’s bed, waving her roomy away. As soon as Vi stood, Sheila began arranging a pillow and some other items under the sheet.

While she was busy arranging the bed, Vi grabbed her shorts and pulled them back on. She shoved her feet into a pair of canvas tennis shoes and turned to Sheila, holding out her arms.

“I’m ready to go.”

“Not getting all dolled up for the handsome lieutenant?”

“The clothes are going to be gone once I get to the room, so who cares what they look like.”

Sheila shook her head and laughed. “You better duck out the back, just in case someone is watching.”

Vi stared at Sheila for a few seconds, then stepped forward and threw her arms around her.

“Thanks, Shy.”

Awkwardly patting her roomy’s back, Sheila said, “You’re welcome.”

“You should go see HM.” Vi looked at her sympathetically as she pulled back. “He really cares about you, girl. You don’t find that every day.”

Sheila wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she decided to ignore it.

“You better get going. Have fun.”

With a wink and a wave, Vi said, “I will.”

She dropped onto her bed as Vi disappeared out the back of the tent. Once Karen had sent one of her helpers to check on them, Sheila would head back to Murdock’s room.

_You have to go back_ , she told herself, _you still need to get the information from the pilot_.

Propping herself at the head of the bed again, she felt the self-deprecating smirk on her face and chuckled. She couldn’t even convincingly lie to Murdock, let alone herself. Her reason for going back to the room had as much to do with wanting to see him again as it did with needing the information he possessed. More, even.

She picked up the book and opened it, but this time she didn’t even try to read it. Staring at the pages, she let the words blur and blend as her mind once again became preoccupied with a handsome pilot.

mmm

When an hour had passed and Sheila hadn’t returned, Murdock spent some time feeling sorry for himself. Then he thought about things from her perspective and felt sorry for her for a while. Finally, he pulled out a piece of paper and pen and started writing.

He had promised her information and information he would provide. Even if she didn’t hold up her end of the bargain.

The longer he wrote, the more worried he became. His brow furrowed as he reviewed what he had recorded, making a few side notes as what was on the page triggered other memories of his time in Da Nang. He was really glad that part of his life was behind him.

Unfortunately, it was going to be staring the woman he loved straight in the face. Why did Shy have to get involved in this fucking mess? He wished like hell he could figure out how to keep her safe as she made her way up to Da Nang. Folding the two sheets of paper in half, he tossed them on the bed and walked to the patio door.

Staring out at the pounding surf, he tried to puzzle out this latest quandary that Shy had left him with.

mmm

Standing in the hall outside of HM’s room, Sheila stared at the closed door and tried to rein in her runaway heart. She took several deep breaths but it didn’t help and she came to the foregone conclusion that there was no point in delaying.

She knocked and entered without waiting for an invitation. Inside, HM stood at the open door leading to the beach side of the room. Dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, arms crossed, back stiff, he didn’t even turn when she walked in and closed the door.

“Sorry it took so long,” she said, painstakingly examining the room as she talked to avoid looking at him. “Karen took her sweet time sending one of the key grips to check on us. He told her we were both asleep… good thing he didn’t look too closely. Anyway, I figure I’ll be safe as long as I get back to the room around oh-six-hundred.”

Her eyes landed on the folded paper sitting on the bed. Bed... her thoughts strayed toward the intimacy that she craved with HM even as her innate curiosity pushed her to pick up the sheets of paper and unfold them.

“What’s this?”

Her eyes widened as she skimmed the meticulous notes regarding the potential players in Da Nang associated with either Willie or Dean including approximate frequency of contact and possible connection.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d make it back.”

Startled, she looked up to find him standing close… too close. Suddenly it felt like she was making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. She took a step back, putting some space between them. His eyes tightened – the hurt in them unmistakable.

He swallowed. “So, anyway, I wrote down everything I thought might help with your investigation. I didn’t know how I was going to get it to you... I guess it doesn’t matter, now.”

“Thank you, HM,” she said sincerely.

A couple more reads through and she would have the information memorized. She knew it would be a huge help to her moving forward. Licking her lips nervously, she chanced a look up at him.

A slight smile curved his lips, but the tightness around his eyes betrayed his worry. The smile faded and his jaw worked for several seconds before he took a step toward her and tapped the papers.

“These men are dangerous, sugar. You gotta promise me you’ll be careful.”

She snorted. “That sounds familiar.”

HM’s frown deepened and when he spoke his voice snapped with an anger that caught Shy off guard.

“Goddamit, this isn’t funny! If I figured out what’s going on, someone else could. And if any of these men get wind of what you’re up to, _you will be dead_. Do you fucking get that?”

It felt like he had slapped her in the face. She crossed her arms, and when she spoke her voice was as sharp as his had been.

“You’re damn right, I understand. Let’s take inventory here. What do you know, Dean thinks I’m an innocent girl-next-door. Willie seems to agree. Vi only figured it out because of a stupid mistake that my own boss was party to. You...” Grinding her teeth as she considered his knowledge, she knew she couldn’t blame it on anyone but herself. “I let my guard down with you. It was a mistake. _One I won’t make again!_ ”

She spun away from him. Coming here had been necessary but she had the information she needed now. It was time to leave.

Murdock’s voice stopped her just as she reached for the doorknob.

“Wait a minute. Where are you going? I thought you could stay until morning?”

Rounding on him, she snapped, “Fuck you, Murdock. I’m not some little damsel in distress for you to play house with and act the big, strong man. Despite what you obviously think of me, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, just like I have most of my life.”

He pursed his lips, his gaze shaded. “I’m sorry, Shy. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just worried. I don’t like the thought of you heading up to Da Nang doing what you’re doing. It’s dangerous. And I’m not going to be there to keep an eye on you.”

His voice was much gentler this time, but to Sheila’s ears, no less condescending.

“I just told you in no uncertain terms that I don’t need a fucking keeper, _Captain_. You need to learn when to back the hell off.”

m

Her blue eyes were flashing a warning and Murdock did step back, both physically and mentally. There was something raw and dangerous about the woman standing in front of him and even though his common sense was telling him to heed the warning, he found himself undeniably attracted.

“Sorry. It’s just that I’m... I guess I’m having a little trouble reconciling _you_ with… with Sheila Downey.”

He watched the anger turn to hurt, which was quickly hidden behind a cold façade.

“I should leave.”

“What did I say wrong, Shy? I’m sorry, really. Tell me what to do to get you to stay with me until morning.”

Her gaze was wary. “Do you want _me_ to stay... or Sheila?”

He glanced down, trying to form an appropriate response. She wasn’t Sheila, he knew that, was glad of it even. When he looked back up, she still stood in the same spot, watching him with veiled eyes. He caught her gaze and held it.

“The truth is that Sheila was a nice girl, but a little... tame for my taste. _You_ are obviously another issue...” He shook his head, smiling. “I’m just not sure what to call you.”

She stared at him, eyes still shaded and wary.

Taking a tentative step toward her, he pleaded, “Please, sugar. I really want _you_ to stay.”

Her eyes closed briefly and then her full lips slowly curved up in a resigned smile.

“Like you could really say ‘no,’” she murmured. He blew out a breath he had been holding as he realized she was talking to herself. She looked up at him.

“You know, I like it when you call me ‘Shy.’ It’s pretty close to my real name.” Her smile widened, teasing.

 Damn, she had a gorgeous smile.

“Ah, a clue. How close?”

It was a struggle to form complete thoughts as he moved closer to her. He was glad to see she wasn’t moving away.

Murdock’s blood raced at the low timbre of her breathy response.

“Very close. Change one letter, swap ‘em around some...”

He slid his hands around her waist, smiling when her breath quickened. As he pulled her close he was enveloped in her unique scent of musky sweat mingled with lavender.

“Mm, I enjoy a good puzzle,” Murdock said as he folded over her.

Shy’s beautiful blue eyes crinkled in amusement. “You just love a challenge.”

He stopped just short of her lips, and breathed into her mouth, “I must... I love you.”

Shy’s entire face tightened briefly, and Murdock was afraid he had blundered again. But a moment later she closed the distance between them. He reached a hand around her neck, sliding his fingers into her thick hair, and pressing their mouths together. Her lips parted and he accepted the invitation, savoring each taste and smell and touch.

He lingered and explored, memorizing her mouth inside and out. The vivid memories he created tonight would be all he had after she left. It was imperative that he make every touch count.

Keeping one hand tangled in her hair, Murdock wrapped his other arm around her until he could cup a hand around her opposite hip and mold her against him. He was amazed again by how well she fit him, even with their height difference. He accepted it as another sign that they belonged together, and he was determined to make Shy accept it, too.

Their lips were forced apart as he pulled her body tighter to his, her face nestling into the curve of his neck. Her arms were tucked up against him, fingers clutching into his shirt to pull the collar down so she could nibble along the sensitive skin near his collar bone. Her soft lips coupled with her warm, moist breath across his skin, tuned every single nerve in to her touch.

He tugged on her tank top, pulling it free of her jeans and allowing him access to her skin. Gooseflesh sprouted under his fingertips as he caressed her narrow waist. Her obvious reaction to his touch encouraged him. Light as a whisper, his fingers wandered up her side. She quivered.

Anticipating the soft swell of her breast, he instead encountered fabric and a brief flash of irritation jolted him. Though Murdock was dressed only in his boxers and t-shirt, Shy still had on all of her clothes. That was a situation that needed to be rectified.

Carefully extracting his fingers from her hair, Murdock slid his other hand under her shirt so he could reach around to the clasp of her bra. Her body melted against his as she let go of his collar, her arms winding around his waist as her cool hands slid under his t-shirt. When her bra sprung free, he lowered her hands to cup her butt, pulling her hips into his.

The soft moan that escaped her lips as he probed between her legs with his fingers caused his entire body to stiffen. He leaned over her, massaging high on her inner thigh. Even through her pants it was warm and damp, and he could vividly imagine the slick wetness he would feel there if the pants were out of the way. His penis jerked in anticipation. But he was going to have to let her go to undress her and he was reluctant to do that yet.

Soon, but not quite yet.

m

As Murdock’s fingers explored between her legs, Shy’s splayed hands roamed down the corded muscles of his back, slipping into his boxers and biting into the flesh there to pull herself tighter against him. His readiness was apparent, even through her pants. She longed to wrap herself around him, enveloping his entire body within hers. But the clothing was definitely in the way.

 

Pulling back enough to allow access to the front of his shorts, she teased him with a light touch as she eased the elastic over his erection. It reminded her of the first time they made love. But bashful, innocent Sheila was gone. She wanted this – wanted him – mind and body, and she wasn’t going to be timid about it anymore.

 

Once the boxers were below the bulge of his surprisingly round butt they fell to the floor effortlessly. Sheila wasted no time stripping his t-shirt off over his head, anxious to feel his lean, naked body against her.

 

As the t-shirt hit the floor, she met Murdock’s dark eyes, smoldering with a desire that echoed in every nerve of her body. Though they stood a foot apart, the air between them was so charged it felt like a physical connection – as if their very souls twined together.

 

The smile on his lips was both provocative and incredibly sexy, as he murmured, “Now it’s my turn.”

 

A tremor rocked her entire being at the promise inherent in those words.

m

 

When Shy had removed his shirt he had been forced to let her go, but he didn’t really mind. She was absolutely right. The clothes had to go. Catching her around the waist, he grabbed the lower hem of her tank top, quickly stripping it off over her head, along with the bra he had unhooked earlier. Both dropped both to the floor. Half of the barriers were down – now for the rest.

 

Before he could reach for the button on her pants, she already had them entirely undone, allowing him to slide his hands inside. Murdock gently slipped his fingers under the elastic of her panties, moving his hands back over the swell of her hips. Her jeans were skin tight, though, and frustrated his efforts.

 

Her throaty chuckle stilled him. She stepped away and her cute little shimmy to get the jeans over her shapely rear end was nearly his undoing. His breath hitched as she pushed the last of her clothing to the floor.

 

He held back, maintaining the distance between them in the hope that the space would allow him to regain some control. But when Shy stood in front of him, naked and gorgeous and beguiling, perfectly rounded breasts heaving in obvious arousal, he knew it was pointless.

 

To hell with control.  Murdock scooped her up and carried her to the bed. Kneeling on the floor next to her, he decided to indulge in an exploration of her entire body. One hand moved from under her knees, allowing him to run fingers along the outside of her calf and over her ankles. He trailed lightly over her feet and grinned at her responding giggle. His return caress was less tentative, traveling up the inside of her leg to where he finally found that warm, wet welcome he had been craving.

m

Parting her legs, Sheila’s breath caught when his long fingers slid inside of her. He lowered his head to claim her lips in a demanding kiss which she returned, meeting his probing tongue with her own. She was only vaguely aware of his arm tightening around her shoulders as he braced himself to climb into bed beside her.

His hand curved over her mound and he stroked the entire length of her clit as he pulled one finger out and pushed two fingers back in. She gasped into his mouth which never let up its assault as he stroked into her again, and again, alternating one and two fingers. One of her hands gripping the sheet and the other gripping his shoulder, she arched against him, the need for release becoming acute.

“Now. I need you now, HM,” she gasped.

He pulled his fingers out, running them in circles over her clit, causing her entire body to tremble uncontrollably. She pushed his hand away, unwilling to allow him to bring her to orgasm if he wasn’t inside of her.

She laid there trying to regulate her breathing and relax in an attempt to curb her physical need for him as he repositioned himself between her legs.

It was a bittersweet relief when HM finally gripped her hips and pulled her forward to rest on his thighs. The movement undid most of her efforts to calm herself. And when he began massaging the sensitive skin high on her inner thighs she knew it was pointless to try.

Gradually his fingers inched toward where she wanted them, finally grazing her opening with a light touch.

Teasing her folds apart, Murdock exposed her clit and slowly slid his penis along her most sensitive part. His hands moved to grip her hips again, pulling her tight against him as he continued to stroke up and down.

Her breath came in short gasps, perfectly timed to each stroke. If he didn’t enter her soon she was going to go insane. He paused, his own ragged breathing telling her that he was losing control, too.

She braced her feet on the bed behind him, lifting her hips before reaching down to guide him into her. The feel of his entire hard length finally sliding into her brought a sense of satisfaction, however momentary.

m

Murdock leaned over her, bracing himself on his hands as he shifted so he could thrust deeper into her tight, wet core. As she closed around him, he tried to hold on, wanting to prolong the bliss of becoming one with his beloved Shy.

But it was a tenuous hold, and the tell-tale engorgement of approaching climax became undeniable all too soon. He simply couldn’t hold back any longer.

As his initial, almost-controlled release began to pulse deep inside of her, he felt her tense. His name slipped out of her lips as she pushed herself harder against him. 

Her core tightening around him splintered the last of his self-discipline and he moaned with the intensity of the release.

m

Their mutual orgasm swelled through them, overwhelming any individuality they might have been clinging to. He lay down on her, slipping his arms beneath her body as she wrapped herself around him; both of them desperate to prolong the intimacy of their coupling.

Even after the orgasm faded to a warm, tingling sensation, they remained joined. Neither was willing to break the deep connection that manifested physically, but went beyond to a spiritual unity that was more profound than either of them had been prepared for.

Drowsiness set in as their hearts settled back into a normal rhythm, but still they lay locked together; bodies entwined, making it difficult to tell where one stopped and the next began.

Idle exploration led to a sleepy arousal as they took their time to discover one another. Their next coupling was just as all-encompassing as the last and coalesced a bond that neither of them could deny anymore.

The languid passion gave way to sleep that their bodies craved as exhaustion finally overtook their desire to be together.

mmm

Murdock woke when the weak light of nautical dawn began to illuminate the room. Shy’s head rested in the bend of his elbow and their legs were still tangled together. A cool breeze whispered through the open beach door, carrying with it the fresh salty smell of the ocean.

Shy’s face was relaxed in sleep with a half-formed smile on her full lips. He ran a thumb along her cheek and then traced her lips with a light finger. The unearthly quality of the pre-dawn light made her skin glow and he imagined that this was how angels appeared to humans. Aching with the love he felt for her, Murdock wanted nothing more than to hold on to this moment.

But the forward motion of time was relentless. The room gradually brightened as he watched her sleep.

It wasn’t until the sun finally peeked over the horizon that her eyes fluttered open. He gazed into the heavy-lidded brilliant blue, trailing his fingers lightly across her cheek and down her neck. Unable to resist the allure any longer, he leaned up on the elbow behind her and cradled her head in his free hand, pressing his lips against hers.

“Good morning,” she murmured as he pulled back to look at her again.

He smiled. “Very good.”

Her eyes widened as she became more fully awake. “What time is it?”

“’Round oh-five-hundred. We have some time.”

She frowned. “Not much.”

Twisting his wrist behind her head, he checked his watch to confirm the time. “We still have just over an hour.”

His heart wrenched at the sadness reflected in her eyes.

“And when the hour is over, we still have to say goodbye,” she whispered.

He heaved a sigh and slumped onto his back. “You sure do know how to kill a mood, sugar.”

“I’m sorry.”

Murdock closed his eyes and recreated her face in his mind, then turned his head to look at her. Nope, didn’t compare. His gaze narrowed as he began studying her minutely. He had to do better.

She rolled on her side and met the gaze curiously. “What are you thinking?”

“That when the hour is over, we still have to say goodbye,” he said sourly, continuing his scrutiny of her face.

With an apologetic grimace, Shy again said, “I’m sorry.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Could I stop you?” Her lips curved up in a half-smile.

He rolled to face her. Her head still lay on his arm and he lifted the hand resting on the bed behind her to stroke her shoulder.

“You have no idea how much I love you...”

Her eyebrows knitted, blue eyes reflecting confusion and maybe just a hint of alarm.

“Is that your question?”

“Uh, no, not really.” He ground his teeth, weighing the wisdom of asking the question that was nagging at him. “That guy that asked you to marry him... how serious was he?”

“How serious?”

“Yeah, I mean, is he still out there waiting for you to come around or has he moved on?”

“What difference does it make?”

Murdock pressed his lips together, knowing he was stepping into dicey territory with Shy. But she was leaving in an hour regardless of what he said, so it was now or never.

“Well, he has a distinct advantage over me... he knows your real name.”

She shook her head as she sat up. “We aren’t back on that topic again, are we, HM?”

“I didn’t think we ever really closed the topic satisfactorily, so I guess we are. At least level the playing field and tell me your name.”

She leaned back on an elbow, an amused smile on her face. “I think the playing field is probably still leaning heavily in your favor even if I _don’t_ tell you my name.”

Murdock was mildly surprised at her candor. _After last night I don’t suppose I should be_ , he thought to himself, and then grinned.

“Really?”

Leaning forward, Shy gave him a brief peck on the lips.

“Yes, really. And besides, you yourself told me last night that you were confident we would meet again. Don’t tell me you’re already having doubts.”

Shrugging, he admitted, “I’d be more confident if I knew your real name.”

“I know yours.”

“I know you do. But are you going to come looking for me?”

He frowned as she swung her legs out from under the sheet and sat up on the edge of the bed.

“I came back last night, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.” Openly admiring her bare butt as she stood to pull up her panties, it occurred to him belatedly to ask, “Why are you getting dressed?”

She chuckled as she leaned down to pluck something out of his sight off the floor. When she turned to look at him, she was hooking her bra.

“Because, like you said, the mood is killed. And I am going to try and take advantage of that and get out while the getting is good.”

“Shy –”

She leaned down and stopped him with another kiss. “Have a little faith in me, HM. _I_ will find _you_ when this is over.”

“When what is over?”

“This mission... the war...” she shrugged.

He sat up. “The war? Sugar, I hate to break it to you, but at the rate that’s going, we’ll both be old and gray by the time it’s over.”

She chuckled. “You’re probably right. So, when this mission is over, and we run into each other again...”

“You _will_ run into me again, right?”

“Of course I will. Like you said, Vietnam isn’t a very big country.”

“Is that a promise?”

“I promise.”

That brought a true smile to his face. “Seal the promise with a kiss?”

When she leaned down he put both arms around her and rolled to his back, pulling her with him.

“I think you got dressed a little prematurely,” he said, voice deep and husky.

Her throaty chuckle spiked his heart rate. “You said you loved a challenge.”

“I sure do.”


	13. Another Goodbye

“HM, you are making this rather difficult.” 

His arms circled her from behind and he kissed her shoulder. An involuntary shiver ran up Sheila’s spine. Even with the lack of sleep and all of the sexual activity, she was still responding uncontrollably to HM’s touch. Obviously that whole ‘getting him out of her system’ idea she had acted on last night had totally backfired on her. He was more deeply entrenched now than he had been eight hours ago.

She looked at the clock and her resolve to leave hardened. It was already six. If she didn’t move she was going to risk Karen, or worse, Dean and Willie, discovering her indiscretion. That would really blow the whole girl-next-door image, which needed to remain intact at least until Da Nang and the end of this assignment.

Shrugging out of his embrace, she leaned down to snatch her shirt off the floor. She pulled it over her head and tucked it into her jeans. Prancing away from him, she buttoned and zipped her pants hastily and then shoved her feet into her shoes. When Sheila faced him again, she was fully clothed.

“I really have to go, HM.”

“I know you do, Shy.” The folded papers in his hand were accompanied by a grave expression on his face.

Taking the papers, she sighed. Her carefree lover had been replaced by a sober former intelligence agent and though the change was jarring it was also oddly stimulating. She unfolded the papers and skimmed through the content once. Then she went back and re-read the entire thing more slowly, committing it to memory.

She refolded the sheets, handing them back to HM. “I only have one question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why should I take your suspicions of Warrington with a grain of salt?”

The half-smile he wore was self-conscious.

“Well, to be honest, Warrington was my CO and it would be putting it mildly to say we didn’t get along.”

Sheila chuckled. “I appreciate the honesty.”

“Since we’re talking honestly here, there is one thing I need to get off my chest. I don’t want to sound like I’m condoning drug use or anything, but it’s fairly widespread here, Shy. I mean, I could probably count on one hand the guys that I know who have never tried it. That doesn’t mean it’s right and most of the guys are clean. But you try humping through the jungle for forty-eight hours straight without a little pick-me-up. You know what I’m saying?”

“I do, HM. I think if it was just about the drugs, I probably wouldn’t be here. But the drugs are just a tracer. What we’re really interested in is the weapons trade, which has been encouraged among allied factions but is wreaking havoc now that it’s expanding to the enemy. There are broad indications that some suppliers are willing to take the trade wherever the most money is – including the North Vietnamese. That’s the problem and ultimately that is what I’m here to shut down. American troops in southeast Asia have enough handicaps. They shouldn’t have to worry about being shot by their own fucking guns.”

“I never saw any gun trade while I was involved. I’m not sure chasing down Dean and Willie is going to get you anywhere.”

“Follow every lead, no matter how tangential. I learned that while I was working as a private investigator and it holds as an intelligence agent too. You never know where your next break in a case is going to come from.”

HM’s amused smile warmed Sheila from head to toe.

“Private investigator, huh? You know, sugar, I’m really looking forward to learning all your little secrets.”

_You have to go_ , she told herself sternly even as she took a subconscious step toward him. A glance at her watch and she knew she was really pushing her luck.

“Dammit, I gotta get going, HM. I’ll see you as soon as I can, I promise.” Putting her hands on his cheeks, she gave him a hasty kiss and then stared into his eyes steadily. “Please be careful.”

“That goes both ways,” he said as she let him go. “Hang on, I wasn’t quite done…”

HM caught her around the waist and tangled a hand into her hair. Unable to resist his touch, she melted against him as he pulled her into his body. Recognition of the finality of the moment manifested in their kiss – a vain attempt to satisfy their desire for oneness as their inevitable parting became immediate.

The goodbye lasted longer than it should have. It was Murdock who broke the kiss, though he didn’t immediately let go. They clung to each other for a few more seconds before Shy finally forced herself to pull away. It took every ounce of self-discipline she possessed to actually move away from HM.

“Take care of yourself, flyboy.”

“I love you, sugar.”

Turning, she ran out of the room without looking back. The sight of his sad brown eyes would only test her resolve, which was sorely lacking as it was.

Never had she been so reluctant to leave the company of a man. The realization forced her to seriously consider his parting words.

Was she in love with HM Murdock?

The idea frightened her more than what awaited her in Da Nang.

mmm

It was twenty minutes past her self-imposed deadline when Sheila made it back to her quarters. She wasn’t surprised to find that Viola had not yet returned. After clearing off the bed she slid between the sheets, exhausted. Curled into a fetal position, she squeezed her eyes closed but her head refused to shut down. Leaving HM had been more difficult than she had anticipated… and she had known it was going to be hard.

His image seemed to be imprinted on the inside of her eyelids and the heavy musk of their lovemaking lingered on her flesh. Compared to her memory of last night, her bed felt incredibly cold and lonely.

She rolled to her back and stretched out, staring at the ceiling. As a distraction, she went through the information he had given her, categorizing and prioritizing the people she would meet upon arrival at Da Nang. She had a couple weeks until then and would use that time to get close to Karen. The woman’s relationship with Dean could prove invaluable moving forward. It should be a simple matter to build on the trust Sheila had managed to garner last night.

As she was making plans, the door opened and Vi tiptoed inside. She looked as worn out as Sheila felt and didn’t utter a word until she was lying in bed facing her.

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night, Shy. I told you, you should have gone to see HM.” Vi’s expression was sympathetic.

“How was your time with Face?”

“Great. Now I think I could sleep all morning.”

“I think that might look a little suspicious.”

Vi grimaced. “Yeah, I thought so too. But I need a couple hours of shut eye to keep from passing out. Wake me at nine, huh?”

“Sure, Vi.”

Viola was snoring softly within minutes. Grunting in frustration, Sheila returned to her planning. If she couldn’t rest, she might as well make the time productive.

mmm

Murdock folded the last of his clothes and tucked them into his duffel before zipping it shut. Reaching down, he picked up the pillow to inhale the scent of Shy one last time.

No, she wasn’t Shy. ‘Change one letter, swap ‘em around some...’ certainly a clue. Maybe ‘Syl’ – Sylvia. He shook his head. That didn’t sound right. ‘Sky’ was a hippie kind of name and kind of fit her, but again not quite. ‘Hes,’ short for Hester, was a possibility if her mother was a fan of the ‘Scarlet Letter’… he grimaced at the thought.

Grabbing his bag, he headed out the door, still grappling with the puzzle she had left him.

He arrived at the truck at the time they had agreed upon to find Face going through the inventory one last time before they left. His best friend was obviously in high spirits.

“Hey, Murdock, how was your evening?”

Grunting as he threw his duffel behind the seat in the cab of the truck, Murdock chose to answer the question with a question.

“Is Vi stopping by to say goodbye?”

“Probably not. It depends on whether she can dodge her keepers. I told her you probably wanted her to find out what Shy’s real name was, if possible. She’s gonna give it a shot. Said she’d be in touch if she learned anything useful.”

Murdock leaned on the bumper. “Thanks, Face. I kinda doubt Shy’ll tell her anything, though. She’s on guard now.”

“Vi said she left you hanging last night. I’m really sorry about that. I feel kind of responsible for getting you into this.”

“S’alright, Facey. Where the hell’s Gravy? I’m ready to blow this place.”

“Don’t gotta be such a wet blanket just ‘cause you didn’t get any last night. I left you Anh’s cousin’s number. You didn’t _have_ to spend the night alone.”

“I keep telling you, it’s not about the sex. I wanted Shy, not a cheap substitute.”

“Anh might take offense to that description of her cousin.”

“Nothin’ against Anh’s cousin. She just ain’t Shy.”

Face shook his head. “I told you, you should have laid her when you had the chance. But, no. You have to be the gentleman. Then, when you finally decide to make your move, poof, she’s gone. And you’re left pining after her. It’s pitiful.”

Taking a deep breath, Murdock turned away from his friend before he looked up and caught the lie in his face. He was sure it showed. Hell, he could still smell her when he took a leak. He didn’t even want to shower, because it would wash her away. Unfortunately, he suspected that his bunkmates would nix that idea.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “You need to let her go, Murdock.”

“You better heed that advice, Murdock.”

Teeth grinding at the mocking sound of the familiar voice, Murdock turned to find Dean Steiger standing a few feet away, three muscular key grips lined up behind him. He met Face’s warning gaze as he and his friend turned to face the USO stage manager.

“I don’t appreciate you following my girls here, gentlemen,” Steiger said. “I thought I made myself clear when we left Nha Trang. Viola and Sheila are strictly off limits. So what the fuck are you doing here?”

Murdock had never liked Steiger, but after the last twenty-four hours he had come to truly hate the man. The smug look on his face was the last straw. Three long strides put Murdock within feet of him.

“It’s none of your fucking business why we’re here.”

Face stepped in front of him and Murdock growled in irritation as his friend put a restraining hand in the middle of his chest.

Turning to Steiger, Face held out his other hand. “Hey! Hey. We’re all on the same side here. We’re just finishing up some business and we’ll be on our way. Ok?”

Nudging Murdock toward the truck, Face said, “We were just leaving, right?”

But the condescending smirk that crossed Steiger’s face just served to infuriate Murdock more. He pushed past his friend and jabbed a finger into Steiger’s shoulder with enough force to knock him back a step.

“You stay the hell away from Shy, asshole. She’s a nice girl and she don’t need to get messed up in the shit you deal. Just stay the hell away from her!”

“That’s going to be difficult given that I’m her stage manager, Captain.” Steiger’s eyes narrowed and his smile was blatantly goading. “Don’t threaten me, boy. You just let me worry about your girlfriend from now on.”

m

Steiger’s expression irritated even Face, so he wasn’t surprised when Murdock flattened him with one punch. Unfortunately for the pilot, the nearest key grip landed a surprise upper cut that staggered him. The other two started moving forward to grab Murdock’s arms but Face caught the first one with a right hook.

Gravy showed up just in time to even the odds. Murdock got his feet back under him and took after the one that had cold-cocked him.

It didn’t take the teammates long to subdue Dean’s heavies, who were practiced in bar brawls, but not prepared to face a group of men trained in hand to hand combat. Murdock walked over to Steiger, grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him against the side of the truck.

“Let’s get this straight, Steiger. You lay one finger on Shy and I find out about it, I will hunt you down and kill you. It’s simple. Stay the fuck away from her.”

The man’s eyes were wide with fear and he nodded.

Murdock gave him one last shove, then turned and strode toward the front of the truck.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Murdock flung over his shoulder.

A cold chill slid up Face’s spine at the venomous look Steiger shot at Murdock’s retreating back. He knew there were things in his friend’s past that he didn’t know. It was that way with everyone on the Team. They all had their dirty secrets that they didn’t share. Times like this made him wonder if Murdock’s weren’t a little dirtier than most.

He leveled Steiger with a warning glare and watched until the man and his cronies were out of sight before turning back toward the truck cab. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Murdock waited for him by the open door. His dark eyes still sparked with the adrenalin rush from the fight, and he quirked a grin at Face.

“You gonna have a black eye outta that one, Faceman.”

“Thanks to you. What the hell did you hope to accomplish confronting Steiger like that, anyway?”

Murdock shrugged. “Just solidifying Shy’s cover. Besides, it felt good to knock that shit-eating grin off his face.

“Christ, Murdock. That was just fucking stupid. Next time I tell you to fuck a woman would you get it over with and not get your rocks off in a fucking brawl.”

“Sorry. Steiger tends to set me off. Admit it, though, you like a good brawl as much as I do.” Murdock gave Face a soft slug on the shoulder.

“Hell, yeah, he do,” Gravy chimed in from behind the wheel of the truck.

They were starting to really piss Face off. “You can both shut the fuck up. Let’s get the hell outta here before Steiger comes back with the MPs.”

Murdock unsuccessfully tried to suppress his grin as he bowed and held a hand out toward the cab. “After you, Face.”

“Fuck you, Murdock. I’m not riding all the way back to Nha Trang in the center.”

“Yeah, you are. I ain’t straddling the damn stick. You set this scam up, you take the joy stick seat.” Murdock’s grin turned wicked. “After all, you owe it to me. You are the one set me up with Shy in the first place.”

“He right, Faceman. You do owe him. ‘Sides, Murdock’s legs is too fuckin’ long – they’ll get in the way of me shiftin’.” Gravy grinned at him.

Face ground his teeth in irritation, but climbed into the truck. “You’re both just lucky it’s a short ride to Nha Trang.”

Murdock laughed as he climbed into the seat beside Face. “At least the truck’s fully loaded now, huh, Face?”

“Fuck you, Murdock.”


	14. Confessions and Confidants

“No, Viola! Just back the hell off! I’m not going to the bar and that’s final.”

Vi wrinkled her nose at Sheila. “You don’t have to get mad. I was just asking if you wanted to find someone to make you forget about Murdock.”

Sheila shook her head. The lack of sleep was catching up to her and she was pretty cranky.

“I’m not mad, I’m exhausted.”

Taking Shy’s arm, Vi again steered her toward the bar.

“I said I’m not going to the bar.” Shy planted her feet.

“I’m not headed to the bar – I need to change my clothes before I go there. I thought maybe we’d head to our tent by way of the beach. You know, get some fresh air. Talk.”

Sheila looked at Vi narrowly and nodded. They hadn’t really talked since Vi had found out she was undercover and they did need to sort out that little SNAFU.

“Ok. A talk is probably in order. You think we’ll find some privacy down at the beach?”

Vi nodded and they walked in silence for several minutes. At the beach, Sheila headed straight for the water, stopping next to a sand castle that was beginning to succumb to the waves that washed water into a moat dug around the perimeter. She kicked off her shoes, and walked onto the wet sand nearby, where the water would periodically swell up over her toes.

Arms crossed, Sheila turned resolutely away from the castle and looked out toward the ocean. Unfortunately, the damage was already done, as memories from the day at the beach with HM flooded her mind.

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

Sheila started. She had almost forgotten Vi was with her. “What?”

Vi stood further back on the beach, above the water line. “You’re thinking about HM. I can tell. You have that look about you.”

Sheila ran her hands through her hair and turned to look back at Vi. “Can we _not_ talk about Murdock? Please?”

“I’m sorry, Shy. I feel kind of responsible for this mess. I mean, I introduced you to him. Now I know there was a reason why you kept avoiding my matchmaking. I guess Murdock just broke through the barriers you had up –”

Sheila interrupted, “Look, Vi, it’s not your fault. Beside, I thought we weren’t going to talk about Murdock...”

“Right. Sorry.”

Sheila took a deep breath and leveled Vi with a serious gaze. “Listen, Viola, it would be best if you just pretended like the last few days never happened.”

“You mean, pretend I don’t know that you’re a spy.”

“That’s not helping, Vi. It’s a major fuck up on my part that you know. If my superiors find out, I’ll be out on my ass.” Sheila took a step back toward the woman she had come to think of as a friend. “I know you’re pissed that I lied to you. I’m sorry. It’s nothing personal, it’s just my job.”

Vi waved a dismissive hand. “I’m not pissed, Shy. More... curious. What are you investigating in our tour? I mean, I can guess it involves Dean and Willie –”

“It’s best if you don’t know, Vi. I really don’t want to involve you.”

“I won’t rat you out. I promise. It’s gotta be exciting being a spy. Maybe I could even help out...”

Moving forward, Shy put her hands on Viola’s shoulders to ensure she had the woman’s full attention. She fixed an unwavering gaze on her roomy, whose eyes widened.

“This isn’t a game, Viola. It’s dangerous. You have to trust me on this. It’s better if you _don’t_ get involved. And if anyone along the way finds out that I’m not Sheila Downey, it could be very dangerous for me. Do you understand?”

Shoulders slumping, Vi nodded. “I understand, Shy.”

“Good.”

Sheila released her and her gaze was drawn further up the beach, where she caught sight of Karen. Now would be a good time to talk to the woman.

“Listen, Vi. I have some work to do. I’ll see you later, ok?”

“It may be much later. I think I’m going to head back to the tent and get changed for the bar.”

“Have fun,” Sheila said with a smile.

As her roomy ran off up the beach, Sheila bent down and grabbed her shoes, moving in the opposite direction following the wet line left by the waves. She could see Karen out of the corner of her eye, sitting on the twilit beach. Another twenty to thirty feet should bring Sheila passing directly in front of her.

She continued to move slowly, gazing out toward the ocean, thoughts swirling around how to make a connection with the woman. Glancing up the beach, she became distracted when she recognized the room she had shared with Murdock the night before. Her thoughts strayed again and she sighed in frustration.

“Hey, Sheila!”

Waving to her from her seat in the sand, Karen seemed to want to talk. Perfect. Shy pasted a friendly smile on her face and moved up the beach toward the woman.

“Hi, Karen.”

As she drew closer, Shy recognized a darkening bruise on the side of Karen’s face. She ground her teeth as she took a seat, wiggling her wet, sand-covered toes under the warm surface into the moist coolness underneath.

“What brings you out here?” Karen’s gaze was openly appraising, her voice level and emotionless.

Sheila shrugged, deciding to take her cues from Karen. “Just taking a walk. Trying to clear my head.”

With an unattractive snort, Karen said, “Clear your head of thoughts of a certain pilot? Seems to me a quiet walk on the beach would give you an awful lot of time and space just to think about him.”

A bark of laughter escaped Sheila’s lips. “Yeah, it did kind of backfire on me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I saw him leave the room this morning. He was alone.” Karen’s eyes narrowed. “You really like Murdock, don’t you?”

Busy sending thanks to the powers that be that Karen hadn’t seen _her_ leave Murdock’s room this morning, it took Shy a few seconds to come up with a response.

“Uh, I… only knew him for a few days.”

Resting her chin on her knees, Karen gazed thoughtfully out at the ocean.

“They can get under your skin pretty quick, though, can’t they? They’re kind, treat you nicely... tell you you’re pretty. Before you know it, you can’t remember what life was like before they were there.”

Sheila looked at the woman’s profile. That was definitely a bruise from being hit across the face. Her blood started a slow boil. It was easy to guess who had done it.

“It sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” Shy said leadingly.

“Yeah. I guess that’s what keeps me doing Dean’s dirty work, as Vi calls it. Even _after_ he started being not so nice,” Karen said, her fingers stroking the bruised area subconsciously.

“I personally plan on steering clear of men for the remainder of the tour. I’m having trouble losing the one man I did get involved with.”

Karen chuckled and looked at her. “I noticed. Did you see the shiner Dean was sporting today?”

Sheila’s eyebrows furrowed. “Like the one you’ll likely be sporting tomorrow?”

The movement of Karen’s hand to her face was self-conscious this time. Sheila decided to follow up with a question that could be taken a couple different ways and let Karen choose the path she wanted their conversation to take.

“What happened?”

Karen hugged her knees, rocking slightly.

“From what I heard, your pilot happened. Dean took his goon squad and went to make sure he was leaving. Murdock floored him with one punch and then his friends helped him take care of the rest. Dean was pretty pissed when he got back.” Her hand raised reflexively to the side of her face again, a grim smile on her lips. “That’s when he gave me this.”

There was grim satisfaction in the knowledge that Murdock had given Dean a taste of his own medicine. Shy doubted that this was the first time Dean had struck Karen. But confronting Dean had been a stupid move on Murdock’s part. Stupid, and reckless. Swallowing her irritation at the pilot, she allowed her worry to show.

“Was... everyone ok?”

With a sympathetic smile, Karen assured her, “Murdock and his friends walked away with barely a scrape. Dean and the goons weren’t so lucky, though none of them were badly injured. To be honest, I think Dean was more than a little scared. I don’t know what Murdock said to him, but whatever it was, it shook Dean.”

Sheila let her gaze shift pointedly to the bruise. “I’m sorry about that.”

Karen’s jaw clenched. “It’s not your fault. Or Murdock’s. I don’t know why I keep going back. Dean loses control when he gets angry. It probably didn’t help that Willie pulled a disappearing act. The up side of it is that tomorrow he’ll be very apologetic. I’ll probably even get a gift out of this one. It’s not all bad.”

“You deserve better, Karen. No one has the right to hurt you out of anger.”

“What do you know?” Karen snapped, tone accusing. “You’re pretty, talented. A handsome guy like Murdock wouldn’t even give me a second look. You, he followed to Cam Ranh.”

Sheila snorted. “That had nothing to do with my looks or my talent…”

_It had to do with love_. Biting her lip, she realized she had almost said that out loud. Perhaps it was the fact that she found it hard to understand Murdock’s confessed reason for following her. She wasn’t even sure what love was when it came to male/female relations. If it was the chaos of emotions and longing that Murdock seemed to arouse in her, she questioned whether it was wise a wise thing to pursue.

Shy couldn’t keep her lips from curling in a smirk at the irony of the fact that she didn’t really have much choice in the matter at this point. Unfortunately, if Karen knew the truth about what happened between her and the pilot, it might stretch the tenuous bond she was trying to build with her.

Turning to look at Karen, she let the smirk stay in place as she spoke bitterly, “Unless, of course, you mean talent in bed. Isn’t that all most men want?”

“Maybe our problems aren’t so different, huh?”

Sheila pursed her lips. Actually, their problems were very different, but it was a connection with Karen that she couldn’t pass up.

“I guess not.”

Karen’s gaze slipped out to the ocean, turning the darkening bruise on her cheek toward Sheila. The sight of the bruise and Karen’s obvious subservience to Dean, served to push her thoughts of Murdock to the background. She ground her teeth and mentally rehearsed her cover personality. It was going to be a long couple weeks, restraining herself from beating the shit out of Dean.

In fact, once this was over, Steiger would be lucky to escape her wrath with just a black eye.

mmm

“I need a favor, Zap.” Murdock felt like he was shouting into the telephone at his former door gunner. Mike Zappatelli could still be counted among his friends at Da Nang, though not for much longer. Zap’s tour was up in two months, and he was headed home. Lucky for Murdock, two months was enough time for what he needed.

Silence on the other end of the line. “I’m not sure I want to be involved after what happened to Willie, Murdock. What the hell you into, anyhow?”

Murdock’s brow furrowed. “What happened to Willie?”

“He and Frankie were both found with bullets through their heads in Frankie’s quarters. The MPs don’t seem inclined to look much beyond them being gay as a reason for their murders, but it bothers me that I’m the reason they were up here together. Tell me you had nothin’ to do with it, Murdock.”

Murdock had lowered himself into a chair while Zap was talking. Killed because of their sexuality? It wasn’t unheard of these days. But Frankie and Willie had always been tolerated when Murdock was up in Da Nang and they were by far not the only gays around. So why single them out for some kind of gay retribution bullshit. No, there were other reasons Willie might be on the hit list and Frankie could have just been caught in the cross-hairs by association. That reason seemed much more compelling to Murdock, and much more disturbing.

“Murdock?”

Zap’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. “I swear I had nothing to do with it, Zap.”

Several seconds of silence ensued and Murdock was afraid his friend was going to turn him down. He wouldn’t blame Zap. But if Willie was dead, and if it was connected to the smuggling operation, then he needed Zap’s help more than ever.

“What do you need, Murdock?”

He blew out the breath he had been holding.

“The USO is going to be up there in a couple weeks. I got kind of... involved with one of the girls on tour, a Sheila Downey. Cute little blonde, plays piano, sings a little…” Murdock’s voice trailed off as his own words conjured a vivid image of the little spook he had fallen for.

He shook himself and continued earnestly, “When they get on base, I need you to keep an eye on her. Maybe even introduce yourself. Dean Steiger is the stage manager and he and I had a bit of a run in. I just want to make sure he’s not taking it out on her like he threatened to.”

“Steiger? That ass, huh? Sure, bud, I’ll check it out when they get here. But aren’t you worried about what goes on between now and then?”

“I am now. Not sure what I can do about it, though. I told Steiger if he touched her I’d hunt him down. Hopefully that keeps him on his best behavior, but I’m not exactly the most intimidating person.”

The responding chuckle startled Murdock. “Oh, I don’t know about that, Howlin’. You can be pretty damn scary when you want.”

Murdock took some comfort in the comment, but his mind kept coming back to the fact that Willie and Frankie were dead. “Have they found out who’s responsible for the murders?”

“Not yet. And I have trouble with the whole gay bashing scenario bullshit. I mean, Frankie ain’t exactly been hidin’ his colors, know what I mean? If it bothered somebody, why’d they wait until now and why Willie and Frankie? I mean, there’s plenty of queers up here to choose from. Seems strange it happened the one day Willie comes up to visit. That’s what really bugs me.”

“Me, too. Could you keep me posted?”

“Only for a little while longer.”

Murdock could hear the smile in Zap’s voice. “Fuckin’ short timer. Got your figmo ready?”

“You better believe it, and man is she a beaut. Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call ya later when your lady gets here.”

“Thanks a million, Zap. I owe ya.”

“I’ll add it to your tab, Howlin’.”

Murdock ducked out of the communications room. Face and another man stood from where they were lounging against the wall.

Catching Murdock’s eye, Face nodded and then turned to his companion. “Thanks, again, Larry.”

“Pleasure doin’ business with you boys,” Larry said, raising a fifth of whiskey in a farewell gesture as he disappeared back into the com room.

Face fell into step beside Murdock as they headed out of the building and across base.

“So, can your buddy help out?” Face asked.

“Yeah. He said he’d check up on Shy when they got to Da Nang. I’m wondering what the hell I’m letting her walk into up there, though...”

“You aren’t ‘letting’ her do anything, Murdock. Christ, you didn’t even sleep with her and you have to go gettin’ all responsible. She’s a big girl – she can take care of herself.”

“Willie Leighton is dead, Face.”

“What?” Face stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“He and Frankie each took a bullet to the head sometime last week.”

“You think it has something to do with whatever Shy’s investigating?”

“The coincidence is a little hard to discount.”

“Shit.”

Murdock ground his teeth together. “My sentiments exactly. Got any contacts between Cam Ranh and Da   Nang?”

“Let me see what I can do.” Face took off at a jog. Murdock smiled in relief. It was good to have friends like him. It would save Murdock from having to go AWOL himself to follow Shy halfway across South Vietnam.


	15. Back In Her Own Skin

Sydney Wilson left her Sheila Downey persona when she got on the slick to go to Saigon. It had been a relief to leave the messy end to her mission behind her. At least in her own skin she felt like she could cope with the ramifications of what had happened at Da Nang.

A studious-looking slip of a kid walked toward her hesitantly, the wash of the rotors threatening to blow him away.

“Special Agent Sydney Wilson?” he shouted at her over the din of the chopper.

“You found her.”

Sydney didn’t slow her movement away from the helicopter, forcing the kid to lope behind her like a lame hunchback.

“Mr. Quinn sent me down to retrieve you, SA Wilson. You’re due in debriefing, now.”

“Fine. But first I need to hit the head. Where’s the nearest one?”

“Right this way, ma’am.”

mmm

“I wanted to call and let you know your lady is fine, Murdock. I assume you heard about the excitement and what happened to Steiger?”

Murdock sat in the com room again. Another fifth, another private conversation.

“I’ve been on maneuvers for the last forty-eight hours, Zap. I don’t have a fuckin’ clue what you’re talking about. What happened to Steiger?”

“Him and a couple other guys got blown away on the road to Da Nang. Along with a couple of trucks full of equipment.”

“Shit. Was it an NVA attack?”

“That’s what they’re saying officially.”

“And unofficially…?”

“I heard the ammo was all-American.”

“Shit.” Murdock took a moment to absorb the import of that. “Shy’s ok, though?”

“Yeah. She and the rest of the crew followed the next day in a heavily reinforced convoy. They made it to Da Nang, no problem. Steiger and his friends weren’t so lucky.”

“Did you talk to her?”

There was no mistaking the amusement in Zap’s voice. “I talked to her, alright. You got yourself a little firecracker there, man. She said to tell you, let’s see, how’d she put it? Oh, yeah. I think her exact words were, ‘tell the flyboy I don’t need a fucking keeper.’”

Murdock chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like her. Hey, did they ever figure out who did Willie and Frankie?”

“Actually, the guy that was under suspicion turned up dead yesterday. Looks like maybe somebody took justice into their own hands. Least that’s what the MPs are saying.”

Murdock tensed. “Who was it?”

“Ian Miller. Wasn’t he a friend of yours?”

“Not exactly a friend.”

Murdock dropped his head in his hand and started quizzing Zap on the other smugglers he had contact with at Da Nang. His tension mounted as Zap confirmed that each was either dead or headed stateside.

“Where’s Shy now, Zap?”

“She left early this morning. I talked to her roomy, sweet lady named Viola. She said Shy got called home and was headed to Saigon for transport.”

Murdock breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks a million for your help, Zap. Keep safe until you get to ride the freedom bird, man.”

“Trust me, I’m strappin’ in tight for these last few weeks. Take care, Howlin’. Hope to see you again in the Real World.”

Murdock put the phone down and sat back. Shy had kicked over a rattler’s nest up in Da Nang. Based on what Zap had told him, whoever was behind the smuggling ring had found out that the network there was compromised and was busy cleaning up any and all potential loose ends.

He just hoped that Shy had escaped detection, because she was one hell of a loose end.

mmm

Sydney walked into Peter Quinn’s office with a certain amount of trepidation. Though grateful that she had been allowed a shower, meal, and good night’s sleep after the grueling debriefing of the day before, she was certain that the questions were probably far from over. That certainty solidified when Colonel Hunt Stockwell turned in his seat and glared at her as if the entire Vietnam conflict had been her doing.

This morning she had practiced her poker face in the mirror until her muscles had it memorized. It remained firmly in place even as her heart rate increased in response to the anticipated reaming. The last couple days at Da Nang had been a cluster and she felt responsible, at least in part, for what had happened. She didn’t mourn Steiger or Leighton, but that didn’t make their deaths any less devastating to the task force goals.

Syd took some solace in the fact that they still had the other names that Murdock had provided, along with a few she had been able to add during the course of her time with the USO. Maybe they could still salvage something out of the mess at Da Nang.

“Special Agent Wilson, please take a seat.”

Quinn’s voice was emotionless, as was his expression. Only Stockwell’s demeanor hinted at what was coming. She didn’t say a word; just sat down in the chair next to Stockwell and waited. She didn’t have to wait long.

“Colonel Stockwell and I have just finished going over your report and reviewing your debriefing transcript,” Quinn said, voice even and analytical.

“You weave a very interesting tale, Special Agent.” Stockwell’s tone was derogatory.

“You make it sound like I was fabricating, Colonel,” Sydney responded levelly. “I assure you, it isn’t a tale. I related only the facts as I understood them.”

“As you understood them? From where I’m sitting you understand very little, young lady.”

Biting her tongue, Syd managed to keep herself from clenching her jaw, which was a telltale sign that she was angry. It was essential that she maintain her cool with these two men. Silence was her best course at this point.

“Nothing to say for yourself?” Stockwell smirked.

Sydney turned a blank gaze on the colonel. “I’m not sure what you would have me say, sir. If you have any questions regarding the information I’ve provided, or the events of the past few weeks, I would be happy to answer them to the best of my knowledge. That’s really all I can offer.”

Stockwell turned his piercing gaze on Quinn, clearly done speaking to her. “All I require is some assurance that Captain Murdock is not going to end up like the other people this agent has come in contact with.”

Sydney’s initial flash of anger was doused quickly by the flash of amusement she recognized in Quinn’s gaze when it flicked to her. It was fleeting because he immediately locked eyes with Stockwell, expression once again serious.

“As far as I know, Captain Murdock is alive and well, and still living as recklessly as ever, Colonel Stockwell. He appears to be unscathed by SA Wilson’s investigation, which I will remind you was undertaken as a personal favor to you. Since she was able to clear him of any current smuggling activity, I would think that you’d be pleased. It was my understanding that _that_ was precisely what you were hoping for.”

“What I was hoping for was a _competent_ agent who would _quietly_ determine whether Captain Murdock was currently involved in smuggling activities or not. I did not want a reckless newbie who would pursue a line of investigation into past activities that would get everyone around her killed.”

“The job is done, Colonel. You have your answer. The rest is irrelevant… to you.”

“Steiger, Leighton, Miller, Hough, Davis – all of these men were closely associated with Murdock while he was at Da Nang and are now dead. Can you assure me that he won’t be next?”

Sydney tensed at the mention of Miller and Davis. Both had been alive and well when she left Da Nang. Maybe the situation was worse than she thought.

“We know that all of the men you named were _actively_ involved in the smuggling network. Captain Murdock is not currently active in smuggling activities, so we have no reason to believe that he is in any sort of danger... from the network, at least.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that whatever is going on, it is obvious that somehow the smuggling network knows it’s under investigation –”

Quinn stood, his aplomb slipping. “I’m well aware of the issues, Colonel. As I’ve told you – that is not your concern.”

Standing, Stockwell leaned on the desk fixing an angry glare on Quinn.

“It sure as hell is my concern. If I am to be handling the Army’s part in this task force, I want to know what you are doing to neutralize an obvious leak within the organization.”

Sitting back, Syd watched the pissing match. Neither man seemed to remember that she was even in the room. The big dogs were obviously marking territory. Her only concern at this point was whether she’d still be in the war after this battle was over.

“Your only role in this task force is to keep the Army the hell out of my way. Any leak within our internal organization is my problem, not yours.”

“I will not be relegated to the sidelines of this task force, Quinn. It is my people out there that are being killed by those goddam smuggled weapons. I have a vested interest in shutting down this network and I will do it with or without your help.”

“We’re on the same side, Stockwell, and we both know our roles. Don’t force me to push this conflict higher. I appreciate the knowledge and connections that you bring to the table, but that is precisely why I have been brought in to oversee the investigation as an entity entirely outside of the organizations potentially involved. You know that this is how it has to be.”

Acceptance of the validity of Quinn’s statement was apparent in Stockwell’s expression. He still didn’t look happy, though.

Quinn visibly relaxed, sitting down and motioning Stockwell back to his seat.

“It’s pointless for us to argue, Hunt. What I need from you is a detailed list of who in your group was in the know before versus after the date of SA Wilson’s deployment on this mission. It is more and more obvious to me that something changed in that time frame to lead to the entire task force being compromised. Right now, I need your help on damage control. You are one of the few people that I feel I can still trust.”

Quinn’s well-placed expression of confidence seemed to moderate Stockwell’s displeasure and the request for help appeased his desire to be involved. Sydney tucked the tactic away for future use. She admired her supervisor’s ability to read and influence people without destroying their self-image. It was a talent she hoped to be able to emulate.

Stockwell nodded. “You have my complete support and confidence, as well, Peter. The current situation has us all on edge. I trust you to resolve it.”

“I hope to hell I can, Hunt.”

“SA Wilson, I do have one question for you.”

Stockwell’s sudden attention startled Sydney. She sat up and looked at him.

“Yes, sir?”

“Captain Murdock has a reputation as a reckless pilot. Is it deserved?”

Surprised by the question, Syd went back through the stories that Murdock and Face had shared. It was her only frame of reference, but she could infer where the reckless reputation had originated. She sensed that the colonel was looking for some reassurance that Murdock was safe, or at least as safe as he could be in a place like Vietnam. It did make her curious about his relationship to Murdock.

“My interactions with Captain Murdock didn’t really involve his work, sir. But I can tell you, based on the stories that I heard from Smith’s first lieutenant, that he’s just that good. What others may see as reckless, his teammates see as talent and loyalty.”

With a bark of laughter, Stockwell said, “Smith is reckless in his own right, so I’m not sure whether to take that as a glowing endorsement. But talent and loyalty are good qualities to have, and Smith’s team has them in spades. It is too bad Murdock is in Aviation.”

“On the official roster that may be the case, but from what I saw and heard while I was at Nha Trang, Murdock is definitely a part of Smith’s team. He even bunks with them.”

Stockwell’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? Interesting. Well, I appreciate your candor, Special Agent. Good day.”

Sydney stared after Stockwell in confusion, his abrupt departure unsettling.

A chuckle from her supervisor refocused her attention on him.

“Stockwell is that way, Wilson. Don’t let it bother you. He has little time for banalities, and less time for frivolous discussions. That’s about the most personal I’ve ever seen him get and I doubt it made him comfortable to have you read him so easily.”

“Oh.”

Quinn stood. “You have your side arm?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Walk with me, Wilson. We need to talk.”

Sydney followed him silently. Her curiosity burned, but Quinn didn’t turn to look at her, or say a word himself. Together they walked out of the building and down the crowded streets of central Saigon. Scars from recent bombings were apparent, but everyone on the street hurried past as if they were invisible. Sydney fell into step beside Quinn, who took her arm to keep them together as he turned a corner, and another, leaving the crowds behind and heading into the back streets of the war-torn city.

“You did well on your first op, Wilson.”

She started, and looked up at Quinn’s face. He still stared straight ahead, his expression carefully neutral.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You surprised a lot of people. There were wagers that this would be...”

A slight grimace crossed his face as he hesitated, and Sydney chuckled.

“You thought you’d get rid of the chick that was crashing the boys-only party.”

Quinn’s full lips tilted up on one side as he glanced down at her.

“You tell it like it is, Wilson. I admire that. You also don’t seem to have any illusions about your position here.”

“No illusions, sir.”

“I spoke to a few of your instructors at Quantico. Top of your class.” His smirk was self-deprecating. “That’ll teach me to look at the files of the new recruits coming over more closely. Tell me something, Wilson, why the hell did you come to ‘Nam?”

Considering the question for several long seconds, Syd recalled when Murdock had asked her a similar question sitting on the beach at Nha Trang. She missed Murdock, more than she had ever missed anyone besides her mother. Shaking her head to clear it, she tried to remember how she had answered him.

She frowned, finding it difficult to articulate why she had chosen this assignment. There were many reasons, both personal and professional, but much of it probably wasn’t really pertinent to what Quinn was after.

“The Bureau took a chance on me, and I felt like I owed it to the organization to pay that back. When assignments came out, there was a push for this task force and since I didn’t have any family left I figured I had less to lose taking an overseas assignment then most of the others in my class.” She glanced over at Quinn, and grinned. “That and I guess I had to come over here and find out for myself what all the uproar was about.”

Chuckling, Quinn said, “You are everything your instructors said. Independent, level-headed, intelligent, tough... I think I’d add straightforward and bullheaded to that description. You’re an interesting young woman, Wilson. How did you like undercover work?”

After what had happened with Murdock Syd questioned the level-headed part of the description. Glancing up at Quinn warily, she shrugged.

“It was ok. Took a little getting used to.”

“How would you feel about a long-term undercover assignment?”

“I’m here to do whatever is needed to accomplish our goals, sir.”

Quinn stopped, glanced up and down the street slowly and then shoved Sydney toward the open doorway of what looked to be an abandoned building. He led her down a short hall to an empty room where he closed the door.

Sydney stood uncertainly in the middle of the room as Quinn began pacing.

“I have a special assignment for you that is a little out of the ordinary. This leak is proving to be a major problem and one that is going to be impossible to resolve through official channels and standard protocols.” He stopped and looked at her. “I want you to quit the Bureau.”

“What?” Syd stared at him in shock.

Crossing his arms, Quinn explained, “I want you to quit the Bureau when we get back to my office. The CIA has expressed interest in you and I want you to officially jump ship and join them as a reconnaissance agent for SOG.”

“The Special Operations Group? I thought that was a military-run operation?”

“Fifth Special Forces operates several small, elite, unconventional warfare groups out of Nha Trang. You have an in with one of them. Smith’s team has been one of the most successful and they’ve been expanding that initiative quietly. They’re looking for some agents to station there and aid in identifying targets and developing the intel for surgical strikes. You would be one of those agents.”

“I’d work for the CIA?”

“Officially, yes. Unofficially, you would still report to me. Very unofficially. At least as far as in-country personnel are concerned, you’d be on the CIA payroll.”

“I’d be stationed at Nha Trang?”

Quinn nodded and Sydney was surprised by the involuntary swell of excitement that accompanied that confirmation. She would be stationed on base with Murdock.

“In fact, you might even end up running recon for Smith’s team, as well as a couple others. You should leverage your relationship with Smith’s pilot to get your in to the underground workings of the base. I understand you were friendly with Smith’s second-in-command, too. From what I’ve heard, he’s more connected to the black market in ‘Nam than any other supply officer.”

Quinn began pacing again. “Your CIA supervisor will be Jeremy Lewis, who is being promoted to base coordinator for the CIA operations there. I’ve only met him once, but he’s been in country for a couple years, in southeast Asia for the last five, and is one of the best reconnaissance officers the CIA has. He’s also well connected to the CIA ranks. In between your recon work, I want you to see if you can find out anything about the smuggling operation. There is definitely a CIA/Army connection there – one that we need to ferret out. I’m hoping you’ll be well positioned to do just that.”

Sydney shook her head. “Based on what I learned, Da Nang would be a better place–”

“Offing Steiger and Leighton was just the beginning, Wilson. Whoever holds the reins in the smuggling operation is ruthless. Anyone that had anything to do with it has either gotten papers home or ended up dead. The operation has been all but shut down in Da Nang as a result, totally screwing our chances of leveraging the information you unearthed. My sources are saying that the base of operations appears to be moving south, with Nha Trang a likely possibility. That’s where you come in.”

“But with the leak, they’ll know who I am.”

“But you won’t be part of the task force anymore. And you’re a woman. I think you’ll be discounted as a threat. They will be cautious around you, but I don’t think they’ll close up shop just because you’re there. I’m counting on that.”

“What if I get transferred?”

“CIA has its most stable presence at Nha Trang. I think you’ll be left there. If not we’ll drop back and punt.”

Sydney stood quietly trying to absorb what Quinn was telling her. Quinn stopped in front of her, his gaze piercing. “Are you up for this, Special Agent Wilson?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll call in Ike Cheney when we get back to the office so you have an audience. I want you to make it look good when you quit. Disillusioned with the Bureau, you want to make a difference in the war effort – tell me to take a fucking leap. I trust you to read the situation and act appropriately. Ike’s just salivating to snap you up. This part should be a cake walk.”

“But how will I get in touch with you if I find anything once I’m in?”

“I’m glad you brought that up. You’ve been getting mail very regularly from a Lee Zemekis, though I notice you haven’t sent any letters back. That should make a good vehicle for us to communicate without raising suspicions. I have agents that fly in and out of Nha Trang periodically. I’ll personally set up a drop for you once we see where you land.”

Sydney shifted uncomfortably. It was past time for her to buck up and send Lee the proverbial ‘Dear John’ letter, telling him to stop writing. He was being annoyingly persistent about the marriage proposal. But if they were going to use his communication as a cover, she would have to wait to give him the final brush-off. That felt vaguely like leading him on, but it couldn’t be helped. She would just have to apologize to him - if she ever saw him again.

“That makes sense. You told me you want me to leverage my relationship with Captain Murdock. Am I allowed to let him in on my mission? He’s clear, and he might be able to help.”

“I don’t want you telling anyone what your true mission is, Wilson.” Quinn’s eyes were narrow, and the thin line of his mouth was grim. “You are placing far too much trust in a man that you know little about. While I agree that he’s likely not involved, he was in the past. He has ties in the CIA, the Air Force, and the Army that I think you can leverage for your investigation, but other than that I don’t want to take any chances given the current situation. Under no circumstances are you to tell him what you are doing. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

Sydney resisted the urge to shift under Quinn’s intense gaze. It was a full minute before he spoke again.

“You are very young and inexperienced, Wilson, and I’m going against my better judgment throwing you into an op in which you are so cut off, but I don’t see any choice in the matter. I want this one thing clearly understood. _Trust no one_ with the details of your true mission. I will give you an exit to use as a last resort if you cannot get in touch with me personally. The drop will be for coded messages only. Same with any mail communiqués via the Lee Zemekis letters. Even the intervening agents will be in the dark as to who the drop is for. I want your position as secure as absolutely possible. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let’s go, Wilson – before I change my mind.”

Quinn turned and walked out of the room. Sydney followed, thoughts whirling. At least she was going undercover as herself. It would make the cover story easy. She could even be almost entirely truthful with Murdock.

She smirked at the irony of the statement, ‘almost entirely truthful.’ If she was lucky, it would be enough. 

A frown creased her brow as she followed Quinn out into the streets of Saigon.

Enough, perhaps, but for what?

FINI


End file.
